Proud2baLaker
Master of Science
Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you
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Many thumbs up to this.
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A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you
- Thread starter Proud2baLaker
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leswp1
Well-known member
Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you
Hang in ther P2bL! Prayers your way.
MountieBoyOz
Eater of Worlds
Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you
A little more on my situation. My fiance was taking her daughter to the appointment when she got a call from her ex (Hailey's father). She said it was a follow up appointment and the father said "he was going to have a chat" with the doctor about putting Hailey on meds. As you know, he is completely against it. My finace arrived for the appointment early and got out before 1:30. On the way down, she ran into her ex who was going to have that chat with the doctor.
He's now talking about trying to get primary custoday and it worries my fiance a lot. He thinks his little one shouldn't be on meds and will be dammed if it happens. I just don't get it. The improvement in her schoolwork is there. She likes school again and is being social again. I want to say something to him, but I don't want to let my temper get the best of me. Why does he want to stop something that is HELPING his daughter? It baffles me. Any words of advice? Thanks for all of your help and kind words.
A little more on my situation. My fiance was taking her daughter to the appointment when she got a call from her ex (Hailey's father). She said it was a follow up appointment and the father said "he was going to have a chat" with the doctor about putting Hailey on meds. As you know, he is completely against it. My finace arrived for the appointment early and got out before 1:30. On the way down, she ran into her ex who was going to have that chat with the doctor.
He's now talking about trying to get primary custoday and it worries my fiance a lot. He thinks his little one shouldn't be on meds and will be dammed if it happens. I just don't get it. The improvement in her schoolwork is there. She likes school again and is being social again. I want to say something to him, but I don't want to let my temper get the best of me. Why does he want to stop something that is HELPING his daughter? It baffles me. Any words of advice? Thanks for all of your help and kind words.
Timothy A
Let's go RED!
Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you
Sounds like the X is using situation to unstabilze the applecart and p/o off your fiance. I'd have those 2 sit down with the Dr. and go over things. The honest and truthful evidence should show the meds are good for her. But the hardest thing is to try and be reasonable with the unreasonable, as seen millions of times on this board in trivial things. If he files for custody, the truth will come out in court, right? The judge should be reasonable and the evidence of her performance is there. Are there underlying issues that would make this meds issue seem like small beans to a judge?
Sounds like the X is using situation to unstabilze the applecart and p/o off your fiance. I'd have those 2 sit down with the Dr. and go over things. The honest and truthful evidence should show the meds are good for her. But the hardest thing is to try and be reasonable with the unreasonable, as seen millions of times on this board in trivial things. If he files for custody, the truth will come out in court, right? The judge should be reasonable and the evidence of her performance is there. Are there underlying issues that would make this meds issue seem like small beans to a judge?
MountieBoyOz
Eater of Worlds
Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you
No underlying issues, Timothy. I just don't trust situations when your fate is in another person's hands. My fiance is a teacher for pre-school kids so I think she has an idea of what to do with children. He thinks the drugs will make his daughter depresssed and make her wet the bed. (He learned that info because his cousin used to take Ritalin by the fistful so consider the source.) We did the whole process by the book, but he still wants to fight this.
No underlying issues, Timothy. I just don't trust situations when your fate is in another person's hands. My fiance is a teacher for pre-school kids so I think she has an idea of what to do with children. He thinks the drugs will make his daughter depresssed and make her wet the bed. (He learned that info because his cousin used to take Ritalin by the fistful so consider the source.) We did the whole process by the book, but he still wants to fight this.
Timothy A
Let's go RED!
Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you
So he's basing his opinion on an improperly medicated situation...like I said, how do you reason with the unreasonable? I think your best bet is the 2 parents and Dr. in the same room discussing. Is this guy the kind of guy who will tell the Dr. he's wrong?
So he's basing his opinion on an improperly medicated situation...like I said, how do you reason with the unreasonable? I think your best bet is the 2 parents and Dr. in the same room discussing. Is this guy the kind of guy who will tell the Dr. he's wrong?
leswp1
Well-known member
Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you
It is not uncommon for parents to deal with their child's imperfections by explaining them away- if people would just do the right thing then these sx would disappear. It is also not uncommon for the person objecting to have the same malady the patient has and they do not want be abnormal either (ie- if the kid is very like them then they must have X too. They do not want to think they are not normal). As the child is the patient and not the Dad, it is within the rights of the mother to ask what transpired at that interview. It is also a great idea for her to ask for help in dealing with the guy's negative response. See if they could make suggestions re how to deal with him. Sometimes they are crazy as loons and you just have to deal with the fact that rational is not in the picture.
