Religion: Communion Toast Crunch

[French Rage]

Charlie Berens furiously writing Pope FIB sketches as we speak…

SNL better be throwing out their cold open for this week and replacing it with a Bill Schwartzky's Super Fans one. I mean assuming any of them are still alive.

 

[Jimjamesak]

SNL better be throwing out their cold open for this week and replacing it with a Bill Schwartzky's Super Fans one. I mean assuming any of them are still alive.

 

[Bronco]

Does this finally mean that ketchup on hotdogs is a sin? I like to think so.

 

[Jimjamesak]

Alright, this one is the winner.

 

[FadeToBlack&Gold]

Does this finally mean that ketchup on hotdogs is a sin? I like to think so.

Issue that papal bull first thing tomorrow!

 

[unofan]

Importantly, he's a Cubs fan.

 

[jericho]

We should gift him a set of Katana Blades

 

[Deutsche Gopher Fan]

Importantly, he's a Cubs fan.

Steve Barton Pardon day!

 

[Scarlet]

New York Times Pitchbot (@nytpitchbot.bsky.social)

Donald Trump can still become pope if Mike Pence has the courage.

bsky.app

 

[FadeToBlack&Gold]

Vance and Dump are going to hate this guy.

Who is Robert Prevost, the new Pope Leo XIV and first American pope?

After a conclave that lasted only three sessions and 24 hours, 133 cardinals have elected Robert Prevost, now known as Pope Leo XIV.

www.bbc.com

 

[ScoobyDoo]

The new Pope seems to have nothing in common with the current Catholic Church in the United States.

 

[jericho]

“With the third pick in the 2025 Conclave, the Vatican Cardinals select….Robert Prevost, QB, Chicago”

 

[Jimjamesak]

“With the third pick in the 2025 Conclave, the Vatican Cardinals select….Robert Prevost, QB, Chicago”

*Mel Kiper Jr smashes laptop*

“Before Shadeur Sanders!?!?

 

[Jimjamesak]

SNL better be throwing out their cold open for this week and replacing it with a Bill Schwartzky's Super Fans one. I mean assuming any of them are still alive.

I’m now imagining John Mulaney dressed as the Pope, using his Detective JJ Bittenbinder voice.

 

[Deutsche Gopher Fan]

Don Moynihan (@donmoyn.bsky.social)

Cassocks are red Conclaves are dope Wake up babe we got a

bsky.app

 

[jericho]

*Mel Kiper Jr smashes laptop*

“Before Shadeur Sanders!?!?

Can you imagine if the draft were done like this? Take the favored top 5 picks, if one gets picked it’s white smoke, if not, black smoke. Watch the pundits go insane at each black smoke.

 

[state of hockey]

Importantly, he's a Cubs fan.

Not so fast.

dan sinker (@dansinker.com)

Best Chicago controversy of the new Pope is the Cubs trying to lay claim to him and his brother having to speak up to clear up that he's a Sox fan. https://blockclubchicago.org/2025/05/08/pope-leo-xiv-is-a-sox-fan-despite-early-cub-fan-reports/

bsky.app

 

[Kepler]

Shoeless Joe dispensatio in formâ commissâ mixtâ coming right up.

 

[Deutsche Gopher Fan]

Not so fast.

dan sinker (@dansinker.com)

Best Chicago controversy of the new Pope is the Cubs trying to lay claim to him and his brother having to speak up to clear up that he's a Sox fan. https://blockclubchicago.org/2025/05/08/pope-leo-xiv-is-a-sox-fan-despite-early-cub-fan-reports/

bsky.app

Maybe he can appear in Testosterone supplement commericals with the Big Hurt

 

[Kepler]

I hope this is why the new pope chose his name:

(Leo XIII) is well known for his intellectualism and his attempts to define the position of the Catholic Church with regard to modern thinking. In his famous 1891 encyclical Rerum novarum, Pope Leo outlined the rights of workers to a fair wage, safe working conditions, and the formation of trade unions, while affirming the rights to property and free enterprise, opposing both socialism and laissez-faire capitalism. With that encyclical, he became popularly titled as the "Social Pope" and the "Pope of the Workers", also having created the foundations for modern thinking in the social doctrines of the Catholic Church, influencing the thoughts of his successors.