Gear Grinding Part 5: The Story of the Broken Tooth

[MountieBoyOz]

Re: Gear Grinding Part 5: The Story of the Broken Tooth

Here's a gear-grinder for me.

One of my wife's good friends had a child with this abusive low-life scumbag. He has been mentally abusive (I've got no proof of the physical part, but I've got a feeling.) to her. I thought she was through with him after some of the vile stuff he did to her last summer, but I guess she's back with the POS. What the fark is wrong with some people? I'm not a violent guy, but I can't even stand to be in the same room as him without wanting to put my fist through his face. Some people just don't get it. I know how this is going to end. She's going to have something happen to her, but my wife and I will pick up the pieces for her.

 

[leswp1]

Re: Gear Grinding Part 5: The Story of the Broken Tooth

Here's a gear-grinder for me.

One of my wife's good friends had a child with this abusive low-life scumbag. He has been mentally abusive (I've got no proof of the physical part, but I've got a feeling.) to her. I thought she was through with him after some of the vile stuff he did to her last summer, but I guess she's back with the POS. What the fark is wrong with some people? I'm not a violent guy, but I can't even stand to be in the same room as him without wanting to put my fist through his face. Some people just don't get it. I know how this is going to end. She's going to have something happen to her, but my wife and I will pick up the pieces for her.

The first thing you do when she starts to tell you something bad is interrupt her immediately and ask her what she is going to do about it in a calm voice. Don't listen to the story. That lets her blow off steam thus making her feel relief she off loaded. If she tries to tell you anyway tell her you feel bad but it bothers you to hear things, she already knows how you feel so you would rather not talk about it. Sounds heartless but it is actually very bad for her to have you act accepting after the first few times of hearing when she is taking abuse. It really is scary when this stuff happens. Makes you mad and feel helpless. If you have any concerns re violence call Childrens' Services. Kids frequently are the target at young ages because they are self centered and needy (like they should be). You can do this anonymously and they will not tell who called. /end of unsolicited advice.

 

[FreshFish]

Re: Gear Grinding Part 5: The Story of the Broken Tooth

If you have any concerns re violence call Childrens' Services. Kids frequently are the target at young ages because they are self centered and needy (like they should be). You can do this anonymously and they will not tell who called. /end of unsolicited advice.

Was thinking about suggesting the same thing....most bullies are cowards and just need a bigger show of force to be intimidated.

 

[BassAle]

Re: Gear Grinding Part 5: The Story of the Broken Tooth

Moving grinds my gears. And I am moving three times in the next six months (one down, two to go). We're currently building a new home so we put our current home on the market not knowing how long it would take to sell. Well it sold fairly quickly and we had just broken ground on construction with 6 months to go before construction was supposed to be done. We're building in a tourist town (Bar Harbor, ME) where rentals are hard to find this time of year and short term rentals can go for $1600 or more per week (could be $4000-$5000 per week for a waterfront rental). I found someone at work moving out of their 3 bedroom rented townhouse, so I took over the lease. 5 minute walk to work. Awesome, right? Except that my employer is buying that 2 unit building, the 4-unit next door, and a 12-unit apartment complex just down the street. The sale closes October 1st. They tend to buy up all of the properties they can near our campus for visiting investigator, interns, and students to use. And they won't let me stay in the rental once the current lease is up on September 30th because they are "short on housing". So I've lined up an off-season month-to-month rental house to bridge the gap between the current rental and when the house will be finished. This one is currently a summer weekly rental, fully furnished, going for $1600 per week and is rented out through mid September. He's going to give it to me for $1100 a month for as long as I need it during the off season. Since this place is fully furnished I'll have to move all my furniture into the garage of my home while it is still under construction. I tried to find something I could rent for the entire time the home was under construction, but I couldn't find anything that would work so I got stuck needing two rentals and an extra move.

