Dad jokes and Bad jokes. One in the same

[MissThundercat]

I'm reading a book in Braille.

Something bad is about to happen; I can feel it.

 

[MissThundercat]

Did you know that for the cost of a cup of coffee a day, you can buy me a cup of coffee a day?

 

[ticapnews]

 

[MissThundercat]

Why didn't Oedipus use profanity?

Because he kisses his Mom with that mouth.

 

[MissThundercat]

A lion wouldn't drink and drive.

But a Tiger Wood.

Too soon?

 

[MissThundercat]

Once I asked my mom why I wasn't named after her.

She said "because After Her is a stupid name!"

 

[St. Clown]

I got cast in a film about a bakery.

It’s not a huge part…

Just a small roll.

 

[jericho]

Woody walked in and caught Jesse having sex with Buzz. Woody is horrified and apologized, but before he can leave Jesse says “it’s ok Woody, you’ve got a friend in me”

 

[ticapnews]

In honor of Pride Month the Iranians have announced that all Straits are closed until July 1.

 

[MissThundercat]

Her: I have a Daddy kink.

Me: *walks in the living room wearing a Hawaiian shirt, cargo shorts, and white New Balance shoes* WHO'S READY TO GO TO COSTCO?

 

[ticapnews]

"You're listening to Sisyphus FM - Your home for non-stop rock."

 

[MissThundercat]

The lifeguard had to kick the elephants out of the pool.

They kept dropping their trunks.

 

[MissThundercat]

"Nothing really matters to me."

Spoken like someone who's mama just killed a man.

 

[MissThundercat]

People in math problems have 75 bananas and 25 watermelons. That's apparently fine.

But when I have five cups of coffee, I'm the one with a problem?

 

[MissThundercat]

As a 44 year old disabled and neurodivergent queer, I fall apart easily and the group who designed me refuses to be held accountable.

That's why this Pride Month, I'm partnering with Boeing!

 

[ticapnews]

The Iliad is so named because Ilion (city of Ilius) was combined with the -ad ending, meaning poem.

The Poem of Ilion.

Or, in the modern lexicon, Troy Story

 

[MissThundercat]

The Iliad is so named because Ilion (city of Ilius) was combined with the -ad ending, meaning poem.

The Poem of Ilion.

Or, in the modern lexicon, Troy Story

You do not have a friend in horse!