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The List for the 2018-19 Season: Episode 1

Re: The List for the 2018-19 Season: Episode 1

Feeling trapped in my apartment is on The List. I've been wanting to get out more since surgery, and it's hard.

Gender dysphoria is on The List. Between my voice, my lack of breasts, and some chest hair... ugh.

Last night too, I started to feel like a terrible burden since surgery. That's on The List too.
 
Re: The List for the 2018-19 Season: Episode 1

My doctor's office is on The List. Yesterday, I was told I could start weight bearing again in small doses, like short walks around the apartment. Today I get a phone call saying the fusion isn't yet complete and no, no weight bearing. Why didn't they take a proper look at the X-Ray and tell me this yesterday?

And I still feel trapped in my apartment.
 
Re: The List for the 2018-19 Season: Episode 1

MissThundercat said:
My doctor's office is on The List. Yesterday, I was told I could start weight bearing again in small doses, like short walks around the apartment. Today I get a phone call saying the fusion isn't yet complete and no, no weight bearing. Why didn't they take a proper look at the X-Ray and tell me this yesterday?
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Like les always says, the entire system is swamped with insurance company red-tape and docs are overworked. That said, it was a dick move to give you hope, they should've told you to wait until they called you with the results.
 
Re: The List for the 2018-19 Season: Episode 1

FadeToBlack&Gold said:
Like les always says, the entire system is swamped with insurance company red-tape and docs are overworked. That said, it was a dick move to give you hope, they should've told you to wait until they called you with the results.
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Last night, I shed the boot for a few minutes and walked from my bed to the bathroom and back. Today, I calmed down enough to send them a message saying something like "had you told me yesterday, I wouldn't have tried to even make that short walk, and I'm not mad, but please understand I'm disappointed."
 
Re: The List for the 2018-19 Season: Episode 1

The good news is tomorrow, I'll hear back from the doctor about what I can and can't do.

Falling into a deep depression is on The List.

People willing to sit with me until it passes are forever on the Anti-List.

Interview with Every Woman's Place (abused/battered women's shelter) for an internship is on The Anti-List.

School starting again September 16 is on The Anti-List. Got a 3.85 GPA in the spring... let's see if I can pump that number up!
 
Re: The List for the 2018-19 Season: Episode 1

Getting a message from the surgeon today saying I CAN put some weight on the foot while wearing the boot is on The Anti-List. basically, I can take short walks in the apartment and stand up. No stairs, no longer distances. Basically, I can try walking in my apartment, but no walking through Meijer.
 
Re: The List for the 2018-19 Season: Episode 1

The fact that Gurth (together with some other good posters) doesn't post here anymore is on the List.
 
Re: The List for the 2018-19 Season: Episode 1

Finding out the chaplain at Tyson may have broken confidence by sharing our (mine and hers) discussions with the new HR manager is very much on The List. We were behind closed doors for those! And if she outed me to him... I am gonna be sick.
 
Re: The List for the 2018-19 Season: Episode 1

Yeah, but you sent an email that could be a possible HR issue. Did you not think HR was going to get involved in some way?

Everything you ever say within the purview of an employer means HR can get involved. And often should be involved. They have no obligation to keep that from HR, and in many scenarios at my company, HR is required to get involved. There is no such thing as confidence when it comes to employer/employer or employee/employee communications. They aren’t your lawyer, they aren’t your spouse, and they aren’t your doctor.
 
Re: The List for the 2018-19 Season: Episode 1

dxmnkd316 said:
Yeah, but you sent an email that could be a possible HR issue. Did you not think HR was going to get involved in some way?

Everything you ever say within the purview of an employer means HR can get involved. And often should be involved. They have no obligation to keep that from HR, and in many scenarios at my company, HR is required to get involved. There is no such thing as confidence when it comes to employer/employer or employee/employee communications. They aren’t your lawyer, they aren’t your spouse, and they aren’t your doctor.
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Okay, I understand that. But right now, I am fearing that she outed me to the new HR manager.
 