The other thing that grinds my gears is blasting... We're building on Mount Desert Island, Maine (home of Acadia National Park). If you've ever visited the park you know the island is mostly hard granite, and we hit solid rock anywhere from a couple inches below the surface to a couple feet below surface where our house is going. We are having a basement, so we need blasting before they can pour the foundation. This has put us another couple weeks behind schedule (and blasting isn't cheap). This is why a lot of homes on the island don't have a basement (especially older homes or ones built primarily as summer vacation homes).

ugg

 

[MissThundercat]

Re: Gear Grinding Part 5: The Story of the Broken Tooth

I'm not sure if I can call this woman a friend. Basically asks my dad and I to take her somewhere because it's an "emergency," and then it becomes "can you take me here, there, and everywhere?" Tells me she has to go to the mall to pay her phone bill. Go to the Sprint store, and she's not there. When I found her, she had a bag from the GAP. It took every ounce of energy I had not to tear her a new one in public. She then tries to make nice about it, touching me and calling me a "brother from another mother." Asked her to stop touching me, and she kept at it.

On second thought, she's not a friend. I have no patience for people who steal my time.

 

[Hammer]

Re: Gear Grinding Part 5: The Story of the Broken Tooth

Simple. Next time, you're busy.

 

[MissThundercat]

Re: Gear Grinding Part 5: The Story of the Broken Tooth

Simple. Next time, you're busy.

Of course... "I can't take you right now, I have to go look at things. Alone."

 

[Timothy A]

Re: Gear Grinding Part 5: The Story of the Broken Tooth

Moving grinds my gears. And I am moving three times in the next six months (one down, two to go). We're currently building a new home so we put our current home on the market not knowing how long it would take to sell. Well it sold fairly quickly and we had just broken ground on construction with 6 months to go before construction was supposed to be done.
ugg

Consider what would have happened had you not sold your current house quickly.....it happen to us in 2006/2007. We started building in in May of 2006, meaning started pushing dirt. We listed our old house for $200,000 which was a fair price considering comps, and were building the house for $235,000 (new house hit right on budget, not a gear grinder). We got on offer for $180,000 one month in. They did not budge on our counter-offer, we knew we had 5 more months of building, so we let it go. (We all know what happened to the real estate market back then, but when we committed to the project, the market had not plunged yet). Forward to Feb 2007, the new house was done and we moved in, and had not sold the old house yet, with no activity on it since the June 2006 offer and we're sweating bullets. Finally we get an offer in the low $160,000's, and what were we to do? They had us by the nuts, well, me anyway. It sold for $166,000. Since we didn't get near the $200,000, we ended up getting a 2nd mortage on our new house! Looking back $180,000 would have been enough to avoid the 2nd mort, but we were wanting $190,000 in the end, which would have given us $10,000 seed for the kid's HS tuition. Talk about grinding my gears.

Looking back, we should have stayed in our first house (the house we built is our 3rd over a 14 yr period). It would have been pd off and we'd be swimming in cash right now. In the end we still came up with a plan that worked for the kid's HS tuition, though it's being cut REAL close. The bottom line is we used our best judgement at the time of each purchase/sale and we just need to keep our whits about us and keep trusting in God, though it's hard to humanly fathom the gear grinding he sends our way sometimes, though it's sometimes avoidable as long you as excerise good judgement.

 

[BassAle]

Consider what would have happened had you not sold your current house quickly.....it happen to us in 2006/2007. We started building in in May of 2006, meaning started pushing dirt. We listed our old house for $200,000 which was a fair price considering comps, and were building the house for $235,000 (new house hit right on budget, not a gear grinder). We got on offer for $180,000 one month in. They did not budge on our counter-offer, we knew we had 5 more months of building, so we let it go. (We all know what happened to the real estate market back then, but when we committed to the project, the market had not plunged yet). Forward to Feb 2007, the new house was done and we moved in, and had not sold the old house yet, with no activity on it since the June 2006 offer and we're sweating bullets. Finally we get an offer in the low $160,000's, and what were we to do? They had us by the nuts, well, me anyway. It sold for $166,000. Since we didn't get near the $200,000, we ended up getting a 2nd mortage on our new house! Looking back $180,000 would have been enough to avoid the 2nd mort, but we were wanting $190,000 in the end, which would have given us $10,000 seed for the kid's HS tuition. Talk about grinding my gears.

