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P
Priceless
Guest
Re: The Rapture is scheduled for May 21!
It would be worth it for Jesus to come back, if only so many of his supporters can see with their own eyes that he's not a white male with blond hair and blue eyes.
Now would be a bad time for him to return anyway, as he'd probably get a one way ticket to Gitmo for his troubles.
It would be worth it for Jesus to come back, if only so many of his supporters can see with their own eyes that he's not a white male with blond hair and blue eyes.
Now would be a bad time for him to return anyway, as he'd probably get a one way ticket to Gitmo for his troubles.
Handyman
Hug someone you care about...
Re: The Rapture is scheduled for May 21!
Not to mention, the look on his face when he tells them they are all screwed because he is saving the Jews...seeing as he was one and never practiced any other faith. Then he will get his revenge on those who slaughtered his people...ya know, everyone else
Bring on the Rapture, the Jews need a break!!
Or if not the Rapture how about:
RAPTOR JESUS!!
Not to mention, the look on his face when he tells them they are all screwed because he is saving the Jews...seeing as he was one and never practiced any other faith. Then he will get his revenge on those who slaughtered his people...ya know, everyone else
Bring on the Rapture, the Jews need a break!!
Or if not the Rapture how about:
RAPTOR JESUS!!
MountieBoyOz
Eater of Worlds
Re: The Rapture is scheduled for May 21!
In the words of a great traveler.
"No! No! No" My TARDIS is not yet finished so I can bolt the planet on May 20.
In the words of a great traveler.
"No! No! No" My TARDIS is not yet finished so I can bolt the planet on May 20.
Re: The Rapture is scheduled for May 21!
Hell, he would have to stand on his head on a pool of water to prove it to most of the wackos, and then stretch a New York Style Thin Crust Pizza to feed all of Chicago.
Re: The Rapture is scheduled for May 21!
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Re: The Rapture is scheduled for May 21!
Nope. King of Diamonds down in Inver Grove Heights.
Nope. King of Diamonds down in Inver Grove Heights.
Re: The Rapture is scheduled for May 21!
Good Lord. I've been to two naughty bars in my life, both not by choice, really (SD's and Deja) and still wouldn't go to KoD.
Good Lord. I've been to two naughty bars in my life, both not by choice, really (SD's and Deja) and still wouldn't go to KoD.
Re: The Rapture is scheduled for May 21!
It's not my first choice either. My buddy Justin lives down in Apple Valley and he likes it. I'd rather go someplace in Minneapolis.
It's not my first choice either. My buddy Justin lives down in Apple Valley and he likes it. I'd rather go someplace in Minneapolis.
Kepler
Cornell Big Red
Re: The Rapture is scheduled for May 21!
Once we get rid of the Raptured the deficit won't be a problem anymore, anyway. The balanced of payments on the Saved is way in the red.
This is just another good secessionist idea.
Once we get rid of the Raptured the deficit won't be a problem anymore, anyway. The balanced of payments on the Saved is way in the red.
This is just another good secessionist idea.
Ralph Baer
Let's Go 'Tute!
Re: The Rapture is scheduled for May 21!
I'll try to be careful if I left something at that time.
aparch
Well-known member
Re: The Rapture is scheduled for May 21!
If it is the modern global time zones, does this now fall under the "Free will, but God knew you were going to do that anyway," clause?
Or are these all questions that the kooks can't answer?
Question about that... is it the 6PM biblical time (set by sundial), or the 6PM based on the time zones initially started by the UK Railroads in 1847 (and later formalized globaly)? Or is everything based off Zulu time?
If it is the modern global time zones, does this now fall under the "Free will, but God knew you were going to do that anyway," clause?
Or are these all questions that the kooks can't answer?
unh_hockey
pain is temporary pride is forever
Re: The Rapture is scheduled for May 21!
Jesus saves, ludacris withdrawals.
Jesus saves, ludacris withdrawals.
P
Priceless
Guest
Re: The Rapture is scheduled for May 21!
I don't think you're supposed to ask
If it's supposed to be earthquakes in each time zone, then what about the people at sea during the Rupture? Is the earthquake going to swallow them? Are they going to be done in by a giant tsunami? What if there's a wave that hits Hawaii because of the earthquake further west and everyone dies before they can be Ruptured? Or will they be miracled up palm trees so they can survive long enough to "go home"?
