Fish, without rancor, the lived reality of your fellow human beings has passed you by. You seem to believe there are certain unchanging social facts, and take comfort in that. But the truth is: there are no unchanging social facts. We made them all up, and if enough of us want to we can change them.
There used to be broad social consensus that blacks were inferior to whites. Conservatives argued passionately and sincerely that making blacks legal equals was perilous and also unfair to blacks themselves. And not just malevolent madmen: Lincoln, a thoughtful humanitarian visionary, was one such.
There used to be broad social consensus that women were inferior to men. Conservatives argued passionately and sincerely that making women legal equals was perilous and also unfair to women themselves. And not just malevolent madmen:
here is an example of humane misogyny.
Likewise with gays, who it has been argued by well-being people that they must be rescued from their debasement and disease.
Here is a history of attempts to "cure" LGBTs for their own good.
And now the same with trans identity.
Your mistake is attributing social custom to natural fact. It is true it would be unfactual to say biological sex does not exist. But gender is entirely made up, like language, law, ethics, religion, and art. It reflects the human heart, which means it is infinitely changeable. You are standing athwart the tracks and hollering STOP! just as those other conservatives did, and you do not realize the train has already rolled on past. Humanity has moved on from the lessons you imbibed. It happens, quite literally, to all of us, if we live long enough. Etienne Gilson, whose intellectual feet I am unfit to wash, hollered long and hard after the authoritarian spell of monotheism was broken. He missed its loving embrace, and mistook his deep psychological need for an essential fact. You are not alone, and you are not hateful for making that error that we all do.
Let it go and stop tormenting people.