The Joy of Slang

[thecomicbookguy]

Re: The Joy of Slang

I've heard "close only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades and nuclear weapons."

Yes, that is the newer version of it. I think it works better with just the two alliterative examples, but that might just be me.

 

[Carter]

Re: The Joy of Slang

Along the lines of "Does a bear s**t in the woods" and "Is the Pope Catholic", I had a friend who came up with "Is a five-pound robin fat?"

 

[gmann]

Re: The Joy of Slang

Carpenters are really the innovators of American slang.

Another very common phrase that I haven't seen posted yet.

She's a carpenter's dream (flat as a board, never been nailed).

One of my carpenter friends used to tell me "you pound nails like lightning. You never hit the same place twice."

 

[walrus]

Re: The Joy of Slang

Carpenters are really the innovators of American slang.

Another very common phrase that I haven't seen posted yet.

She's a carpenter's dream (flat as a board, never been nailed).

I thought it was, flat as a board and easy to screw


She's got peanut butter thighs, creamy and easy to spread

 

[FadeToBlack&Gold]

Re: The Joy of Slang

"Someone's going to lose their religion when they try to pull that one out."

I believe that's actually a common phrase in the South, equivalent to saying that someone's going to be angry, go crazy, etc.

 

[SteveP]

Re: The Joy of Slang

She's got peanut butter thighs, creamy and easy to spread

They call her Chiffon -- spreads like buttah!

A batter mired in a slump "couldn't hit water if he fell out of a boat" or "couldn't hit a cow in the ***** with a shovel."

 

[LynahFan]

Re: The Joy of Slang

They call her Chiffon -- spreads like buttah!

A batter mired in a slump "couldn't hit water if he fell out of a boat" or "couldn't hit a cow in the ***** with a shovel."

Heh - true story. We were sailing in the BVIs, and chucking our apple cores overboard. One of my friends went to fling hers, but it slipped out of her hand and ended up going into the dinghy trailing 10 yards behind the boat.

Anyone can miss the ocean when you're standing on a beach, but it takes true talent to miss the ocean when you're on a boat. We've never let her live that down.

 

[Ralph Baer]

Re: The Joy of Slang

"Deaf as a haddock"

"personality of a dead fish"

"close enough for handgrenades in horseshoes" (no idea where that one comes from)

Are you sure that you don't mean "close enough for handgrenades or horseshoes"?

 

[zamboni crash-test dummy]

Re: The Joy of Slang

Along the lines of "Does a bear s**t in the woods" and "Is the Pope Catholic"

I've heard "does the Pope wear a funny hat?"

 

[Kepler]

Re: The Joy of Slang

Heh - true story. We were sailing in the BVIs, and chucking our apple cores overboard. One of my friends went to fling hers, but it slipped out of her hand and ended up going into the dinghy trailing 10 yards behind the boat.

Anyone can miss the ocean when you're standing on a beach, but it takes true talent to miss the ocean when you're on a boat. We've never let her live that down.

You have told this story before. 'Amusing Me' Fail.

 

[goldy_331]

Re: The Joy of Slang

You have told this story before. 'Amusing Me' Fail.

But I didn't read it before so it did amuse me!

 

[gscott13]

Re: The Joy of Slang

Are you sure that you don't mean "close enough for handgrenades or horseshoes"?

i believe the saying is "close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades" referring to scoring a point as the closest shoe to the pin in horseshoes and the kill radius of a hand grenade

edit: clearly didn't continue reading through to see this had been addressed

 

[gscott13]

Re: The Joy of Slang

I thought it was, flat as a board and easy to screw

i've also heard it as "flat as a board and easy to nail"

 

[gscott13]

Re: The Joy of Slang

he/she couldn’t find his way out of a paper bag

He’s/She's/That's about as useful as a third nut

i'm gonna beat him like a red-headed step-child

colder than a witch's teat

busier than a one-armed paper hanger

 

[Kepler]

Re: The Joy of Slang

He’s/She's/That's about as useful as a third nut

Teats on a bull.

 

[Carter]

Re: The Joy of Slang

he/she couldn’t find his way out of a paper bag

He’s/She's/That's about as useful as a third nut

i'm gonna beat him like a red-headed step-child

colder than a witch's teat

busier than a one-armed paper hanger

Colder than a witch's teat in a brass brasier in the middle of February

 

[Carter]

Re: The Joy of Slang

Teats on a bull.

I always heard "Useless as teats on a boar pig."

Also remembered my old neighbor, when grousing about his very rough riding lawn more "It'd shake the nuts out of a bluejay!"

 

[Lady wore Black]

Re: The Joy of Slang

Colder than a witch's teat in a brass brasier in the middle of February

T it-o-meter says it's a t it bit nippily.

 

[Beer Pong Horn]

Re: The Joy of Slang

T it-o-meter says it's a t it bit nippily.

TWIWWP.

 

[leswp1]

Re: The Joy of Slang

One of the greats: "off like a prom dress."

Off like a bride's pajamas

They call her Chiffon -- spreads like buttah!

A batter mired in a slump "couldn't hit water if he fell out of a boat" or "couldn't hit a cow in the ***** with a shovel."

Couldn't stop a beachball

Couldn't hit the side of a barn with a beachball

I've heard "does the Pope wear a funny hat?"

Does the pope wear red slippers