Re: Movies! The Last Jedi: Ragnarok
Please pardon this lame and overly emotional rant, but as a fan of this series I need to voice my frustrations. There will be some spoilers but trust me I am saving you:
Alien: Covenant. I am an unabashed fan of he Alien films...even the really awful ones. I grew up watching Alien and Aliens every time they were on TV. I forgive almost every trespass...even the plot hole laden Prometheus. (I wont lie never saw the second AvP because I didnt see the point) I wanted this movie made to answer the questions, I was even prepared to like it after it tanked the bed in theaters...
And then I saw it. This is by far one of the worst films I have seen in some time. (I didnt hate it as much as he Ghostbusters reboot but man it was close!) This movie should have never been made. This is Episode: 1 level stupid and the parallels are actually quite striking. In Ridley Scott's narcissistic need to explain every detail and make everything line up and cyclical he made a film that literally crapped all over everything that was great about the original Alien. (warning again...spoilers coming) First of all, the entire purpose of Prometheus is now done. We were supposed to learn about the Engineer, how he came to be flying a ship full of alien eggs that lead to the events in Alien. We meet the Engineer in Prometheus, David and Dr. Shaw fly to his home world to learn why he did what he did and this was supposed to be the pay off. Nope. Instead we find out David destroyed them all with the Xenomorph pathogen. (dont even get me started on the stupidity of that crap. Even the Medichlorians are rolling their eyes) If they are all dead, how did one crash land on LB426 after implantation? Nice job Ridley...
Ah but it gets better! You see in Scott's need to out Lucas Lucas he then has to find a reason for David to still exist. Since David is evil we need to know just how evil he is. Not only did he destroy the very creators he was designed to find and communicate with but he spends ten years cultivating the Xenomorph pathogen (seriously...why Ridley) and it is the "synthetic" who turns them into the killing machines that they become. That is right just like Darth Vader created C3PO David created the Alien that kills off the crew in Alien. It also kills off the Engineer, who is already dead thanks to David so somewhere Doc Brown is screaming about Time Paradoxes!
So thanks to Ridley now not only are the Aliens not some super race of beings that evolved over centuries to become the perfect killing machines (they are test tube babies hooray!!) but the very mystery the prequels were supposed to answer (who is The Engineer, where did he come from and how did the eggs come to be aboard his ship) dont even matter anymore. The entire story of Alien is a worthless mess now. These prequels ruined the original movies just like Lucas did.
The movie gets an F. Negative 4 stars. Not worth the money I paid and I watched it for free on a flight. Ridley Scott should be ashamed he didnt even try. He took a few bits from other films to try and make for some nostalgia (hey look the strong woman blew the alien out the air lock!! Oh they are running in the ship all scared!!) but even that couldnt save this craptastic piece of garbage. When you have Michael Fassbender playing 2 parts (cause he cant suck enough in just 1!) you know you are in for trouble.
Dont see it, dont read about, ignore it like it is Godfather 3.
I feel better now
