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Hockey East: Rookie of the Weak

SteveF

SteveF

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As part of our efforts to provide you all with exciting and fresh content; and thus improve this hokydad infested board. We will continue to highlight the hilarious differences between the college hockey elite and the college hockey illiterate, by renewing a too long forgotten tradition of celebrating the mediocrity amongst the over-hyped freshman classes that have infected our great league.

We have no doubt that many, ok... some, of these kids try very hard. But by turning down their wcha scholarships and burger flipping futures, they have chosen to play, and fail, in a vastly more competitive league. In doing so, they have exposed themselves to such ridicule; and it is in that vain, we honor their non-achievements.

The weekly awards will be handed out on a 'three stars' basis. These infamous public shamings will be worth 1, 3, and 5 points for the number 3, 2, and 1 star, respectively. At the end of the year, the cumulative points leader will be awarded the famed caron cup - in honor of all-time bust eddie 'lead foot' caron.
 
Re: Hockey East: Rookie of the Weak

without further ado, your week one winners...

Third star (1 point):
5622447.jpeg

Yasin Cisse - F, BU - While many a bu forward, young and old, were generating premature hysteria by breaking ice against subpar competition in St Louis, Mr Cisse was nowhere to be found, presumably off breaking ice packs after his early retreat to the lockerroom for ankle rubs and orange slices. lest we chalk this up to an isolated incident, prior to his time at bu while some other recruits were skyrocketing up NHL draft boards, cisse was off driving up the stock price of band-aids. He is currently a long shot for the caron cup; but he most certainly is the front runner for the carl pavano of hockey east award.

Second star (3 points):
5769805.jpeg

Jeff Teglia - G, UMA - Every year, countless optimistic coaches venture into the USHL in hopes of finding a stalwart goalie to backstop their program for years to come. And how can you blame them? Every so often, a lucky coach will stumble across a Parker Milner who will parlay a 2.90 ushl GAA into an impressive 10-2-1, 2.3 GAA, and .909 save % campaign. One of those coaches was not umass coach, don cahoon. When he saw 28 wins, a 2.34 GAA, and a .919 save % on the resume of one Jeff Teglia, he probably tooted a brick. However, after one weekend of action, cahoon might be asking the ushl for a mulligan after Teglia did his best jonathon papplebon impression by allowing 4 goals in relief of paul dainton part way through game 2 vs minnesota.

First star (5 points):
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Doug Carr - G, UML - They say most cars depreciate 60% the minute you get them home, and that is evidently true in this case as well. But since every cloud has a silver lining... we think....we will find it. So while we cant think of too many coaches who would love to have recruited our silver star winner, Jeff Teglia; one coach who would most definitely qualify is Blaise Macdonald. His post-Hutton era is off to a rocky start after CJHL wunderkid, Doug Carr, imploded against Maine to the tune of a 12.00 GAA and a .750 save % in the first 20 minutes. In fact, one of the goals may have actually impregnated Carr since he missed his next two periods. This Carr might already need a trade in. While he may struggle at first without a quality mentor in Nevin Hamilton, we would like to let him know that Nevin can always be found on the next episode of *cops*
 
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Re: Hockey East: Rookie of the Weak

I'm guessing you side-stepped the obvious Blaise/Carr/DWI joke in keeping with the spirit of bringing in fresh material. Good idea, but that one pretty much writes itself.
 
Re: Hockey East: Rookie of the Weak

Why do I get the feeling there won't be any BC players chosen this season?
 
Re: Hockey East: Rookie of the Weak

SteveF said:
because you are fat and stupid?
Click to expand...

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Re: Hockey East: Rookie of the Weak

unbelievable

next will be a serious defense of cisse

lighten up! (or do your own)
 
Re: Hockey East: Rookie of the Weak

J.D. said:
unbelievable

next will be a serious defense of cisse

lighten up! (or do your own)
Click to expand...

I get it. It's a joke. That's why there won't be any Eagles on the list.
 
Re: Hockey East: Rookie of the Weak

At least the pinheads were somewhat fair about submitting an occasional BC player.

How first-round draft pick and wunderkind BC freshman Kevin Hayes doesn't take "honors" with no points and only one shot is beyond me! :cool:

Out of all of BU's freshman, if the worst that can be dredged up is that he got injured, that's fine by me.
 
Re: Hockey East: Rookie of the Weak

Brian Gentry said:
At least the pinheads were somewhat fair about submitting an occasional BC player.

How first-round draft pick and wunderkind BC freshman Kevin Hayes doesn't take "honors" with no points and only one shot is beyond me! :cool:

Out of all of BU's freshman, if the worst that can be dredged up is that he got injured, that's fine by me.
Click to expand...

Because that one shot was awesome!!!11!!!!!111!!
 
Re: Hockey East: Rookie of the Weak

SteveF said:
In fact, one of the goals may have actually impregnated Carr since he missed his next two periods.
Click to expand...

Best line evah! Looking forward to Next Weak!

Maybe you could keep a cummulative score for individual schools or coaches. That could also be interesting come March!
 
Re: Hockey East: Rookie of the Weak

Slasher7 said:
Come on, this crap is funny stuff. No one takes it seriously (kind of like the way we dont take Maine hockey seriously either)...
Click to expand...

Oh, I see what you did there. Leave the jokes to the professionals.
 
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