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Religion Thread: We Could Say a Prayer

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Re: Religion Thread: We Could Say a Prayer

And I don't think my Mom and dad were committing child abuse. My Mom was a huge believer, and the Bible does say "train a child in the way they should go, and they won't depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6)

Training your kids to believe the stuff you believe is fairly unavoidable. Especially when it comes to religion parents not only believe they have a right to do it, they believe they have a duty to do it because of {MAN IN SKY SILLINESS}. Even if we gave every parent a PhD education in history, psychology, and comparative religion, most of them would still pass on their superstitions and prejudices in the same way they pass on their language.

But, again. I don't worry that much about it. Take bigotry as the classic example. Each generation begins by passing down their bigotries. The dumb kids retain them and the smart kids reject them assuming there is some counter-narrative available to them, typically because of personal experience. So, the wave of tolerance proceeds slowly. Most people are over being anti-Irish or anti-Italian. Things get dicier with racism and misogyny, even worse with homophobia, even worse with transphobia. But eventually these bigotries will die out. The Bible is always hijacked by dummies to protect their bigotries, and there is always enough stupid scripture available to back them, so in general conservative religion is the last bulwark of bigotry while progressive religion is often a leading edge in its slaying.

Eventually the bigots simply die without passing their idiocy on. That's how we got rid of widespread religious bigotry and it's how we got rid of racism in the educated classes, and it's how we'll get rid of misogyny and homophobia and transphobia eventually. The carriers are usually incapable of adaptation but they run out of clock time. Humanity improves itself via death.

So your parents passed their religion to you because they thought it was Essential To Your Immortal Soul or some other fairy tale, but it didn't irreparably harm you. There you stand, a living rebuttal to the idiocy of conservative religion. You'll call your religion a natural outgrowth of theirs and be on your way, and they can't argue with you. At least, not for long. No doubt they did exactly the same thing with respect to their parents, and so on back to the first sun god.

It all works out on a long enough timeline. Religion itself will never die because it serves a useful purpose for many people. But religion is constantly changing (Fundies are morons for not realizing this) because it is just another language: it's an arbitrary human invented tool to serve a purpose, and since its landscape is always changing it is always changing. Christianity in 500 years will be uniformally tolerant of all sexuality for the same reason that religion now no longer practices human sacrifice. The atavisms no longer serve any useful human purpose and die off.

Jesus himself will be an atavism someday, like Akhenaten or Zoroaster, once humanity progresses beyond his words. But judging from the gap between the Gospels and how the people who invoke him actually act, that won't be for a long, long time yet.
 
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Re: Religion Thread: We Could Say a Prayer

Training your kids to believe the stuff you believe is fairly unavoidable.

It is arguably the entire point of parenting to make your spawn think and act like you do. Hence why 45+% of the country still votes Republican.
 
Re: Religion Thread: We Could Say a Prayer

It is arguably the entire point of parenting to make your spawn think and act like you do. Hence why 45+% of the country still votes Republican.

I think the point of parenting is to instill in your children:

1. love
2. curiosity
3. generosity
4. confidence

Roughly in that order.

When Dr. Mrs. and I talked to our daughter about normative values we taught her that there are basic values that are universal in functioning human beings and societies and beyond that people have found millions of different rule sets to achieve those and she will find her own. We certainly demonstrated what we did, for good or ill, just by acting in her presence. When she asked for guidance or needed boundaries (whether she knew it or not) we supplied them, but it was never "you must do this or you are bad."

In any case, 99.9% of morality is "well how would you feel if she did that to you?" And any child above the age of 6 understands that in all its nuances.

Children need structure and they soak everything up like a sponge. They need comfort and rules to give them confidence they are not going to be hurt or disappoint people. They need a ton of emotional support getting over the trillion and one irritating discoveries of life (I am not the center of the universe, other people who I like are very different and unpredictable, trust can hurt, loved ones disappoint you sometimes, etc).

Morality is just another form of learning. What you are teaching is not a catechism to memorize -- that's the opposite of learning. A parent is teaching the child the ability to sift experience for herself and come to her own knowledge -- often new knowledge beyond her parents. Because her life won't be ours. Our truths are right for us because of our paths. Her path is already different and diverging more every second.

You don't make your child memorize a street map. You teach her to drive.
 
