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Really Terrible Puns, v 10

Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

I know of someone who once worked in his family business: they ran funeral homes. he had to leave, though, too many plots.
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

I was robbed recently. They took everything except my soap, deodorant, shower gels, and towels. Dirty thieves.
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

A Mexican magician says he can make himself disappear on the count of three. "Uno, dos..." *poof*

He disappeared without a tres.
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

"I was once anti-biotic. But lately I've been more pro-biotic after reading more about their culture."- Neil deGrasse Tyson
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

On the train, there are ads encouraging people to buy diamonds to give as presents.

One of them originally said "FOR THE MILESTONES IN YOUR LIFE" (the ad was all upper-case, essential to the joke).

Someone had whited out the upper two horizontal strokes in the first "E" so it read as a second "L" instead....
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

Arnold Schwarzenegger went in to audition for a movie about classical composers. He had to leave, but he really wanted the role, so he told producers "I'll be Bach."
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

Arnold Schwarzenegger went in to audition for a movie about classical composers. He had to leave, but he really wanted the role, so he told producers "I'll be Bach."

after a pun like that, you should be Haydn your face.
 
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