Re: The List for the 2018-19 Season: Episode 1

dxmnkd316 said:
Yeah, but you sent an email that could be a possible HR issue. Did you not think HR was going to get involved in some way?

Everything you ever say within the purview of an employer means HR can get involved. And often should be involved. They have no obligation to keep that from HR, and in many scenarios at my company, HR is required to get involved. There is no such thing as confidence when it comes to employer/employer or employee/employee communications. They aren’t your lawyer, they aren’t your spouse, and they aren’t your doctor.
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This. Especially the "required" part. Now, your fellow employees have no right to the info, but in most cases, HR does.
 
Re: The List for the 2018-19 Season: Episode 1

The Rube said:
This. Especially the "required" part. Now, your fellow employees have no right to the info, but in most cases, HR does.
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I just sat thru one of those stupid trainings. They are required to tell. They cannot tell your fellow employees but there are legal implications if they do not go to HR.
 
Re: The List for the 2018-19 Season: Episode 1

leswp1 said:
I just sat thru one of those stupid trainings. They are required to tell. They cannot tell your fellow employees but there are legal implications if they do not go to HR.
Click to expand...

Correct.
 
Re: The List for the 2018-19 Season: Episode 1

MissThundercat said:
Told the new HR manager I was trans.
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That is something you want HR to know. Especially if it’s not a large and diverse workforce. They need this kind of information to protect you and the company. It’s not their responsibility to share it with your coworkers, but it Is their responsibility (and likely your best interest) to share it with HR management. That they know this information means they might have to take extra care to make sure you are protected in the workplace. To better understand how to handle difficult situations.

And honestly, it’s probably not a secret. Especially if you were working there before and after transitioning.
 
Re: The List for the 2018-19 Season: Episode 1

dxmnkd316 said:
That is something you want HR to know. Especially if it’s not a large and diverse workforce. They need this kind of information to protect you and the company. It’s not their responsibility to share it with your coworkers, but it Is their responsibility (and likely your best interest) to share it with HR management. That they know this information means they might have to take extra care to make sure you are protected in the workplace. To better understand how to handle difficult situations.

And honestly, it’s probably not a secret. Especially if you were working there before and after transitioning.
Click to expand...
Yup. If you run into issues (which you already have) HR now has a paper trail/etc to protect you from any harm, and if there is harm, you are due some justice. Prob in the form of monies.
 
Re: The List for the 2018-19 Season: Episode 1

I was thinking more along the lines of “they knew, you have the receipts, and they didn’t protect you per the law.”

That being said, the feds don’t have any protections for trans individuals and I’m guessing Michiganistan doesn’t either.
 
Re: The List for the 2018-19 Season: Episode 1

dxmnkd316 said:
I was thinking more along the lines of “they knew, you have the receipts, and they didn’t protect you per the law.”

That being said, the feds don’t have any protections for trans individuals and I’m guessing Michiganistan doesn’t either.
Click to expand...

Same difference, I suppose. We're thinking along the same lines. It's written down/others know the facts. It's not accused vs accuser's word.
 
Re: The List for the 2018-19 Season: Episode 1

dxmnkd316 said:
I was thinking more along the lines of “they knew, you have the receipts, and they didn’t protect you per the law.”

That being said, the feds don’t have any protections for trans individuals and I’m guessing Michiganistan doesn’t either.
Click to expand...

Michigan doesn't have that policy. However, sexual orientation and gender identity are covered under Tyson's non-discrimination policy. So while I'm fortunate here, a trans sibling of mine works for a place where they find new ways to discriminate against her daily. In fact, she's afraid to have any surgery done because they will fire her.

Here's the thing about outing that I want you to understand: in our community, we want to be the ones to tell our stories, to come out on our own terms, and to come out to the people we want to be out to. Others can't tell my story as good as I can tell it. Example: say I come out to dx, and he and I are walking and run into Brent. I don't want dx saying anything to Brent, as I was planning on telling Brent later at the bowling alley. My fear, and I emphasize that, is that she already told my story for me.
 
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