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A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

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Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

I need a little advice/support.

I'm at work and the wife is taking care of the little one. My wife texted me saying the little one hates her and wants to move in with her father. I ask why and it's because her sister is there and we are never going to have one. Since the wife got promoted, she's been having to do the head and assistant teacher jobs so it's a little more stressful.

Anyways, her father gets her on most weekends and lets her stay up late and whatever she wants. It takes us a day or two to try and reinforce the structure of going to bed on time and doing your homework that he doesn't enforce. If she's really upset, she'll say she wants to move away from us. How does one handle the stress? Am I the bad guy for trying to set up rules for her? My wife is sick of being the bad guy as well. Any help would be appreciated. This whole baby thing has the wife and me out of sorts. Thanks.
 
Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

I need a little advice/support.

I'm at work and the wife is taking care of the little one. My wife texted me saying the little one hates her and wants to move in with her father. I ask why and it's because her sister is there and we are never going to have one. Since the wife got promoted, she's been having to do the head and assistant teacher jobs so it's a little more stressful.

Anyways, her father gets her on most weekends and lets her stay up late and whatever she wants. It takes us a day or two to try and reinforce the structure of going to bed on time and doing your homework that he doesn't enforce. If she's really upset, she'll say she wants to move away from us. How does one handle the stress? Am I the bad guy for trying to set up rules for her? My wife is sick of being the bad guy as well. Any help would be appreciated. This whole baby thing has the wife and me out of sorts. Thanks.
Keep on doing what you are doing. Then next time she pulls that stunt (and it is one) then you acknowledge the feeling- I am sorry you are mad but that does not mean the rules change. Kids do this whether the parents are together or not.

The worst thing you can do is read more into it than it is. When kids are this age everything is a drama. THe kid is po'd. She says that. Gets a strong reaction and she is going to use it every time. This isn't because she is evil it is because kids look to get what they want. The answer is to be very matter of fact. The baby thing has what she is saying about the sibling carry more weight than if you had a baby. If you had a baby then she would want to be somewhere else because she was being ignored because the baby is favored. Stay the course. Remember you guys are the ones who put her together as far as school, etc. Think like an adult instead of letting the emotions push your buttons. If you were not a split family and she said this stuff you would be aggravated but you wouldn't read all the extra stuff into it.

Hang in there!
 
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Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

I'd just like to mention how much I hate cancer. I found out from my father that my great Aunt passed away. She was in her 90s and things were pretty bad for her. At least she isn't suffering. I hate cancer because it's taken both. my grandparents on my dad's side and my step-mother's sister in her 40s.
 
Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

This one goes out to gfmorris and his family. Although I happened to hear through another community where one of his family members is an active participant, you guys are in our thoughts.
 
Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

You know, at this point Im waiting for our hospital to give out like a frequent visitor card to my dad that they hole punch everytime he comes in. 10 visits and your next MRI is free!

Dad was admitted to the hospital yesterday. He had been vomitting and had severe nausea for about a week. He and mom thought it was probably the flu, but it didnt go away. When they took him in his blood sugar was not right ("out of whack" as my mom put it) and he was dehyrdated of course. They did some other blood work and are doing an ultrasound on his abdomen today primarily to check his gall bladder as they think this may be were the problem is. No other news yet. Will post when I hear.

Edit: He is being discharged this afternoon/evening. The ultrasound showed some thickening of the gall bladder and that may have contributed to the nausea and vomitting but they didnt see anything else. They treated his symptoms and rehydrated him. He is feeling good. They told him to come right back in if he has problems. Otherwise while he is having his 6 month aneurysm check (he has one on the abdomonal aorta that they are keeping an eye...thankfully it hasnt grown and so far doesnt require surgery) they will take another look at his gall bladder and see whats up.

Apparently he started getting sick last Sunday (the 29th) but still went out and played golf on Monday. Despite feeling like crap and almost leaving a few times he still managed to shoot a 2-over 38 on 9 holes. Impressive.
 
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Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

You know, at this point Im waiting for our hospital to give out like a frequent visitor card to my dad that they hole punch everytime he comes in. 10 visits and your next MRI is free!

Dad was admitted to the hospital yesterday. He had been vomitting and had severe nausea for about a week. He and mom thought it was probably the flu, but it didnt go away. When they took him in his blood sugar was not right ("out of whack" as my mom put it) and he was dehyrdated of course. They did some other blood work and are doing an ultrasound on his abdomen today primarily to check his gall bladder as they think this may be were the problem is. No other news yet. Will post when I hear.

Edit: He is being discharged this afternoon/evening. The ultrasound showed some thickening of the gall bladder and that may have contributed to the nausea and vomitting but they didnt see anything else. They treated his symptoms and rehydrated him. He is feeling good. They told him to come right back in if he has problems. Otherwise while he is having his 6 month aneurysm check (he has one on the abdomonal aorta that they are keeping an eye...thankfully it hasnt grown and so far doesnt require surgery) they will take another look at his gall bladder and see whats up.

