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Gender Studies I

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Re: Gender Studies I

And right now, I'm working with two baby trans. They just came out and started coming to our group, so I'm trying to get them out in social settings (we were at Starbucks today), answer questions, and be there for them as much as I can. I know when I came out, I relied heavily on trans elders, asking questions, and having them get me out in social settings. In many ways, it feels like my trans elders protected me and helped me survive when I first came out and started hormones, so it's all I can do to pay it forward.
 
Re: Gender Studies I

Not terrible, actually. There is occasional water weight, mood swings, cramping, and wanting to eat everything, but it's not so bad.
Those aren't side effects, those are just life as a female.

As for boobs, I had to gain a bunch of weight to grow them. You'll notice many female athletes and thin women are lacking in size there.
 
Re: Gender Studies I

Those aren't side effects, those are just life as a female.

As for boobs, I had to gain a bunch of weight to grow them. You'll notice many female athletes and thin women are lacking in size there.

That's what my cis lady friends have told me. It's just daily life.

Also, I realize I can run marathons or have 38DD. I'll take the marathons.
 
Re: Gender Studies I

Later, I'll end up buying my breasts anyway. Not sure how big I'm making them.

Do they make deflatables?

Ideal size (all other things being equal) follows a bell curve against age, with the local maximum around 35. It should track with sex drive. Nature really failed on this one -- yet another argument against Intelligent Design.
 
Re: Gender Studies I

Do they make deflatables?

Ideal size (all other things being equal) follows a bell curve against age, with the local maximum around 35. It should track with sex drive. Nature really failed on this one -- yet another argument against Intelligent Design.

Yeah, but they were not much use after 35 for any of our distant ancestors.
 
Re: Gender Studies I

Do they make deflatables?

Ideal size (all other things being equal) follows a bell curve against age, with the local maximum around 35. It should track with sex drive. Nature really failed on this one -- yet another argument against Intelligent Design.

For some trans folks, their breasts grow nicely. For me, while I got amazing hair, nails, and skin, and a more feminine face, I didn't get breasts.
 
Re: Gender Studies I

I want to go to the kick off meeting for the pride/allies group at work. I'm just afraid I'll be taking my own gender hang ups with me.
 
Re: Gender Studies I

I want to go to the kick off meeting for the pride/allies group at work. I'm just afraid I'll be taking my own gender hang ups with me.

From your sister: GO. Learn. You can be educated, and your heart is open to it. And you want to know something? We love answering questions, as long as those questions are in good faith (not of the "just asking questions" type).
 
Re: Gender Studies I

Today is the National Trans Day of Remembrance. Today, we are remembering and honoring the lives of those lost to transphobic violence, and the sad fact is they are predominantly trans women of color. My advice to you today is if your city has a Day of Remembrance service, attend. It'll be a sobering experience for you for sure.
 
Re: Gender Studies I

Today is the National Trans Day of Remembrance. Today, we are remembering and honoring the lives of those lost to transphobic violence, and the sad fact is they are predominantly trans women of color. My advice to you today is if your city has a Day of Remembrance service, attend. It'll be a sobering experience for you for sure.

Our work group is flying the trans flag today, with a little ceremony this afternoon. It'll be interesting to see how many people show up.
 
Re: Gender Studies I

There will be one, here. Presumably nobody will actually say anything I need to report as an EEOC compliant, but we'll see.

Hopefully my tires won't be slashed in the parking lot, but with Republicans you never can tell.
 
Re: Gender Studies I

Our service was moving, and we had about 60 people there.

Also, with 24 known trans lives lost to violence in the US... those are the ones we know about it. There are others we don't know about, and there are the ones who died by suicide. This is why we're angry. Gonna get out and march with us?
 
Re: Gender Studies I

Tips to be a better ally:

1. Listen to us.
2. Speak in defense of us. Never speak over us or speak for us. Let us tell our stories.
3. Not all about you. Lousy allies like to say "my life is so hard as an ally." No it's not.
4. RESPECT OUR PRONOUNS, regardless of what you think about grammar. As a writer, I'll tell you grammar evolves. Up to you to decide to evolve with it. Formal style guides evolve too. I'm in grad school and I use APA. APA recently mandated singular they. AP Style Guide also mandated singular they. And Merriam Webster added singular they to the dictionary, and a whole bunch of people lost their **** when that happened.
5. Don't ask to be educated, then be the "just asking questions" *******. We will answer questions as long as they are in good faith. Also, I can educate to a point. If it's clear you've built a fortress and are shielding your beliefs... I can't help you. I'll acknowledge your thinking skills are still in the early stages and move on.
6. If you want to enter our spaces, be respectful of those spaces. For example, don't come to Gender SAFE (my trans support group) and be a dick.
7. Social media activism and activism on internet forums is one thing. But you really want to be helpful? Get off your phones. Get off your computers. Come to our Day of Visibility rallies and Day of Remembrance services. Come to our Pride/Resource centers and our support groups. Learn. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Keep all of these rules in mind and it'll make activism easier.
8. When we say someone made an anti-LGBT+ comment or did something that was anti-LGBT, don't ever come back to us and say that's not what they meant or that it was funny. Silence or waving those comments off as nothing major means you're complicit. It's never up to straight and cis people to decide what's anti-LGBT and what's not.
9. Wow, your FaceInstaTwitSnap profile photo had a rainbow/trans frame on it for June. Maintain the same enthusiasm January to May and July to December.
10. You, being straight and cis... I can't make microaggressions against you. I can't discriminate against you. You're in the majority. All I can do is be rude toward you. The sooner you learn this, the better. If Mike Huckabee and Tony Perkins learned this, that would be awesome (they won't).
11. "Are the cis okay?" We wonder about you. Some cis are wonderful. The ones that aren't create things like gender reveal lasagna.
12. "Passing" is a transphobic concept. For example, I don't need to be hyper feminine for you. My trans masculine friends don't need to be hyper masculine for you either. Non-binary people don't owe you a particular look either.
13. And with us, you're either on the boat or you're not on the boat. We cannot wait for you to get on the boat. Our lives are moving forward, with you, or without you.
 
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