Really Terrible Puns, v 10

[FreshFish]

Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

Email address protocols and file-naming protocols also have some unintended consequences.

Like, first three letters of surname followed by first initial of given name....

Terri Cunningham was really offended. So was Tanya Sluman.

Karl Fuchs was merely amused, as was Paul Cramer.

 

[MissThundercat]

Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

 

[joecct]

Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

Here's a list of 20

http://www.thefederalistpapers.org/us/20-jokes-only-smart-people-will-understand

 

[FreshFish]

Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

At first I thought he was a racist homophobic misogynist, but then I realized he was just an equal-opportunity misanthrope.

 

[FreshFish]

Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

Here's a list of 20

http://www.thefederalistpapers.org/us/20-jokes-only-smart-people-will-understand

#5 is classic.

 

[jericho]

Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

Why couldn't the chameleon change color?

He had a reptile dysfunction.

 

[MissThundercat]

Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?

Because the P is silent.

 

[MissThundercat]

Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

Why don't cats eat clocks?

Because it can be very time consuming.

 

[FreshFish]

Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

I couldn't find the "joke" thread....

Please forgive a political joke, this particular one I actually laughed out loud...

A man went into a Muslim bookstore and started browsing. The store owner asked if he could help.

"I'm looking for the book by Donald Trump about all the problems caused by Muslim immigrants."

The store owner was upset: "Get the f&ck out of here and never come back!"

The man replied, "yes, that's the one! Do you have a paperback version?"

 

[FreshFish]

Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

Who replies to rhetorical questions, anyway?

 

[wolverineTrumpet]

Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

Who replies to rhetorical questions, anyway?

Me. As an arrogant Michigan alumna and egotistical trumpet player, I feel the need to share my knowledge with the world, even if no one wanted the answer.

You're welcome.

 

[jericho]

Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

What kind of diagram do you use to cross breed bad plays on words?

A Punnett Square.

 

[wolverineTrumpet]

Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocaine during a root canal? He was practicing transcend dental medication.

 

[FreshFish]

Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

People have been wondering whether the Vice-President is going to run for President or not.

He seems in no hurry to make a decision; I guess he is bidin' his time.

 

[Tiggsy]

Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

Who replies to rhetorical questions, anyway?

But what would the world be like with no rhetorical questions?

 

[goldy_331]

Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

A motorcycle gang made up of ancient bisexual Norse monarchs. The Bikings.

 

[Tiggsy]

Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

A roman walks into a bar, holds up 2 fingers and says, "I'd like five beers please."



I may have posted this one before, but I don't care. Still funny IMHO.

 

[joecct]

Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

A roman walks into a bar, holds up 2 fingers and says, "I'd like five beers please."



I may have posted this one before, but I don't care. Still funny IMHO.

And a martinus instead of a martini.

Rinse the Blood off My Toga

 

[jericho]

Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

What do you call a Knight who runs around in circles?

Circumference.

 

[joecct]

Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

@just-shower-thoughts

If “womb” is pronounced “woom” and “tomb” is pronounced “toom”, shouldn’t “bomb” be pronounced “boom”?