Apparently he started getting sick last Sunday (the 29th) but still went out and played golf on Monday. Despite feeling like crap and almost leaving a few times he still managed to shoot a 2-over 38 on 9 holes. Impressive.
Glad to hear things came out ok
 
Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

May have spoke to soon. Just got a text from Mom. Dad is back at the hospital getting ready to go in for a CT scan. Abdomanal pain again. He rates it a 12 on a scale of 1-10. Hopefully hear something back soon.
 
Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

May have spoke to soon. Just got a text from Mom. Dad is back at the hospital getting ready to go in for a CT scan. Abdomanal pain again. He rates it a 12 on a scale of 1-10. Hopefully hear something back soon.
Saying a prayer for you guys!
 
Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

May have spoke to soon. Just got a text from Mom. Dad is back at the hospital getting ready to go in for a CT scan. Abdomanal pain again. He rates it a 12 on a scale of 1-10. Hopefully hear something back soon.
And some more prayers heading toward your family.
 
Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

May have spoke to soon. Just got a text from Mom. Dad is back at the hospital getting ready to go in for a CT scan. Abdomanal pain again. He rates it a 12 on a scale of 1-10. Hopefully hear something back soon.

Well, things continue to be weird. Dad felt better today but was not happy with the way our hosptial was going about treating him. He was displeased that they didnt want to feed him because he had been nauseous. But he didnt feel that way and wanted to eat. The CT can did not show anything and his bloodwork was normal. Im not sure if they ran other tests. I thought they were considering a scope but Im not sure it happened. He finally convinced my mom to take him home and checked himself out. (Its not helping that his doctor is out of town right now...he would probably be more likely to listen to him). I guess the plan is to take him to a larger hospital in Fort Wayne (about 20 minutes from where we live) if this happens again. Hopefully it just doesnt happen again, but if it does and they go to the Fort Wayne hospital they will be able to do something for him. My dad can be stubborn.
 
Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

Well, things continue to be weird. Dad felt better today but was not happy with the way our hosptial was going about treating him. He was displeased that they didnt want to feed him because he had been nauseous. But he didnt feel that way and wanted to eat. The CT can did not show anything and his bloodwork was normal. Im not sure if they ran other tests. I thought they were considering a scope but Im not sure it happened. He finally convinced my mom to take him home and checked himself out. (Its not helping that his doctor is out of town right now...he would probably be more likely to listen to him). I guess the plan is to take him to a larger hospital in Fort Wayne (about 20 minutes from where we live) if this happens again. Hopefully it just doesnt happen again, but if it does and they go to the Fort Wayne hospital they will be able to do something for him. My dad can be stubborn.
Continued thoughts and prayers for your dad!

My dad hasn't been honest with me about the state of our finances. When I finally pressed him for answers, come to find out we're more than three months behind on the mortgage and we were rejected for loan modification. Next step is foreclosure, but we don't know when that will happen. We were going to have to downsize anyway, but I didn't want it to happen like this. I'm not praying for a sudden financial windfall, but I am praying for serenity and that we can find an apartment soon.
 
Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

Prayers for you Shirtless. Tough situation as I know you were saying that he didn't understand that working to find a job is going to be your job until you get one.
 
Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

Continued thoughts and prayers for your dad!

My dad hasn't been honest with me about the state of our finances. When I finally pressed him for answers, come to find out we're more than three months behind on the mortgage and we were rejected for loan modification. Next step is foreclosure, but we don't know when that will happen. We were going to have to downsize anyway, but I didn't want it to happen like this. I'm not praying for a sudden financial windfall, but I am praying for serenity and that we can find an apartment soon.
I know how you feel Bob. With my parents divorce coming up, the financials here for the farm are going to be a lot tighter, and I'm probably going to have to lean on mom more to cut some of her costs on the horses here. At least right now she's talking about getting one horse sold to somewhere else, the one that put the scar on top of my head about 3 years ago, and then another one might become a donation to the MSU vet school I think. Thankfully, Dad just wants out, so they're not really bickering much, think its really just a question of alimony he has to pay now and when he retires which is likely to be soon. Big question is that can we end up keeping the farm.
 
Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

I know how you feel Bob. With my parents divorce coming up, the financials here for the farm are going to be a lot tighter, and I'm probably going to have to lean on mom more to cut some of her costs on the horses here. At least right now she's talking about getting one horse sold to somewhere else, the one that put the scar on top of my head about 3 years ago, and then another one might become a donation to the MSU vet school I think. Thankfully, Dad just wants out, so they're not really bickering much, think its really just a question of alimony he has to pay now and when he retires which is likely to be soon. Big question is that can we end up keeping the farm.
This kind of stuff is so hard. :(
 
Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

Prayers for you Shirtless. Tough situation as I know you were saying that he didn't understand that working to find a job is going to be your job until you get one.
Thanks. Much appreciated!

I know how you feel Bob. With my parents divorce coming up, the financials here for the farm are going to be a lot tighter, and I'm probably going to have to lean on mom more to cut some of her costs on the horses here. At least right now she's talking about getting one horse sold to somewhere else, the one that put the scar on top of my head about 3 years ago, and then another one might become a donation to the MSU vet school I think. Thankfully, Dad just wants out, so they're not really bickering much, think its really just a question of alimony he has to pay now and when he retires which is likely to be soon. Big question is that can we end up keeping the farm.
Sending prayers your way, too!
 
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