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Re: Religion Thread: We Could Say a Prayer

So yes, my parents were doing what they thought was right. After awhile, I couldn't keep up with it. And as for that church, when I started going "why the hell am I even here," they started telling me in essence "you can't give up hope just because it's hopeless!" Then again, that church was also spewing anti-LGBT nonsense from the pulpit, so I knew I wasn't going to be there much longer.

Grace Episcopal took a different approach. Instead of trying to pull me in the door right away, Jen listened and understood my pain. She wasn't trying to evangelize, neither were the two Episcopalians I met two weeks prior. They were out to listen to me and find out why I had given up. It's now August 2019, and I've been going there since 12/31/2017. It's great to be at a church where I hear "we love our girl and want the best for her. We're really happy to see her grow into her role and smile."
 
Re: Religion Thread: We Could Say a Prayer

I think the point of parenting is to instill in your children:

1. love
2. curiosity
3. generosity
4. confidence

Those are merely your values. In Dumpistan they teach homogeneity, respect for authority (unless that authority isn't "one of us"), religion, and that fighting/anger is confidence.
 
Re: Religion Thread: We Could Say a Prayer

Those are merely your values. In Dumpistan they teach homogeneity, respect for authority (unless that authority isn't "one of us"), religion, and that fighting/anger is confidence.

In the heart of Dumpistan, it is one word: ME.
 
Re: Religion Thread: We Could Say a Prayer

Those are merely your values. In Dumpistan they teach homogeneity, respect for authority (unless that authority isn't "one of us"), religion, and that fighting/anger is confidence.

I was discussing raising human children.
 
Re: Religion Thread: We Could Say a Prayer

“You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.”- Anne Lamott

And that's what I'm doing right now with my book. On a section about my history in the church, it's going to be raw and ugly.
 
Re: Religion Thread: We Could Say a Prayer

“You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.”- Anne Lamott

And that's what I'm doing right now with my book. On a section about my history in the church, it's going to be raw and ugly.

For example...
But I sensed something was up with the so-called “men” (they were males at least) in 2008. In June 2008, I was at a housewarming party for a lovely couple in the church. I was enjoying myself, and at the end of the night, it was time to go home. It was only a few blocks away, so I started walking. Todd rolls up and offers me a ride home. I get in, and we start talking. Todd knew I was in spiritual counseling with Penelope, and he tried to talk me into dumping Penelope as a counselor. This didn’t set well with me at all, and when I got home, I sent a message to Penelope, warning her about Todd’s antics. I didn’t have to say anything after that, because I believe she read him the riot act (in a modest, Christian way).

In July 2008, I was falling into an eating disorder (more about this later). Todd threw a birthday party for his daughter, and the church was invited. I had taken what I wanted in terms of savory food, and I wanted a bit of dessert. He was serving ice cream, and I requested a mere scoop. I didn’t want that much, and the ******* gave me three scoops. Too scared to say anything, I slunk back to a seat and wondered what to do. Sharri, bless her soul, came over and told me just to throw it away. She sensed I didn’t want to eat that much, and she knew I was going through something hard. Thanking her profusely, I walked over to a trash can and threw all the ice cream away. At this point, I started staying away from Todd.

Later that year, the “men” (and I use that term loosely) and I all went on the Men’s Retreat at Cran-Hill Ranch. They were having a good time. Meanwhile, mired in an eating disorder and missing my running, I was miserable. While they were gorging themselves, I was taking bare amounts of food and crying in a bathroom because I couldn’t bring myself to eat a single portion of Chex Mix. Of course, they noticed this and started mocking me. At that point, I wanted to go home.
 
Re: Religion Thread: We Could Say a Prayer

So wait. Right wing Christians can deus ex machina practically anything: "I got all green lights on my way home from work because God." Or "I had just enough sugar to make brownies today because God."

However, I haven't met one (and never will) that can say "evolution and Origin of the Species because God." It's always "just a theory."
 
So wait. Right wing Christians can deus ex machina practically anything: "I got all green lights on my way home from work because God." Or "I had just enough sugar to make brownies today because God."

However, I haven't met one (and never will) that can say "evolution and Origin of the Species because God." It's always "just a theory."

🖐
God set the rules. And it plays out according to the rules.
 
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