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What The Fark 5: I Can't Believe This Happened!

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Re: What The Fark 5: I Can't Believe This Happened!

I'm proud of who I am (who HAPPENS to be a straight white male).
Being proud of being a straight white male would be like being proud of being born with 10 fingers. Congratulations. You're average. Get over it.

(yes, I'm average, too)
 
Re: What The Fark 5: I Can't Believe This Happened!

Being proud of being a straight white male would be like being proud of being born with 10 fingers. Congratulations. You're average. Get over it.

(yes, I'm average, too)

This person is average:

<img src="https://cdn.cnn.com/cnnnext/dam/assets/150717102350-china-literacy-zhao-shunjin-large-169.jpg" height="300" >
 
Re: What The Fark 5: I Can't Believe This Happened!

Brent, let me educate you:

Right now, I'm a trans woman, and I'm up against it politically and socially.

Right now, cisgender heterosexuals such as yourself don't have to worry about a doctor refusing treatment to you on account of being LGBT.

You don't have to worry about 7 or 8 Bible verses being used to condemn you on a daily, hell, HOURLY basis.

If I were still in high school, thanks to Dumb Old Betsy, there's no protections or guidelines for transgender students. She took those away.

Heterosexual individuals have never had "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" imposed on them. Remember that nugget? "Oh, you can serve in the military, but don't let anyone find out you're gay."

Cisgender individuals have NEVER been banned from military service.

Remember Defense of Marriage Act? "Should same-sex marriage ever become legal, you don't get partner benefits." Thank God that law was overturned.

Even in colonial America, Puritans sought the death sentence for homosexuals. Fact is, Evangelicals STILL want the death sentence for us. They're really envious of Saudi Arabia right now.

Right now, it's an act of courage if I use the women's restroom. I started leaving cards that said "we came. we peed. no problems here. #transvisibility"

I'm a marathon runner and endurance athlete, at least for a little bit longer. Right now, I can't register as a female, even though I barely have any testosterone left in me. Why? Because of the M on my driver's license. The race directors I know don't think this is fair either, but their hands are tied by USATF (running) and USAT (triathlon guidelines). Not only that, there's a strong feeling of "it's just men playing dress up" when a trans woman competes as her gender.

Last year, when Gender SAFE did Transgender Day of Remembrance, we mourned the death of 23 transgender individuals that were murdered just for being trans. This year, we're already up to 9, most of those being trans women of color.

Right now, LGBT youth are 4 times as likely to commit suicide as their cishet (cisgender, heterosexual) peers. I can give you the Social Problem Analysis and Powerpoint I just wrote for grad school.

I could go on.

Right now, Brent, if you want a straight pride parade, go to Walmart. And don't worry, the Old Navy 4th of July sale is coming up.
 
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Re: What The Fark 5: I Can't Believe This Happened!

Right now, Brent, if you want a straight pride parade, go to Walmart. And don't worry, the Old Navy 4th of July sale is coming up. By the way, you probably complain that the disabled parking spaces in front of the store aren't for you.

I understand that this is near and dear to your heart, but you do yourself a disservice with that last bit there, especially what I bolded. Don't insert words into the mouths of someone who doesn't wish you harm (as he has said), it has a history of turning people off from being open to your ideas, or even against you entirely.
 
Re: What The Fark 5: I Can't Believe This Happened!

I know exactly how you feel because this is how I felt in my 20s. Since then I have changed my mind. I'm going to go through my thought process and maybe some of it will make sense to you. I'm not attacking you and I'm certainly not calling you a bigot because, like I said, I've been there too.

1. Difference isn't the problem -- hierarchies are the problem. Variety is the spice of life. An America bursting with all races, religions, ethnicities, and sexualities is a better place than a monochrome 1950s America where such differences were driven into ghettos. Let your freak flag fly, everyone. The snake in the garden has never been heterogeneity, but rank ordering people.

2. But there is an exception: historically privileged groups have to sit it out, at least for while. You want to know when the White March, the Male March, and the Straight March are? EVERY DAY!!! We run the world and we run America. We don't get to fist bump our identity because our identity has consisted for most of this nation's history with us giving anyone not like us the pointy end of the bayonet.