Looking back, we should have stayed in our first house (the house we built is our 3rd over a 14 yr period). It would have been pd off and we'd be swimming in cash right now. In the end we still came up with a plan that worked for the kid's HS tuition, though it's being cut REAL close. The bottom line is we used our best judgement at the time of each purchase/sale and we just need to keep our whits about us and keep trusting in God, though it's hard to humanly fathom the gear grinding he sends our way sometimes, though it's sometimes avoidable as long you as excerise good judgement.

While we got a little less than what we wanted I am glad we took it. After we put it under contract a bunch more houses showed up on the market in our neighborhood. By the time we paid commission and $2000 toward our buyers closing costs we ended up with very little in our pocket. We got a little less than what we paid in 2006 and we had put 20-30K into it which was a bummer. I'm glad we aren't carrying two mortgages though. The fact that the new home is costing 178,000 more than what we just sold our old home for is giving me a little heartburn though

 

[jen]

Re: Gear Grinding Part 5: The Story of the Broken Tooth

People who take coffee from the fresh pot instead of the pot that's 2 minutes older grind my gears. Do they really think it makes a difference? Both suck.

 

[St. Clown]

Re: Gear Grinding Part 5: The Story of the Broken Tooth

People who take coffee from the fresh pot instead of the pot that's 2 minutes older grind my gears. Do they really think it makes a difference? Both suck.

I had a woman tell me that I needed to do something with the coffee pot at work once while it was brewing. I just looked at her, told her that I don't drink coffee and wouldn't do a thing for it because I had no idea what she really wanted. She might as well have shot laser beams from her eyes. To hell with her if she thinks I'm going to attend to the carafes that I've never once used.

 

[jen]

Re: Gear Grinding Part 5: The Story of the Broken Tooth

I had a woman tell me that I needed to do something with the coffee pot at work once while it was brewing. I just looked at her, told her that I don't drink coffee and wouldn't do a thing for it because I had no idea what she really wanted. She might as well have shot laser beams from her eyes. To hell with her if she thinks I'm going to attend to the carafes that I've never once used.

That's ridiculous. Coffee maintenance should be limited to coffee drinkers. Also, if you don't drink decaf - you shouldn't be responsible for the decaf pot either. I make coffee only if I'm taking it. If you just happen to walk past the machine, you certainly should not feel obligated to make coffee, ESPECIALLY if you don't even drink it. She was probably frustrated because there's a lot of lazy people who DO drink coffee, but never make it, or never think to combine 2 pots with a tiny bit left and make more.

 

[leswp1]

Re: Gear Grinding Part 5: The Story of the Broken Tooth

I had a woman tell me that I needed to do something with the coffee pot at work once while it was brewing. I just looked at her, told her that I don't drink coffee and wouldn't do a thing for it because I had no idea what she really wanted. She might as well have shot laser beams from her eyes. To hell with her if she thinks I'm going to attend to the carafes that I've never once used.

Are you the dishwasher? I love people who say stuff like that because I like asking theym whey they haven't done something about it before if it is so important.

 

[FreshFish]

Re: Gear Grinding Part 5: The Story of the Broken Tooth

That's ridiculous. Coffee maintenance should be limited to coffee drinkers.

Probably why our office has a coffee machine that makes one cup at a time. We have two different coffee machines, one that dispenses coffee, the other that uses something like the K-cup or whatever the fad of the day is...

Our office manager is always after people not to leave used dishes in the sink. That really grinds his gears.

 

[leswp1]

Re: Gear Grinding Part 5: The Story of the Broken Tooth

dishes in the sink? Goodwill. End of story. If it is unclaimed there will be someone who can use it.

