2014 Bottom-Feeders Bracket, Futile Four BRACKETOLOGY

[Freddie]

Re: 2014 Bottom-Feeders Bracket, Futile Four BRACKETOLOGY

FUTILE4 TO BE TELEVISED IN MAJOR MARKETS AROUND THE WORLD

Dedicated hockey fans and entertainment legends Richard "Cheech" Marin and Tommy Chong have been working feverishly to pull together a network of independent television stations willing to cover the Futile4. As of this evening's press time six stations have signed on, each agreeing to pay up to $23 for exclusive rights in their respective market areas.

The initial BFB-TV Network lineup consists of:
KVNV-Ely Nevada, KSHV-Shreveport Louisiana, KGOV-Albuquerque New Mexico, CKMC-Swift Current Saskatchewan, BFBS-Falkland Islands and TV44-Hanoi.

More are expected to sign on as special incentives will continue to be offered until 5pm Wednesday.

 

[Snively65]

FUTILE4 TO BE TELEVISED IN MAJOR MARKETS AROUND THE WORLD

Dedicated hockey fans and entertainment legends Richard "Cheech" Marin and Tommy Chong have been working feverishly to pull together an network of independent television stations willing to cover the Futile4. As of this evening's press time six stations have signed on, each agreeing to pay up to $23 for exclusive rights in their respective market areas.

The initial BFB-TV Network lineup consists of:
KVNV-Ely Nevada, KSHV-Shreveport Louisiana, KGOV-Albuquerque New Mexico, CKMC-Swift Current Saskatchewan, BFBS-Falkland Islands and TV44-Hanoi.

More are expected to sign on as special incentives will continue to be offered until 5pm Wednesday.

Free TV might be risky, as could reduce attendance on Omaha?

 

[Freddie]

Re: 2014 Bottom-Feeders Bracket, Futile Four BRACKETOLOGY

Free TV might be risky, as could reduce attendance on Omaha?

The committee is of the unanimous opinion that any attempt to bring reason or sound logic in to the BFB equation is, in itself, futile. Your concern, therefore, shall be noted and summarily dismissed.

 

[Freddie]

Re: 2014 Bottom-Feeders Bracket, Futile Four BRACKETOLOGY

BFB/F4 NETWORK CONTINUES TO EXPAND

Five additional stations have joined the BFB/F4 Network, each agreeing to pay up to $23 for exclusive rights to broadcast all three games in their respective markets. KTNL-Sitka Alaska, WPSD-Paducah Kentucky, WMAH-Biloxi Mississippi, K32GB-Hagatna Guam and TRT5-Anadolu Turkey, with radio simulcast on STTK serving rural areas of Greenland.

Concerns voiced by so-called "purists" that BFB/F4 has lost sight of its core mission and become just another commercial enterprise, were swept aside by BFB/F4 marketing director Ben Dover in a brief prepared statement; "**** off."

In unrelated news, the BFB/F4 committee has moved their tournament headquarters from the Motel 6 in Council Bluffs to a bank of suites at the Hotel Deco XV in downtown Omaha.

 

[Freddie]

Re: 2014 Bottom-Feeders Bracket, Futile Four BRACKETOLOGY

BFB/F4 NETWORK CONTINUES TO EXPAND

In unrelated news, the BFB/F4 committee has moved their tournament headquarters from the Motel 6 in Council Bluffs to a bank of suites at the Hotel Deco XV in downtown Omaha.

After being informed at the front desk of the Hotel Deco XV that the rate quoted was per room, per night, the BFB/F4 staff have moved back to the Motel 6 in Council Bluffs. "We thought $262 was the total for the entire week." said BFB comptroller Sam Sonite.

 

[MissThundercat]

Re: 2014 Bottom-Feeders Bracket, Futile Four BRACKETOLOGY

BFB/F4 NETWORK CONTINUES TO EXPAND

Five additional stations have joined the BFB/F4 Network, each agreeing to pay up to $23 for exclusive rights to broadcast all three games in their respective markets. KTNL-Sitka Alaska, WPSD-Paducah Kentucky, WMAH-Biloxi Mississippi, K32GB-Hagatna Guam and TRT5-Anadolu Turkey, with radio simulcast on STTK serving rural areas of Greenland.

