Re: TV: The League Of Anarchy Is A Bunch Of Justified Mad Men
The Bachelor is back in January. I know several of you will be looking forward to my episode reviews...
Here's a
quick roster of the quim about to be ritually sacrificed on the altar of True Love. Actually, this year's bachelor is a super-duper-Christian hayseed so I expect the long game will be not to drop your drawers. Baby Jesus wouldn't like that, no siree bob.
Looking over the lineup, a few tendencies have been exaggerated from prior seasons:
1. They're no longer even pretending the women have a thimbleful of intelligence. Cosmetic designers dot the landscape. The closest these girls will ever come to a degree is an MRS, and they seem perfectly fine with that. Hey, the world needs hood ornaments, too.
2. It may just be the camerawork, but there is a much larger percentage of dangerously underweight talent. Is bulimia still a thing? The poor dears are definitely taking their nutritional advice from Poor Body Image Weekly.
3. Blonde bimbo beach party! Well more than a third (12) are full-on
sandy, wheat, or swedish, with another 3 or 4 somewhere in the honey-ish borderlands.
4. No tokens. Every year there are one or two black bachelorettes. The rule is you can't kill them first or you're a racist, so they usually linger until the third or so cut. This year, with maybe one exception (hard to tell with lighting), it's as lily white as a Republican fundraiser.
Other than that it's the usual mess of ex-cheerleader pottage, one token plus size model (in all honesty the prettiest girl in the group), one token single mom (for the corn-fed middle American broodsows to coo over), and nary a flicker of neural activity among the lot -- just as it should be!