3. The dominance still exists. With gays it's even written into the law. With non-whites and women it's in the persistence of racism and sexism that pollutes all of us, even the best of us. And these things have lethal consequences, they aren't just hurt feelings. The next time you feel annoyed you can't celebrate your whiteness have a run in with the police and celebrate your whiteness by not being murdered.

4. It is very uncomfortable to be reminded that people like us put people not like us through hell. There is guilt there even though we personally didn't do it. That provokes resentment because we are doing our best. Take the sense of unfairness you are experiencing and now magnify it by a billion and attach real life consequences to it. And look around and see the people who stoke that resentment in whites. Do you really want to make common cause with them? See how easily a carefully calibrated exercise in grammatical logic hurtles downhill and becomes Us vs Them. That's where bigotry begins. Thar be dragons.

That's the best I can do. It wasn't an overnight transformation for me. My other advice is talk to lots and lots of people and think about what you can honestly tell them. Do you really want to tell black people and gay people and women to their face that you think their pride celebrations are tarnished because you can't have one of your own? If you feel your cheeks pink with embarrassment at the thought of doing that then follow your instincts. There is information that your analysis is neglecting. The meaning of our actions is colored by context and history. It's not just variables where you can plug in x and y and play goose/gander. There are also conditions on those terms: history and also present prejudice that harmed and harms innocent people.

We were born with a really nice view of Life's Rich Pageant, which most others will never have. That is because we stand on the bodies of thousands of years of bigotry. We have directly benefited from that even though we didn't participate in it. Appreciate what you never earned. Give those who have been screwed a break. If they're p-ssed at you, understand. You don't have to let them take a swing at you. Just don't be a dick about it if they're grumpy.

They should be.

The above is a great post. Thank you for this. The SWM is at an advantage. No question. But I feel that the "majority" is trying to be shamed because they are the majority. It's not their fault of being born that way. I guess what I don't like is that many of today's generation of SWMs are being ripped on for being SWMs, when we're TRYING to change the situation for the rest of the people. Yes, some are complete a-holes (cough MAGA cough). Don't lump us all in with that crowd. I had said that a Straight Day or whatever isn't a big deal, because it shouldn't be a big deal. Having an LGBT Day shouldn't be a big deal, because it shouldn't be. I concentrate on who the person is, not what they are, if that makes sense.

I'm not going to feel bad because I fall into that category. I'm going to be proud of what I am. And others should feel proud of what category they fall into. In the end, if you're not an a-hole, more power to you.
 
Re: What The Fark 5: I Can't Believe This Happened!

I understand that this is near and dear to your heart, but you do yourself a disservice with that last bit there, especially what I bolded. Don't insert words into the mouths of someone who doesn't wish you harm (as he has said), it has a history of turning people off from being open to your ideas, or even against you entirely.

^^^^^^^^^^^ I don't care where I park, and furthermore, I hate the SJWs that shame some people who have legit reasons to park in those spots. My aunt had severe diabetes, she wasn't fat/obese. In fact, she was a tiny little thing. However, she couldn't walk long distances, because of foot pain. Hence, she got a handicapped parking pass.

FTR, though, she died from complications of the diabetes, in her 50s, because she decided she wanted to live life on her own terms, rather than follow the rules of said diabetes. Talked to her about it once, and she said, "I'd rather die happy than miserable."
 
The above is a great post. Thank you for this. The SWM is at an advantage. No question. But I feel that the "majority" is trying to be shamed because they are the majority. It's not their fault of being born that way. I guess what I don't like is that many of today's generation of SWMs are being ripped on for being SWMs, when we're TRYING to change the situation for the rest of the people. Yes, some are complete a-holes (cough MAGA cough). Don't lump us all in with that crowd. I had said that a Straight Day or whatever isn't a big deal, because it shouldn't be a big deal. Having an LGBT Day shouldn't be a big deal, because it shouldn't be. I concentrate on who the person is, not what they are, if that makes sense.

