Hockey 101

[thirdtime's . . .]

Seven elementary questions for "the silly season”

1. Why do a handful of players excel in the face-off circle, or at least turn randomness into probability, winning puck possession more often than not? Something other than mere sheer quickness must be at play.

2. Why do players who lose their sticks in the D zone when at full strength not retrieve them immediately instead of move about woodenly like table hockey figures? Even the worst performing PKs usually survive two minutes when down a player, so why not take five seconds to play pick-up-stix and return to full defending mode instead of voluntarily creating an indefinite length semi-PK? This goes doubly for the goalie, who is left at the mercy of her teammates to end her vulnerability. My guess is that statistics kept on goals against while stickless (GAWS) would end this practice, but it's obviously well ingrained in the game.

3. Is there a sport with more chill coaches at crunch time? MJ has retired the Pillar of Salt award, but Nadine herself is often mute without her whiteboard, even in the FF. This composure under fire characterizes the women's game as a whole, the antithesis of the standard histrionics of bouncyball coaches. Hockey is a uniquely intense game, and coaches seem to respect that intensity by letting backing-off be their default behavior.

4. What do the linesmen chat about when they skate over to hang with the goalie during a game delay? Does the goalie ever want them to just go away?

5. Does anyone just like to hear certain names jumping into the play: Serdachny (who sounds imposing even before stepping out on the ice), Jungels, Northeastern’s Constantinople!

6. Is the women's off-season the longest in all of sportsdom?

7. When does Timothy A sleep?


Of course there are more existential questions like “Are the portal and NILs killing the women’s game?” but they can wait until the fall. Thanks for visiting. lol

 

[Lindsay]

#3 MJ and Muzerall have both had moments of chill that have stood out to me. Muzerall was once asked (years ago) what she tells her players on the bench and she talked about whispering encouragement to them, trying to keep them calm and believing in themselves. MJ always talks about process and “if you all come to the game and play your best we have an opportunity to win.” Great framing in my opinion that removes some stress and eliminates the need for some yelling. Some yelling (not abuse) is needed towards certain people at certain times. And sometimes emotion just comes over even the chillest. There was a general “what the f*ck?? “ by MJ caught on camera when their was a delay in dropping the puck in the final seconds of the 2023 natty. I thought, wow he does get riled up sometimes.

 

[Timothy A]

Lots of great discussion items! I don't know where to start.........other than yes I indeed sleep. But the last thing I do before I go to bed is check the forum whilst making my last deposit of the day and 3rd thing in the am after the morning deposit and feeding the cats I hop onto the elliptical with the celly and check the forum. I will say the rise of the Muzzinators has breathed a lot of life into this forum. I think they are responsible for 50% of the content and the portal another 20%. If it was not for these 2 things, what else is there to chat about? There's no controversy and the rosters are all locked in.

 

[Gargoyle]

#5: Names that just sound great. Gorbatenko.

 

[robertearle]

I am always amused by the name Chloe Aurard. In my head, I try to say the last name with the proper bit of French accent, and it comes out "Arr Arr", and then I try again, and then again, and before you know it, I sound like Mork from Ork attempting to laugh like a human.

 

[Windchill22]

I always get a kick outta Brieja Parent - I always think 'heir apparent' when I hear her full name called and get a chuckle.

 

[Timothy A]

#4...I'd love to know what the linesmen and the refs say to the goalies. I would think it's poor etiquette for an official to say anything to a player.

I'd also like to see a tutorial on what the wcha linesepople are seeing on faceoffs to call so many warnings. It seems rather ridiculous that if the average fan can't recognize a foul on the line-up for a faceoff, is the foul that egregious to get a warning? And then sometimes there is clear cheating going on to the back of the linesman dropping the puck and nothing is called by the other linesman who have a clear view of the cheating going on.

 

[Timothy A]

#5. My oldest son played a lot of hockey video games and he was always the Ottawa Senators because Dany Heatly was on the team.....the announcer calling the games was always saying "here comes Hossa!" It's burned into me head.