Re: Youth Sports - How much is too much
The article was very thought-provoking, and I agree with many (although not all) of the comments from the other posters.
I agree completely with the issue of costs, on both sides of the borders. If not for help from family and friends, our daughter would not have had as many opportunities to participate in many of the more advanced offerings. The economic downturn was very hard on us, and we have still not recovered completely. It's easy to say "then don't do it," but that's not fair to our daughter. She was gifted with athletic talent (as, obviously, are the other girls on college teams) more than any other type of talent - like art, music, or even academics. Do you not honor that talent, and do as much as you can to help her make the most of her gifts? Nothing is guaranteed in hockey, of course, but working hard for many years certainly is the minimum standard that she and her teammates share in common.
If you can't participate in elite leagues, national camps, etc., there is frankly, virtually no chance of getting to play college hockey. The exceptional talent level of today's players is due in large part to the demanding training and playing schedules these girls have participated in. I remember watching women's college hockey a decade ago...the average player on today's college team is (in many ways) as good as some of the best players back in the day (not all, clearly). It's so much more fun to watch, isn't it? And, for the girls, I expect it's much more fun to play when your body is performing at such a high level - and you are playing with girls doing the same thing.
Many of these girls came from high school, and even boarding school teams, where they were the top player(s). The average high school female hockey player has improved, but still finds it difficult to consistently get a pass out of the zone, or pick the puck up along the boards consistently. Getting to play with teammates of equally high skill is one of the main things my daughter enjoys about college hockey, frankly.
Another point I'll take some issue with is the notion that academic scholarships are just tumbling out of the woodwork for students. My daughter is very smart, but has a learning issue that made formal learning very difficult in grade school. There were times when hockey was perhaps the only thing keeping her as focused as possible, and moving forward. Again, it's soooo easy to say "get an academic scholarship instead of an athletic one," but that's not at all realistic for *every* student. We took her to plenty of college women's games, and getting to know some of the older players was a huge gift. She had role models to help guide her decisions, and to keep her focused on her goal. Not only are academic scholarships hard to get overall, students with average GPA's will find few opportunities to attend the school of their choice this way. Even with scholarships, student loans are the norm.
She does have a hockey scholarship, and assuming all goes well, will graduate with virtually no debt - which is an enormous blessing in this day and age. Kids graduating with $20, 30, 40, 50,000 (or more) in college debt are starting their working life with chains around their feet. So many of their decisions will be driven by this debt and it will take many of them decades to pay it back. It will retard home buying, marriage, and having children. It will be an enormous drain on society. Did she work hard for a hockey scholarship? Yes, she did (and is still working very hard). Was it a goal worth pursuing? Absolutely. Am I thrilled for her? You bet. People who sneer at the idea of wanting an athletic scholarship to help pay for college clearly don't know the angst of trying to figure out how to help your child pay for it.
To my knowledge we (as parents) never once had to "force" her to do anything related to hockey. It was quite the opposite (like the young lady in the article). We had to help her balance the other demands in her life with practices, off-season hockey, other sports, and school. I know there were times we let hockey take priority over everything else, including school. For our daughter, at that time in her life, I think it was the right thing to do. Again, the goal with any child is to help them move forward and engage with life...and sometimes they need the carrot much more than any stick. Instead of forbidding her to go to practice with a "D" on a test, we encouraged her to continue playing and trying hard. This is an important life lesson to learn - and the academic path isn't the only way to get there.
We used to talk about "what school do you want to play hockey for?", too. It was fun. Of course, we never promised her such a thing would come to pass, nor did any of us ever *assume* it would happen. It would come up in conversation sometimes, and we'd use it as a fun motivational comment - "well, if you want to play for [insert college name here] some day, you're going to have to be a good student." Or maybe "I don't think I ever want to wear a [insert color of choice here] jersey. It would run in the laundry!" Said in a light hearted tone, it became part of our family "thing" if you will. I think some of what you're reading in print is easy to take out of context.
Does the family in this article seem rather extreme? A bit. Is there a problem with hockey being out of reach financially for many families? Definitely. College or not, it's a wonderful sport that *more* kids should have access to. It would be a huge help if more associations had scholarships, including for gear and equipment - and perhaps engaged some of the wealthier members of the community in helping make it happen. And as for "pond hockey", someone please explain why associations and rinks don't just open up arena ice for pick up games throughout the week? The ice is made - it's just sitting there. If you had age groupings throughout the day/evening, many more kids could jump in and just play for the fun of it. This would also help the kids and young people who get started with the game later on. A 15-year old isn't at all likely to play college hockey (although it has happened in a couple of cases), but they can start enjoying a life long sport.
