Back from fishing. The quick story is fishing was pretty slow, and it was very cold. The new Ice Castle fish house was a big success, but locking my keys in my truck last night was a huge fail.
I realized that I or one of the other three guys locked the doors on the truck about 7:00 PM. How it happened doesn't matter. It just did. I'm thinking, No problem. 2008 Silverado with a fully up to date OnStar subscription. I call OnStar and get someone who is attempting to speak without the accent of their ethnicity. "Mr. Gonzo does your vehicle have a clear view of the southern sky?" Me-"Yes. I'm over five miles out on a frozen lake in Minnesota. There are no clouds either." OnStar - "OK Mr. Gonzo, are there any pets in the truck or is the engine running?" Me - "No". OnStar - "OK, we'll send the signal. Don't touch the door handles until we call you back. We'll call back within ten minutes" Ten minutes later they call back and say that "something" didn't work and they'd be happy to send a service to unlock my vehicle at no charge to me. I explained that they'd be really lucky to A) find a locksmith that will drive out on Mille Lacs and B) find me in the dark. The person on the phone said they get calls from resorts all the time, and they'd find someone who could come to the resort and open my truck. I said "I'm not at a resort. I'm five miles out on the lake. The resort is on the shore." Pause. "Mr. Gonzo can we call you right back?" I say sure. Ten more minutes pass before my phone rings. A manager for OnStar is on the phone, and he isn't even trying to disguise his East Indian accent. "Mr. Gonzo, we have attempted to send a signal to your vehicle three times. We don't know why it isn't working, but we'll send a service to unlock it." I said "OK. Call away" They transfer me to a dispatch division. I ask this new voice "Where are you geographically located?" "North Carolina" I said I hope you can appreciate the novelty of this assignment, and go through the whole "I'm on a frozen lake...." story. He thinks I'm pulling his leg. I restate the scenario and he still doesn't believe me. He gets his boss on the line and he doesn't believe it either. They ask if they can call me back, in ten minutes, of course. I said sure, but this is getting serious since we are not prepared to spend the night in the fish house, we have no real food or water for the four of us. (We were actually running out of beer). 15 minutes later I get a call from a new OnStar guy. He's in Phoenix. Again, no clue. He asks me to stay on the line while he gets the service to join the call and would I explain it to them. The call drops and he calls me back in around ten minutes. He has "Mary" on the line from the local service provider. I say "Mary, where are you located?" Mary - "I'm in Mora"
Mary proceeds to ask me which side of the lake I went out on, which resort, would her guy need to buy a road pass, etc. Mary totally gets it. I told her where we went on, and which road we're on (D). I said the office to buy road passes is closed, but stop in at the bar at the resort and they'll show him on a map approx. where we are.
An hour and a half later, these two guys show up and popped the door open in less than 60 seconds.
Now I just have to find out why I'm paying for an OnStar subscription
