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The Day Your Child Leaves Home, a Brief Love Story

Kepler

Kepler

Cornell Big Red
My daughter left for college today. I am amazed at how heartbreaking it is. She'll only be three hours away. She'll be back for summers. But she is no longer really living with us.

You know you will still be as connected, and of course you are excited (and fidgety worried) that she's at the start of a new adventure, and yet it takes all the wind out of you.

My wife's been crying a little bit on and off for a week, but it didn't get me until this morning when I packed her last things in her car that the patter of feet and the maddeningly terrible music and the dishes piling up to impossible heights will not be there -- time vacuums them up and leaves a void.

Empty Nest Day should be a deliberately celebrated event, with friends giving you presents, or hugs, or sharing their own stories.

It will pass as soon as the next inevitable small life crisis jumps out of its gopher hole, but for now life is flat, still, and sad.
 
Re: The Day Your Child Leaves Home, a Brief Love Story

Don't worry. In four years she'll be out of college, unemployed and wanting to move back in with you. ;)
 
Re: The Day Your Child Leaves Home, a Brief Love Story

Once I was out of the house following my brother, my parents started to travel more.

So to help your depressed situation, it's time for a CRUISE! Or at least vacation to an all inclusive.

Well, assuming you are not sadled with the bills just BECAUSE she left. School can be expensive.
 
Re: The Day Your Child Leaves Home, a Brief Love Story

Go on a trip/cruise and bang the missus for all she's worth. That'll take the edge off. :D
 
Re: The Day Your Child Leaves Home, a Brief Love Story

You don't know true freedom until the kids leave and the dog dies!
 
Re: The Day Your Child Leaves Home, a Brief Love Story

I can't know how you feel as my kids are still in grade school, but it brings me back to conversations I've had with friends with small children through the years and hearing them say things like, "I can't wait until he's 3 so he's potty trained, "I can't wait until he's 6 and in school full time", etc., etc., etc. I've always had the thought of, "Don't wish the time away because soon enough they'll be gone and then...". I love watching the kids grow, progress, play sports, gain friendships, learn this and that, and of course neither one is a teenager yet fully capable of mentally challenging me to maddening ends, but yet even then I hope to still be in love with them being in the home. You can still look forward to seeing them struggle with young adulthood, finally realize one day that mom and dad really aren't so bad, gain a s.o. and hopefully make you a granfather.
 
Re: The Day Your Child Leaves Home, a Brief Love Story

My oldest is a Fr. in HS and I know I will cry like a baby when he goes to college. The first one's "firsts" are hard on me. I cried when he started grade school, I cried when he graduated from grade school last year. Don't rush your kids through your life, enjoy them, do things with them. Your time w/o kids will come soon enough.
 
Re: The Day Your Child Leaves Home, a Brief Love Story

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon....
Sorry for the earworm :D

My oldest is a HS senior and in the process of looking at schools.....next August he will be moving somewhere and I know it will be a strange/exciting/nervous/worrisome/heartbreaking time.
 
Re: The Day Your Child Leaves Home, a Brief Love Story

I'm already worried about this, and my boys are 7, 9 and 11. My wife will be an absolute wreck as well. We're a little attached to the little buggers. Good luck Kepler, is she off to sunny Ithaca?
 
Re: The Day Your Child Leaves Home, a Brief Love Story

MoFan said:
I'm already worried about this, and my boys are 7, 9 and 11. My wife will be an absolute wreck as well. We're a little attached to the little buggers. Good luck Kepler, is she off to sunny Ithaca?
Click to expand...

Salisbury, MD. An hour from Ocean City. She's a lot smarter than I was.
 
Re: The Day Your Child Leaves Home, a Brief Love Story

Slap Shot said:
I can't know how you feel as my kids are still in grade school, but it brings me back to conversations I've had with friends with small children through the years and hearing them say things like, "I can't wait until he's 3 so he's potty trained, "I can't wait until he's 6 and in school full time", etc., etc., etc.
Click to expand...
"Kids. You spend a year trying to get them to walk and talk, and the next 17 telling them to sit down and shut up."
 
Re: The Day Your Child Leaves Home, a Brief Love Story

Timothy A said:
The first one's "firsts" are hard on me.
Click to expand...

Speaking as a 2nd child, this right here is why first borns (and only children) are often self-absorbed a-holes.

And no, I'm not biased. :D

I love my brother, but he got away with **** I never could have. And it'll only continue since he gave my parents their first grandkids, too.
 
Re: The Day Your Child Leaves Home, a Brief Love Story

Slap Shot said:
I can't know how you feel as my kids are still in grade school, but it brings me back to conversations I've had with friends with small children through the years and hearing them say things like, "I can't wait until he's 3 so he's potty trained, "I can't wait until he's 6 and in school full time", etc., etc., etc. I've always had the thought of, "Don't wish the time away because soon enough they'll be gone and then...". I love watching the kids grow, progress, play sports, gain friendships, learn this and that, and of course neither one is a teenager yet fully capable of mentally challenging me to maddening ends, but yet even then I hope to still be in love with them being in the home. You can still look forward to seeing them struggle with young adulthood, finally realize one day that mom and dad really aren't so bad, gain a s.o. and hopefully make you a granfather.
Click to expand...

Professor Henry Jones: You left just when you were becoming interesting.

:)
 
Re: The Day Your Child Leaves Home, a Brief Love Story

Slap Shot said:
I can't know how you feel as my kids are still in grade school, but it brings me back to conversations I've had with friends with small children through the years and hearing them say things like, "I can't wait until he's 3 so he's potty trained, "I can't wait until he's 6 and in school full time", etc., etc., etc. I've always had the thought of, "Don't wish the time away because soon enough they'll be gone and then...". I love watching the kids grow, progress, play sports, gain friendships, learn this and that, and of course neither one is a teenager yet fully capable of mentally challenging me to maddening ends, but yet even then I hope to still be in love with them being in the home. You can still look forward to seeing them struggle with young adulthood, finally realize one day that mom and dad really aren't so bad, gain a s.o. and hopefully make you a granfather.
Click to expand...
This is eloquently said and right on. Mine is a freshman in HS. Not sure how I am going to be. Living thru this first.

unofan said:
Speaking as a 2nd child, this right here is why first borns (and only children) are often self-absorbed a-holes.

And no, I'm not biased. :D

I love my brother, but he got away with **** I never could have. And it'll only continue since he gave my parents their first grandkids, too.
Click to expand...
Ha- in my case they wore down after me. They were much more lax with my brother.
 
Re: The Day Your Child Leaves Home, a Brief Love Story

Kepler,

Thanks for this thread. My eldest -- also a daughter -- is only 10, but I already have hints of the excitement and the sadness of her growing up.

I really like your idea of some kind of "Empty Nest Day." Sort of like a wake: sad and celebratory. I like it! Your kid goes away to college / the armed forces / the big city? Your friends throw you a wake, with whiskey and music and everything.

Say, is your daughter going to be a Sea Gull?

unofan said:
Speaking as a 2nd child, . . . I love my brother, but he got away with **** I never could have.
Click to expand...

Ha! What a crock! Speaking as the eldest, my whole childhood was:

"Mom, Dad, can I walk down the street to Brian's / ride my bike to school / go to a concert?"
"Now son, that's a big responsibility. Maybe next year."
Then, after they finally relented, and I showed I could be trusted to do it, the very next day my little brother -- two full years younger! -- would ask to do the exact same thing. His answer?
"Sure, son, no problem! David, keep an eye on your brother."
TOTALLY. WEAK. :p;)
 
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