I would not worry re the custody thing. She has been evaluated and treated appropriately. She has had good response. Follow up is appropriate and timely. You have medical and school involved. The question asked at the custody hearing would be why the guy had not addressed the problem sooner, why he objects to medical care that is appropriate and what he would do that could be better than a successful plan. The child has had sig improvement from your response. If you guys were using some type of weird, controversial treatment then maybe the guy would have a leg to stand on but you aren't. The only thing that will happen is the lawyers will get rich.
If the kid has a counselor then it might behoove you to see if that person would meet with the 3 of you to see if they could help. Also- does the X have parents, other family members that have their head screwed on a bit tighter than he does? If so maybe it would OK to ask them to help. Not to put them in the middle but more to help you understand/deal with the issue.
Hang on. You guys are doing the right thing.
It is not uncommon for parents to deal with their child's imperfections by explaining them away- if people would just do the right thing then these sx would disappear. It is also not uncommon for the person objecting to have the same malady the patient has and they do not want be abnormal either (ie- if the kid is very like them then they must have X too. They do not want to think they are not normal). As the child is the patient and not the Dad, it is within the rights of the mother to ask what transpired at that interview. It is also a great idea for her to ask for help in dealing with the guy's negative response. See if they could make suggestions re how to deal with him. Sometimes they are crazy as loons and you just have to deal with the fact that rational is not in the picture.
I would not worry re the custody thing. She has been evaluated and treated appropriately. She has had good response. Follow up is appropriate and timely. You have medical and school involved. The question asked at the custody hearing would be why the guy had not addressed the problem sooner, why he objects to medical care that is appropriate and what he would do that could be better than a successful plan. The child has had sig improvement from your response. If you guys were using some type of weird, controversial treatment then maybe the guy would have a leg to stand on but you aren't. The only thing that will happen is the lawyers will get rich.
If the kid has a counselor then it might behoove you to see if that person would meet with the 3 of you to see if they could help. Also- does the X have parents, other family members that have their head screwed on a bit tighter than he does? If so maybe it would OK to ask them to help. Not to put them in the middle but more to help you understand/deal with the issue.
Hang on. You guys are doing the right thing.
MountieBoyOz
Eater of Worlds
Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you
He is that type of person. The reason my fiance left him was because he would yell and scream at her until he got his way. She finally had it and left. His opinion is the only opinion that is right one and nothing will talk him out of it.
He is that type of person. The reason my fiance left him was because he would yell and scream at her until he got his way. She finally had it and left. His opinion is the only opinion that is right one and nothing will talk him out of it.
theprofromdover
The Original Dope Detector
Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you
After my oldest and I met with her oncologist on Friday, we have stopped my wife's cancer medication. She had a series of embolitic strokes in the last three weeks that have left her weak, but cogent. When she is able to come home we will bring hospice in. The doctor thinks she could last 3-4 months. It sucks having to watch her go through this.
After my oldest and I met with her oncologist on Friday, we have stopped my wife's cancer medication. She had a series of embolitic strokes in the last three weeks that have left her weak, but cogent. When she is able to come home we will bring hospice in. The doctor thinks she could last 3-4 months. It sucks having to watch her go through this.
Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you
That's really tough. My prayers are with you. It's not exactly the same, but I remember getting the call that they were stopping treatment on my Mom and there wasn't any more treatment that could be done and that she'd be going home for hospice. I hope she can get home soon.
MarkEagleUSA
C'mon Q!
Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you
I can only imagine. You and your entire family will be in my prayers.
gmann
Cheer up, the worst is yet to come
Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you
You and your family will be included in my prayers.
You and your family will be included in my prayers.
leswp1
Well-known member
Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you
Prayers for you guys. This stinks
MountieBoyOz
Eater of Worlds
Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you
I'll be thinking of you and your family profromdover.
I'll be thinking of you and your family profromdover.
MissThundercat
Are the cis okay?
Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you
And it's been a little more than seven months since my mom's passing. On Monday, I started attending culinary school, and I came home and cried because I wished she could see me in my chef's whites. And not only that, I finally started making all the things she wished I would try, like caramels, brittle, praline pecans, toffee, etc, and I wish she was here to run a little QC...
Prayers for you. This sucks.
And it's been a little more than seven months since my mom's passing. On Monday, I started attending culinary school, and I came home and cried because I wished she could see me in my chef's whites. And not only that, I finally started making all the things she wished I would try, like caramels, brittle, praline pecans, toffee, etc, and I wish she was here to run a little QC...
leswp1
Well-known member
MarkEagleUSA
C'mon Q!
Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you
I'm sure she did and she was.
Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you
She'd be proud of you. I have similar feelings with my wife and my mom, where at times really feed sad and wish that my mom had been around to spent more time with my wife. My mom only got to meet my wife (at that time wife-to-be), twice briefly before my mom's passing.
Timothy A
Let's go RED!
Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you
I'm sure she was an inspiration to you and your cooking. She's with you right now.
I'm sure she was an inspiration to you and your cooking. She's with you right now.
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