Concerns voiced by so-called "purists" that BFB/F4 has lost sight of its core mission and become just another commercial enterprise, were swept aside by BFB/F4 marketing director Ben Dover in a brief prepared statement; "**** off."

In unrelated news, the BFB/F4 committee has moved their tournament headquarters from the Motel 6 in Council Bluffs to a bank of suites at the Hotel Deco XV in downtown Omaha.

The public television station in Marquette, MI has expressed interest as well. When asked why, they claimed they ran out of Lawrence Welk reruns.

 

[FadeToBlack&Gold]

Re: 2014 Bottom-Feeders Bracket, Futile Four BRACKETOLOGY

I'd be concerned that the Marquette market would have far too many interested viewers.

 

[MissThundercat]

Re: 2014 Bottom-Feeders Bracket, Futile Four BRACKETOLOGY

I'd be concerned that the Marquette market would have far too many interested viewers.

This is true. What about Seney? God, I hate that stretch of road. There's nothing there except trees and power lines.

 

[FlagDUDE08]

Re: 2014 Bottom-Feeders Bracket, Futile Four BRACKETOLOGY

Radio broadcasts have once again been announced. They will take place in the CW portions of the 15-meter and 40-meter Ham Radio bands. Although the pitchers were concerned that the relative popularity of these bands in the USA may dissuade the BFB committee, they were green-lighted because, let's face it, who uses morse code anymore?

 

[aparch]

Re: 2014 Bottom-Feeders Bracket, Futile Four BRACKETOLOGY

I have heard that the Chicagoland area is pushing for the broadcast rights to the Futile Four. No, not WGN or WBBM in Chicago... But the big cable access channel 10 from Aurora, Illinois.

No word on where the pre- and post game shows will be broadcast from yet.

 

[Freddie]

Re: 2014 Bottom-Feeders Bracket, Futile Four BRACKETOLOGY

I'd be concerned that the Marquette market would have far too many interested viewers.

The committee shares these concerns, but will continue negotiations with WNMU in Marquette. We are considering allowing them to show the games on tape delay, broadcast during the basketball games and this weekend's NASCAR event. This should insure that everyone in that market will be occupied elsewhere.

 

[Freddie]

Re: 2014 Bottom-Feeders Bracket, Futile Four BRACKETOLOGY

I have heard that the Chicagoland area is pushing for the broadcast rights to the Futile Four. No, not WGN or WBBM in Chicago... But the big cable access channel 10 from Aurora, Illinois.

No word on where the pre- and post game shows will be broadcast from yet.

The committee has been contacted by WXFT-Aurora, but they are really playing 'hard-ball', insisting that pre and post game shows be broadcast either from Wayne Campbell's basement or Stan Mikita's donut shop. We fear that Wayne's involvement would create a conflict of interest with broadcast underwriters Cheech and Chong, as the official stoners of the BFB; and that Mikita's obvious hockey connection may attract too many fans. We have countered, offering to allow a remote broadcast from Garth's 1992 AMC Pacer, but only with the understanding that there will be no singing of "Bohemian Rhapsody".

Negotiations are currently at a standstill, and aren't expected to resume until the evening of April 4, as metro Chicagoland is in their annual period of mourning associated with Cub's opening day.

 

[MissThundercat]

Re: 2014 Bottom-Feeders Bracket, Futile Four BRACKETOLOGY

You also might want to consider WGVU-35 in Allendale, MI. Yes, it serves the Grand Valley State University campus, but that area (Coopersville, Eastmanville, and Allendale) is really nothing but farm land and a landfill. As you drive down I-96 and pass the Coopersville/Eastmanville exit, the combined smell of manure and the landfill is overpowering.

