What's new
By:
USCHO Fan Forum

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

  • The USCHO Fan Forum has migrated to a new plaform, xenForo. Most of the function of the forum should work in familiar ways. Please note that you can switch between light and dark modes by clicking on the gear icon in the upper right of the main menu bar. We are hoping that this new platform will prove to be faster and more reliable. Please feel free to explore its features.

UND at SCSU: Which goon will cheap shot Marvin first?

Re: UND at SCSU: Which goon will cheap shot Marvin first?

Shock Jock Disclaimer (Note: Some words translated directly by a Chinese dude due to imported parts):

Do not swallow batteries in remote or make you a serious hurt blood stream or make your mind damaged. Please do not product take playing with people who have a weak heart and seem to be out of minds. Don't put Shock Jock into mouth for prevent choking. Don't attach and tie string around neck to play fun with Shock Jock in rough way. Don’t leave remote alone with children under 3 many persons can die. Don't throw remote at players and coaches that make referees confused. Be careful mental parts when using.

Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, disabled, retarded, SCSU fans, players and coaches and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Shock Jock.

Caution: Shock Jock may suddenly heat up and explode at dangerous temperatures – but if worn on hated player or Aaron Marvin never mind. Shock Jock contains liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at. Do not use Shock Jock on your sister, it doesn’t work, you tool. Shock Jock will stick to all types of skin color and surfaces - use accordingly.

Don’t be alarmed if any of the following occurs:

Itching
Vertigo
Dizziness
Tingling in extremities
Loss of balance or coordination
Slurred speech
Temporary blindness
Profuse sweating
Heart palpitations
Whining like a frickin’ baby

If Shock Jock begins to smoke, depending on your mood press “Fry The D*ckhead” once immediately (unless you’re Dirty – then press it continuously), then seek shelter and cover head. When not in use, Shock Jock should be returned to its special tin container, and kept under refrigeration. Failure to do so relieves the makers of Shock Jock, Jockstock Products Incorporated, and its parent company GCW Utd. (Global Chemical Whatever Unlimited), of any and all liability. Ingredients of Shock Jock include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably somewhere near Area 51.
 
Re: UND at SCSU: Which goon will cheap shot Marvin first?

Jockstock said:
Shock Jock Disclaimer (Note: Some words translated directly by a Chinese dude due to imported parts):

Do not swallow batteries in remote or make you a serious hurt blood stream or make your mind damaged. Please do not product take playing with people who have a weak heart and seem to be out of minds. Don't put Shock Jock into mouth for prevent choking. Don't attach and tie string around neck to play fun with Shock Jock in rough way. Don’t leave remote alone with children under 3 many persons can die. Don't throw remote at players and coaches that make referees confused. Be careful mental parts when using.

Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, disabled, retarded, SCSU fans, players and coaches and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Shock Jock.

Caution: Shock Jock may suddenly heat up and explode at dangerous temperatures – but if worn on hated player or Aaron Marvin never mind. Shock Jock contains liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at. Do not use Shock Jock on your sister, it doesn’t work, you tool. Shock Jock will stick to all types of skin color and surfaces - use accordingly.

Don’t be alarmed if any of the following occurs:

Itching
Vertigo
Dizziness
Tingling in extremities
Loss of balance or coordination
Slurred speech
Temporary blindness
Profuse sweating
Heart palpitations
Whining like a frickin’ baby

If Shock Jock begins to smoke, depending on your mood press “Fry The D*ckhead” once immediately (unless you’re Dirty – then press it continuously), then seek shelter and cover head. When not in use, Shock Jock should be returned to its special tin container, and kept under refrigeration. Failure to do so relieves the makers of Shock Jock, Jockstock Products Incorporated, and its parent company GCW Utd. (Global Chemical Whatever Unlimited), of any and all liability. Ingredients of Shock Jock include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably somewhere near Area 51.
Click to expand...

I mean....really? yawn
 
Re: UND at SCSU: Which goon will cheap shot Marvin first?

First Time said:
Is he the martyr or is he trying to make Genoway one, I can't tell. :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
(just for you tPOV :))
Click to expand...

Congratulations you failed at being a smart a**. Go back into your ugly mother's stink box and start over.
 
Re: UND at SCSU: Which goon will cheap shot Marvin first?

dogs2012 said:
I don't really understand why St. Cloud fans are even arguing this Marvin point. Sure, it was a dirty hit, but it's hockey. I mean, come on Genoway, man up. Just man up.
Click to expand...

Are you that stupid or are you trying real hard here? I'll skate full speed into your neck pr*ckhead and you see how it feels. Man up.:rolleyes::D Get your head out your a** for once and try to follow along because you know nothing about this game nitwit.
 
Re: UND at SCSU: Which goon will cheap shot Marvin first?

Jockstock said:
Are you that stupid or are you trying real hard here? I'll skate full speed into your neck pr*ckhead and you see how it feels. Man up.:rolleyes::D Get your head out your a** for once and try to follow along because you know nothing about this game nitwit.
Click to expand...

Well you already skated full speed at an open net and came out unscathed...except for that trip to the funny farm. Did they loosen your straight jacket during your sponge baths with Big Zeke in the community room?
 
Re: UND at SCSU: Which goon will cheap shot Marvin first?

