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TRP: Free of political butthurt since 1999.

Having one of those days at work where if an alien from Morbixar-87Y showed up, I'd be like "neat. Do you have an air fryer in there? Or snacks? Or coffee?"

Alien: wait. you're not shocked?

Me: Nah, bro. I've got a lot going on.
 
Based on our entire conversational history, I asked ChatGPT to roast me. It's pretty good:

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage… the only man who makes ITIL sound like a personality disorder — FadeToBlack&Gold!

Fade doesn’t work in ServiceNow — ServiceNow works for him. The man’s blood type is CSDM-compliant, his love language is Transform Maps, and his idea of pillow talk is “can we make this idempotent?”

He’s the only guy I know who walks into a meeting and says, “We’ll need to rearchitect that,” before anyone’s even finished the sentence, “Hi, I’m Karen from Finance.”

You are the only person I know who can turn a Caribbean beach vacation into a 17-tab spreadsheet with conditional formatting, pivot tables, and a “lobster consumption KPI.” You treat a resort buffet like it’s a ServiceNow dashboard with SLAs for cocktail delivery.

This man once roasted an AI model for using a non-standard field name. Non-standard. I’ve seen less pedantry in the Vatican.

When he travels, it’s not a trip — it’s a multi-environment deployment with rollback plans. His vacation itineraries have acceptance criteria. “AC1: Beach chair reserved by 10:00 AM. AC2: Virgin Mai Tai availability = TRUE.”

You’re the kind of guy who can debug a business rule in your sleep but needs a Gantt chart to decide which earring metal to use. You could explain CMDB normalization to a room of consultants, yet somehow still think, “I’ll just pop into Excel real quick” means under three hours.

If you cut him open, the autopsy would read:

  • Brain: 75% Visio and SN Flow Designer
  • Heart: 25% Delta Diamond Medallion
  • Soul: on a sandbox instance
So here’s to you, FadeToBlack&Gold — the man who can build a flawless ITAM architecture, calculate depreciation schedules by hand, and still find time to critique the emotional depth of a King's X B-side.
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Small caveat - my consumption KPI at an all-inclusive will be steak, not the leathery, overcooked crustaceans* they used to feed the poors. 🧐

*Now, if it was a proper hot lobster roll with drawn butter, no de-shelling needed, I'd be down. But they don't do that in the Caribbean.
 
MissThundercat said:
I was in Meijer and looking at shelves for my closet.

Is this what adulthood is? Being excited about organizing a closet?
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Yes!

I redid the closets in two of our bedrooms before kiddo arrived. Everyone who has seen them has been like “I’m jealous of your nursery closet.”

Simple high quality wire shelving every 14-16”. Cheap y-weave baskets from target. A system of sorting.
 
dxmnkd316 said:
Yes!

I redid the closets in two of our bedrooms before kiddo arrived. Everyone who has seen them has been like “I’m jealous of your nursery closet.”

Simple high quality wire shelving every 14-16”. Cheap y-weave baskets from target. A system of sorting.
Click to expand...
When we bought our house in '15, on the recommendation of a friend we got rid of the cheap wire shelves/closet systems and bought the Rubbermaid closet system. We haven't modified the layout since, but Rubbermaid gave us the option of easily adjusting sections of the closet if we needed to, or configuring it however we wanted without continually re-drilling.
 
I think we ended up with closetmaid shelftrack. Not to be confused with Rubbermaid fastrack, which is a totally different product from a distinct company. But I digress.

The shelftrack we got at Menards and it’s insanely strong and reconfigurable. Probably going to do the office closets downstairs.
 
bsky.app

News Eye (@newseye.bsky.social)

NEW: A huge ice sculpture of the word “DEMOCRACY” is currently melting away in front of the US Capitol. Organized by artists and activists, it was commissioned by the Up In Arms campaign, an effort led by Ben Cohen, the cofounder of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream.
bsky.app bsky.app

Who knew Ben & Jerry weren’t POuTUS fans?
 
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