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Gender Studies I

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LynahFan said:
If millions of people called you a girl every single day of your life, tried to keep you from using the bathroom of your choice, etc, what else would you call that other than hate?
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Also, "hate" isn't always slurs and violence.

It's "trans people are raping women in bathrooms, grooming children, are pedophiles..."

It's "you're a confused boy."

It's family members disowning me. I haven't spoken to my aunt in the last 5 years after she told me I was sinning and needed to find God.

It's "you can't receive affirming care because you might regret it."

It's being called "sir" constantly, even though I have long red hair, nice curves, and a 38DD chest because of my voice. (Though Dr. Girlfriend from Venture Bros. is still a transition goal...)

It's also the expectation that I need to appear hyper-feminine in order to NOT be called "sir." And with my last few jobs, I haven't had the ability to appear hyper-feminine.

It's being treated as a sexual fetish. Most of the "men" (I use that term very loosely) who message me think I'm a box they can check off and forget about. Furthermore, they want to meet me in secret, not be seen in public with me.

And I have said this before: the mental health of my community would drastically improve if we weren't forced to be on the defensive all the time. Especially when we're looking at high rates of depression and anxiety, prevalent substance abuse, and a whopping attempted suicide rate.

Also, while I'm here: I hate admitting I have a "just in case" plan to leave the country. I hate admitting that I will resort to violence if physically threatened. I hate feeling caught between "we look out for our own kind" and "where you going? With any luck, forward!"
 
MissThundercat said:
Also, "hate" isn't always slurs and violence.

It's "trans people are raping women in bathrooms, grooming children, are pedophiles..."

It's "you're a confused boy."

It's family members disowning me. I haven't spoken to my aunt in the last 5 years after she told me I was sinning and needed to find God.

It's "you can't receive affirming care because you might regret it."

It's being called "sir" constantly, even though I have long red hair, nice curves, and a 38DD chest because of my voice. (Though Dr. Girlfriend from Venture Bros. is still a transition goal...)

It's also the expectation that I need to appear hyper-feminine in order to NOT be called "sir." And with my last few jobs, I haven't had the ability to appear hyper-feminine.

It's being treated as a sexual fetish. Most of the "men" (I use that term very loosely) who message me think I'm a box they can check off and forget about. Furthermore, they want to meet me in secret, not be seen in public with me.

And I have said this before: the mental health of my community would drastically improve if we weren't forced to be on the defensive all the time. Especially when we're looking at high rates of depression and anxiety, prevalent substance abuse, and a whopping attempted suicide rate.

Also, while I'm here: I hate admitting I have a "just in case" plan to leave the country. I hate admitting that I will resort to violence if physically threatened. I hate feeling caught between "we look out for our own kind" and "where you going? With any luck, forward!"
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Breaks my heart - I wish I could give you 30 hugs for each and every one of these offenses. I have so much respect for anyone who can navigate such a difficult environment with grace and optimism - I literally cannot imagine what that life is like. I look at trans people with the same awe and admiration that I reserve for people who do things like climbing Mount Everest, running ultramarathons, rowing across the Atlantic, etc - paths I cannot fathom following.
 
The best we can do is all work to ensure people like Fish never, ever get their hands on the levers of power.
 
Kepler said:
The best we can do is all work to ensure people like Fish never, ever get their hands on the levers of power.
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They’ve had their mitts on the levers of power. They had them for a long time, it’s only in certain states they never lost their grip.
 
St. Clown said:
They’ve had their mitts on the levers of power. They had them for a long time, it’s only in certain states they never lost their grip.
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Understood.

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LynahFan said:
Breaks my heart - I wish I could give you 30 hugs for each and every one of these offenses. I have so much respect for anyone who can navigate such a difficult environment with grace and optimism - I literally cannot imagine what that life is like. I look at trans people with the same awe and admiration that I reserve for people who do things like climbing Mount Everest, running ultramarathons, rowing across the Atlantic, etc - paths I cannot fathom following.
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It's difficult, but I find inspiration from Camus, who once said "the only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion." And I add from Sartre, who said "we can each do any damn thing we want, which is more than what most of us dare to imagine."
 
The Venn Diagram of those offering commentary on Zaya Wade and "I'm not allowed within 1000 feet of a park or school" is pretty much a single overlapping circle.
 
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