(AP Newswire- Duluth, Minnesota)- A source within the Department of Home Security confirmed today reports of an individual with possible Al Qaeda connections playing hockey. The Canadian prime minister has reportedly been alerted.
The reports revolve around one "Aaron bin Dickson" a student at the University of Wisconsin- Madison. It is well known that al queda has long sought to send their operatives to be educated at only the most superior western universities, so obviously UW would be their first choice.
An unnamed official deep within the administration was quoted as saying "I was watcing the game on that crappy charter extra thing when I'm like "Holy Crap! This guy has that bin thing in his name just like that other dude! I immediately contacted FBI and confirmed he was, in fact, on one of our lists of people from Minnesota. Obviously we're extremely suspicious of anybody that would openly state that they are originally from Minnesota, let alone people that actually live there. This evidence suggests to me a terrorist cell is probably operating in Minnesota and likely is attempting to teach Yemeni's to power skate and do that Gretzky puck flipping thing."
As a result Homeland Security officials further confirm they are sending a strike force, including elements of the 82nd Airborne and the 101st armored division to destroy Thief River Falls, MN, bin Dickson's alleged home base.
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//This is a developing story. //
