3rd place out of 3. Congratulations to Jordan Michelle for taking the Amateur Drag Queen of the Year crown and Coca Cola Caliente for the Professional!
But compared to the other pageants I've been in this year, this was not a DFL (dead f-cking last) and it doesn't feel like a DFL.
I read through the judges' comments, and several of them noted drastic improvement, including increased confidence and better presentation overall. The other comments were gentle corrections, things that can be worked on.
When my comedy fell flat, I knew it. I wanted so badly to go upstairs and start the "poor, pitiful me" act. I also wanted so badly to start ripping myself apart for everything, but I reminded myself that part of the creative process is trying things that may or may not work, and I'm not the Pirates or Angels or (insert MLB team usually out of contention by May 1). When I spoke to Gabriella Stratton Galore and husband after the show, I was told to keep working at it. And when someone like Gabriella tells me that I've improved, that's something I can hang my hat on.
On the way home last night, I thought of Anthony Bourdain:
"Maybe that’s enlightenment enough: to know that there is no final resting place of the mind; no moment of smug clarity. Perhaps wisdom...is realizing how small I am, and unwise, and how far I have yet to go."
But I thought of Dean Karnazes too:
"Most people never get there. They're afraid or unwilling to demand enough of themselves and take the easy road, the path of least resistance. But struggling and suffering, as I now saw it, were the essence of a life worth living. If you're not pushing yourself beyond the comfort zone, if you're not constantly demanding more from yourself--expanding and learning as you go--you're choosing a numb existence. You're denying yourself an extraordinary trip."
And I am so grateful to be on an extraordinary trip with others who want more out of life, are pushing themselves out of their comfort zone, and aren't afraid to be embarrassed.