I'm not going to feel bad because I fall into that category. I'm going to be proud of what I am. And others should feel proud of what category they fall into. In the end, if you're not an a-hole, more power to you.

I have a suggestion and I’m being serious, not snarky- but try not to view it as anyone is shaming you. Letting minorities celebrate isn’t shaming the majority and I think the majority should calm down.
 
Re: What The Fark 5: I Can't Believe This Happened!

I have a suggestion and I’m being serious, not snarky- but try not to view it as anyone is shaming you. Letting minorities celebrate isn’t shaming the majority and I think the majority should calm down.

This is not about me, it's about the category I fall into. :) I just feel that if the minority can celebrate, why can't the majority? There shouldn't be anything "special" about any categorization. Either everyone can celebrate (for the right reasons, mind you, don't be hating) or it's such a non-issue that no one needs to celebrate (I prefer the latter).
 
Re: What The Fark 5: I Can't Believe This Happened!

Can we please stop saying the "majority"? Straight (90%) white (75%; 16%) males (49%) are about 33% of the US population and 7% of the world population. We only seem like the "default" because we have all the money and power.
 
Re: What The Fark 5: I Can't Believe This Happened!

Can we please stop saying the "majority"? Straight (90%) white (75%; 16%) males (49%) are about 33% of the US population and 7% of the world population. We only seem like the "default" because we have all the money and power.

It's a good point, but money and power do rule the world, making that faction a majority in a sense.
 
Re: What The Fark 5: I Can't Believe This Happened!

This is not about me, it's about the category I fall into. :) I just feel that if the minority can celebrate, why can't the majority? There shouldn't be anything "special" about any categorization. Either everyone can celebrate (for the right reasons, mind you, don't be hating) or it's such a non-issue that no one needs to celebrate (I prefer the latter).

Do you have any fricking clue at all WHY the minorities are "celebrating." This may be your blindest to reality post yet, and that's a tough competition.
 
Re: What The Fark 5: I Can't Believe This Happened!

This is not about me, it's about the category I fall into. :)

They're still not being shamed, which is the point she was making that you ignored. Scooby already posted this elsewhere but:

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">me explaining to my boyfriend why we’re going to straight pride <a href="https://t.co/ZtXpLaV05s">pic.twitter.com/ZtXpLaV05s</a></p>— Eva Victor (@evaandheriud) <a href="https://twitter.com/evaandheriud/status/1136019996436508673?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 4, 2019</a></blockquote>
<script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>
 
Re: What The Fark 5: I Can't Believe This Happened!

They're still not being shamed, which is the point she was making that you ignored. Scooby already posted this elsewhere but:

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">me explaining to my boyfriend why we’re going to straight pride <a href="https://t.co/ZtXpLaV05s">pic.twitter.com/ZtXpLaV05s</a></p>— Eva Victor (@evaandheriud) <a href="https://twitter.com/evaandheriud/status/1136019996436508673?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 4, 2019</a></blockquote>
<script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

Was I rude with Brent? yes.

But Brent should be thanking his deity that he doesn't NEED a Straight Pride.

LGBT are powerless in this society. We're frustrated. We're angry. We're scared, if not terrified. And when you're powerless, all you can do is get angry. "if we don't vent our frustration, we're gonna blow a 50 amp fuse." All we can do right now is yell and scream and hope like hell someone hears us. We will have our marches and rallies. We will get on the internet and yell to a wide audience.
 
Was I rude with Brent? yes.

But Brent should be thanking his deity that he doesn't NEED a Straight Pride.

LGBT are powerless in this society. We're frustrated. We're angry. We're scared, if not terrified. And when you're powerless, all you can do is get angry. "if we don't vent our frustration, we're gonna blow a 50 amp fuse." All we can do right now is yell and scream and hope like hell someone hears us. We will have our marches and rallies. We will get on the internet and yell to a wide audience.

As a woman, I get it. No straight male should feel threatened or lesser by any pride events and if they do, they have serious questions to ask themself.
 
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