 

[FadeToBlack&Gold]

Re: 2014 Bottom-Feeders Bracket, Futile Four BRACKETOLOGY

You also might want to consider WGVU-35 in Allendale, MI. Yes, it serves the Grand Valley State University campus, but that area (Coopersville, Eastmanville, and Allendale) is really nothing but farm land and a landfill. As you drive down I-96 and pass the Coopersville/Eastmanville exit, the combined smell of manure and the landfill is overpowering.

I concur with this assessment and would back this proposal over WNMU's, provided that WGVU agrees to tape delay the games on Saturday afternoons/evenings in the fall when GVSU football has home games. Or perhaps even the key 3-5 AM Sunday timeslot before the farmers wake-up, but when most Grand Valley 'students' are passed out from Keystone Light overdose.

 

[MissThundercat]

Re: 2014 Bottom-Feeders Bracket, Futile Four BRACKETOLOGY

I concur with this assessment and would back this proposal over WNMU's, provided that WGVU agrees to tape delay the games on Saturday afternoons/evenings in the fall when GVSU football has home games. Or perhaps even the key 3-5 AM Sunday timeslot before the farmers wake-up, but when most Grand Valley 'students' are passed out from Keystone Light overdose.

And you could do a pregame/postgame broadcast from the landfill. Can't promise the pigeons and seagulls will avoid some poor broadcaster's head, though...

 

[Freddie]

Re: 2014 Bottom-Feeders Bracket, Futile Four BRACKETOLOGY

You also might want to consider WGVU-35 in Allendale, MI. Yes, it serves the Grand Valley State University campus, but that area (Coopersville, Eastmanville, and Allendale) is really nothing but farm land and a landfill. As you drive down I-96 and pass the Coopersville/Eastmanville exit, the combined smell of manure and the landfill is overpowering.

The committee is intrigued by this possibility, but concerned that the landfill-manure aroma won't transmit via any communication system currently known to exist. We are in touch with those smart kids from Princeton in hopes that they can get their "smellovision" prototype on-line by Saturday morning, but that appears to be a long shot.

 

[MissThundercat]

Re: 2014 Bottom-Feeders Bracket, Futile Four BRACKETOLOGY

The committee is intrigued by this possibility, but concerned that the landfill-manure aroma won't transmit via any communication system currently known to exist. We are in touch with those smart kids from Princeton in hopes that they can get their "smellovision" prototype on-line by Saturday morning, but that appears to be a long shot.

In the absence of Smell-O-Vision, WGVU has offered to do the pregame broadcast and analysis from the highest pile of trash in the landfill.

 

[Snively65]

Re: 2014 Bottom-Feeders Bracket, Futile Four BRACKETOLOGY

Is there any truth to the rumor that Barry the Mullett is defecting to join the Futile Four Morse Code broadcast team?

 

[Freddie]

Re: 2014 Bottom-Feeders Bracket, Futile Four BRACKETOLOGY

Is there any truth to the rumor that Barry the Mullett is defecting to join the Futile Four Morse Code broadcast team?

We DO have SOME standards, you know.

Plus, we couldn't afford his bar tab.

 

[Jim]

Re: 2014 Bottom-Feeders Bracket, Futile Four BRACKETOLOGY

I want to commend the committee on another fine event, but I also need to offer some constructive criticism. When you have an opportunity to play this in a dismal, dangerous place, you really have to do it. There was an opportunity to play the Futile Four at Penobscott Ice Arena in brewer Maine, but you failed to take advantage of the oppoetunity. Among th ehighlights of this pitiful facility were 4 inch gabs in the boards, feces on the floor, overflowing toilets (there were only 2), no heat in the locker rooms, and mold growing on the walls. At least on occasion there has also been no water in the locker rooms, though apparently not when the toilets overflowed. It was so bad teams were changing in their buses. Players were getting sick. The local health department was conducting a study to see if staph infections might be a threat. The facility was $11,000 in arrears for its sewer bill! And now what happened? New owners have invested in the place, cleaned it, made improvements, are replacing the boards!!! A grand opportunity squandered...Now the Futile Four will never again have the chance to play in a place where th eplayers health and well being is threatened. It is a travesty I say.