These are inconvenient questions that you aren't supposed to ask. You're just supposed to be a good mindless drone and get all panicked that you might not be "saved". Odd thing is that usually these kind of scams have an angle so the perpetrators can make money off the True Believers...kind of hard to make coin when you're telling people it's the end of the world. I could see if you worked an Oral Roberts-type scam and said that unless people sent you $20,000,000 God was going to end the world. The people who dreamed this up obviously don't have MBA's
Question about that... is it the 6PM biblical time (set by sundial), or the 6PM based on the time zones initially started by the UK Railroads in 1847 (and later formalized globaly)? Or is everything based off Zulu time?
If it is the modern global time zones, does this now fall under the "Free will, but God knew you were going to do that anyway," clause?
Or are these all questions that the kooks can't answer?
I don't think you're supposed to ask
If it's supposed to be earthquakes in each time zone, then what about the people at sea during the Rupture? Is the earthquake going to swallow them? Are they going to be done in by a giant tsunami? What if there's a wave that hits Hawaii because of the earthquake further west and everyone dies before they can be Ruptured? Or will they be miracled up palm trees so they can survive long enough to "go home"?
These are inconvenient questions that you aren't supposed to ask. You're just supposed to be a good mindless drone and get all panicked that you might not be "saved". Odd thing is that usually these kind of scams have an angle so the perpetrators can make money off the True Believers...kind of hard to make coin when you're telling people it's the end of the world. I could see if you worked an Oral Roberts-type scam and said that unless people sent you $20,000,000 God was going to end the world. The people who dreamed this up obviously don't have MBA's
Kepler
Cornell Big Red
Re: The Rapture is scheduled for May 21!
There are two flavors of derp here. One is just the garden variety con -- like Oral Roberts that you mentioned, Joseph Smith back in the day, the Falwells and Robertsons, and all those guys who just happen to find a Biblical reason to bed their 14-year old sister wives, etc. Charlatans one and all -- they best hope there is no true Last Judgment.
But there is a whole other strain who so desperately wants to be united with (your-divinity-here) that they see signs of the end times everywhere. They aren't in it for the money. They're the ones who would actually be disappointed come The Great Disappointment (except they will immediately readjust, push the date back, and start planning again). Good old Bill Miller himself was one of them. To be filled with a belief so pure and all-consuming must already be heaven. Not a bad meme at all -- better than most, in fact.
There are two flavors of derp here. One is just the garden variety con -- like Oral Roberts that you mentioned, Joseph Smith back in the day, the Falwells and Robertsons, and all those guys who just happen to find a Biblical reason to bed their 14-year old sister wives, etc. Charlatans one and all -- they best hope there is no true Last Judgment.
But there is a whole other strain who so desperately wants to be united with (your-divinity-here) that they see signs of the end times everywhere. They aren't in it for the money. They're the ones who would actually be disappointed come The Great Disappointment (except they will immediately readjust, push the date back, and start planning again). Good old Bill Miller himself was one of them. To be filled with a belief so pure and all-consuming must already be heaven. Not a bad meme at all -- better than most, in fact.
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aparch
Well-known member
Re: The Rapture is scheduled for May 21!
Here's another... what about the Islands of Kiribati? They're located a full day ahead of Hawaii but located further South and EAST of Hawaii.
That's going to suck for Russia too. They get Raptured 10 different times Saturday. China, just once.
So it IS "Free will, but God knew you were going to do it anyway."I don't think you're supposed to ask
If it's supposed to be earthquakes in each time zone, then what about the people at sea during the Rupture? Is the earthquake going to swallow them? Are they going to be done in by a giant tsunami? What if there's a wave that hits Hawaii because of the earthquake further west and everyone dies before they can be Ruptured? Or will they be miracled up palm trees so they can survive long enough to "go home"?
Here's another... what about the Islands of Kiribati? They're located a full day ahead of Hawaii but located further South and EAST of Hawaii.
That's going to suck for Russia too. They get Raptured 10 different times Saturday. China, just once.