Or more evil- just put the used dish in a bag on the person's desk- hopefully still wet, and dirty

 

[FadeToBlack&Gold]

Re: Gear Grinding Part 5: The Story of the Broken Tooth

We have big machines that load a bunch of coffee beans up top, then grind/brew/dispense one fresh cup at a time. Probably the best office coffee you'll find. Part of our secretary's duties is to keep the coffee filled and paper towels on the rack. The biggest problem we have is people who leave leftovers in the fridge and forget about them until they've become science projects. Gross.

 

[Spartanforlife4]

Re: Gear Grinding Part 5: The Story of the Broken Tooth

Why do people root for another national team like it's their own country, or like it's a professional club?

A girl on Facebook just posted a profile picture of her in a Germany jersey with the caption "Time to add that 4th star!" (teams have a star on their shirt for each World Cup title). She also changed her cover photo to Germany celebrating. Two weeks ago she was living and dying with the US results. She's from America, she has a Scottish surname. I'm sure she has some German heritage but that only allows you to have a "Hey, that'd be neat if they won" following, not a "celebrate like you're a German national" following.

I've noticed the people that do this never seem to have trouble picking the US for basketball or hockey.

 

[MinnesotaNorthStar]

Re: Gear Grinding Part 5: The Story of the Broken Tooth

Why do people root for another national team like it's their own country, or like it's a professional club?

A girl on Facebook just posted a profile picture of her in a Germany jersey with the caption "Time to add that 4th star!" (teams have a star on their shirt for each World Cup title). She also changed her cover photo to Germany celebrating. Two weeks ago she was living and dying with the US results. She's from America, she has a Scottish surname. I'm sure she has some German heritage but that only allows you to have a "Hey, that'd be neat if they won" following, not a "celebrate like you're a German national" following.

I've noticed the people that do this never seem to have trouble picking the US for basketball or hockey.

Who are you to decide how much someone is allowed to celebrate anything?

If it really bothers you that much...unfriend her.

 

[MountieBoyOz]

Re: Gear Grinding Part 5: The Story of the Broken Tooth

Why do people root for another national team like it's their own country, or like it's a professional club?

A girl on Facebook just posted a profile picture of her in a Germany jersey with the caption "Time to add that 4th star!" (teams have a star on their shirt for each World Cup title). She also changed her cover photo to Germany celebrating. Two weeks ago she was living and dying with the US results. She's from America, she has a Scottish surname. I'm sure she has some German heritage but that only allows you to have a "Hey, that'd be neat if they won" following, not a "celebrate like you're a German national" following.

I've noticed the people that do this never seem to have trouble picking the US for basketball or hockey.

I've got a college friend that was born here, but rooted for Ghana against us. I think his relatives were from there, but still. He was born here. I just ignored it, but took pleasure in the U.S. win.

As for the rooting for the other national team, I get it. I do have Scotch, English, Germany, French and Cherokee blood. Was I happy Germany won? For two minutes and moved on.

 

[leswp1]

Re: Gear Grinding Part 5: The Story of the Broken Tooth

I've got a college friend that was born here, but rooted for Ghana against us. I think his relatives were from there, but still. He was born here. I just ignored it, but took pleasure in the U.S. win.

As for the rooting for the other national team, I get it. I do have Scotch, English, Germany, French and Cherokee blood. Was I happy Germany won? For two minutes and moved on.

I have people who belittle all sport on my FB page and others who live and die by sports. Unless we are talking about something like a real war with armies, death and national risk I have no problem with rooting for another team. It is a game. According to Faux news I should hate the whole game because it is un-American to like it anyway. I knew folks rooting for Germany because they beat the USA so that meant we were put out by the champions. My family is only a generation off the boat (Scotland), I lived in England. If Scotland or England were in it yesterday you bet your a55 I would have been glued to the TV rooting for them. I don't see that as earth moving or unpatriotic. This business of hyper-patriotism where you have to root only American leaves me baffled. The cool part of our country is we are a melting pot. I would hope we had enough belief in ourselves that we don't need to stifle a person's culture unless it is doing something harmful to the country. (If we did exactly what is American?- every person would have a diff definition depending on the part of the country, town or even neighborhood)