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Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

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Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Saw it on a local signboard on my way home last night:

"It was foggy yesterday. I tried to catch some, but I mist."
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Saw this a while back while traveling through the Adirondacks-on the back of a big truck from a septic tank cleaning company-"Your Number 2 is Our Number 1"
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

DrDemento said:
Saw this a while back while traveling through the Adirondacks-on the back of a big truck from a septic tank cleaning company-"Your Number 2 is Our Number 1"
Click to expand...
Must be something about that region. The truck that pumped my septic tank in Vermont read, "We're #1 in the #2 Business."
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

When chemists die, they barium.


Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher fired from the local elementary school? She was let go because she couldn't control her pupils.
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Did someone notable really just declare war on violence?? :rolleyes:

i suppose that's an oxymoron more than a pun, though.....
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

PMS jokes aren't funny, period!



(Who we kidding, yes they are..)
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Broken pencils are pointless...


or how about


Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with battery.
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Not a pun, but

A movie theater was robbed of $254 last night. The thief took a bag of popcorn, a combo meal, and a large drink.
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent..

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

If Homer Simpson took up a martial art, what would it be? Tae Kwon D'OOOHHH!!

She criticized my apartment, so I knocked her flat.

Sticks float. I thought they would.
 
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Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

A man walked into a bar holding part of a tree branch over his head.

"This is a stick up!" he shouted. :eek:
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

The last four posted are a bunch of groaners-but they had me smiling quite a bit. Bravo!!!
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

NEWI Badger Fan said:
The blonde stayed up all night wondering where the sun went.....then it finally dawned on her.
Click to expand...

Not quite a pun....still....

A blind man in a bar started to tell a joke about blondes. The bartender said, "wait a minute fella, before you get started....the lady next to you, she's a blonde, and she was a judo champion in college. and the woman next to her, she's a blonde too, and she is training for her UFC debut. On your other side, there's another blonde, and she is a police officer. Next to her is another blonde, who works in the State Corrections Department. and I'm a blonde too, and I'm the one you trust to serve you what you order."

"Now that you know all that, are you sure you want to tell that joke?"

The man calmly replies, "Not if I'm going to have to explain it five times, no." :)
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

So after getting a physical, I'd be just fine if I dropped dead tomorrow. I will have died in good health. ;)
 
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