Wait did I miss something? Was Hirsch actually arguing ...for... a UND player?
 
Re: UND at SCSU: Which goon will cheap shot Marvin first?

First Time said:
Only happens when I'm using a mobile device to post, take a look again. :p
Click to expand...

But when are you gonna fill us with the details on Grandma??? Why only the details on the deceased males?? Grandma deserves better...

And RC and hf1990, my bad, message board not cr. Secret squirrel like in catching that....and this is a kick arse thread, although it has way more than five turnovers...:D
 
Re: UND at SCSU: Which goon will cheap shot Marvin first?

The Jockstock Shock Jock seems to be a derivation of the GGACPDS. Maybe Tyler and I can get an infomercial and sell them together. We'd rake in the dough.

Huskies Sweep
 
Re: UND at SCSU: Which goon will cheap shot Marvin first?

St. Clown said:
UND doesn't think that way.
Click to expand...

Ha! UND is always trying to start fights. Heck, they tried to start a fight with Denver as the Pioneers got off the bus a couple weeks ago.

Huskies Sweep
 
Re: UND at SCSU: Which goon will cheap shot Marvin first?

Sloe Gin said:
fine, I propose something.

I want all St. Cloud fans to admit that what Marvin did was wrong. Cheap, idiotic, stupid, and you want to crucify him. After that, we will get over it.
Click to expand...

Well, 3 out of 4 ain't bad :D

I will admit that what Marvin did was wrong, stupid, goonish, idotic, etc. I will also go on record (again) as saying he deserved more than a 1 game suspension. What is the right number? I don't know, but certainly 1 is not it. Maybe 10?

However, I don't want to crucify Marvin. I've watched 98% of all his home games and fair number of his road games and Marvin is NOT a goon. He made a very bad decision and unfortunately that decision has cost another player a season and maybe more.

I also don't expect the Sioux fans to "get over it". There is nothing wrong with holding a bit of a grudge over it. If I were a Sioux fan I would hope like heck that my squad would get in some very good, hard, and clean hits over the weekend.
 
Re: UND at SCSU: Which goon will cheap shot Marvin first?

Jockstock said:
After playing hockey against frickin' boneheads like Marvin, I decided something needs to done! Finally after several months of tedious tinkering the solution is finally here. You're in for a real treat. I'd like to take this opportunity right here on USCHO to introduce my newest invention called the Shock Jock.

Here's how it works: Using the remote, a disgruntled fan (i.e. Dirty) adjusts the voltage (max. 35V, *40V usually kills - only available to Dirty) on the "Wang Bang" button, then sets the hi-tech "Toast His Kickstand" timer button and then finally presses the "Fry The D*ckhead" button to send the signal. This action will send a powerful microwave signal to the electrode inside the amazing and patented Shock Jock. The electrode then sends the voltage charge into the idiot's one eyed monster causing severe pain and a burning sensation for the specified period.

Now here's the rub! It can be used anytime during the game as many times as you like! And that's not all! When a fan becomes deranged and crackbrained, he can press the "Weld His Jack In The Box" button and the patented Shock Jock heats up to a temperature of 150 degrees F and just like that! - it welds itself to the bonehead's fag bag. Then the Shock Jock can be used during and AFTER the game as well!!! Think of all the FUN you and your friends will have zapping your most hated player's willy at ALL hours of the night. He won't be able to sleep a wink and he'll be whining for mommy like a dopey St. Cloud fan.

And here's the best part, as an introductory offer here on USCHO I'm able to make the amazing Shock Jock available here and now for only $19.95! That's right I said $19.95, are you frickin' deaf? It's a frickin' steal considering I worked my a** off on this thing a few Saturday's ago.

Now I know what your thinking! How I am I going to get the amazing Shock Jock into the players crotch? Simple! For an additional $9.95 we'll print a name brand like Nike on it, ship it FedEx, explain it's a new brand name product that he and Sidney Crosby have been chosen to try out and the tell the frickin' bonehead he will get a load of cash if he wears it (*not applicable to Minnesota Golden Gopher players and coaches). Duh! Don't worry most squirrel brains like Marvin will do it.

ShockJockcopy.jpg


Note: Actual size for Marvin's Mr. Winkie (demonstration only)

ShockJockRemote1jpg.gif


Send your check or money order to:

Love Shock Jock
666 Dirtypants Lane
Big Bonelicks, Kentucky 28399

But wait there's MORE!!! If you act within the next 7 days I'll throw in a beautiful Shock Jock T for FREE!!! That's right I said FREE, Dumba**.:rolleyes:

LoveShockJockTcopy.jpg


DON'T WAIT!!! GET YOUR OWN SHOCK JOCK FOR THE NEXT SERIES AND BURN BABY BURN!
Click to expand...

Best post of this thread, that's not saying much but I think it would get best post on most threads this week too bad it had to be wasted on the Genoway/Marvin dirty tampon thread.
Nice invention and user guide Jockstock.
 
Re: UND at SCSU: Which goon will cheap shot Marvin first?

My favorite UND "cheapshot" is the Geoff Paukovitch (the deutsche bag who broke Bina's neck) incident. This event triggered two defining moments in WCHA hockey 1. the birth of the real dasher monkey 2. the changing of the name sherwood to surewood.:D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilwpXOQIjHc
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top