Re: The Most Serious [x] Problem We Face Today
The most serious (real) problem is the deficit of trust. Without trust we will never be able to compromise, and without compromise we will never be able to face any of these other problems. If x and y are on opposite sides in a debate, x does not accept or address y's stated reasons, assuming he "knows" what y's hidden motive is. Often x thinks y's motivation is hidden even from y, and that y is a dupe for some other z. This makes y (understandably) defensive and angry, since who is x to tell him what he really thinks? Of course, y is probably assuming the same things about x simultaneously.
I agree with this observation.
It seems to me that this trust deficit is a symptom of a deeper problem, which is that people no longer know how to win graciously and accept victory (
an alternate way of stating that people are too invested in themselves and not sufficiently invested in social relationships, I suppose....).
For an example of what is lacking, look at Truman and Marshall and MacArthur at the end of WWII. Quite soon after the war was over, they reached out to the people of Japan and Germany and helped them begin to rebuild their countries. The message was clear: we have no quarrel with you, we were not fighting against you, it was the fact that your leaders went to war against us that caused you all this devastation. Now that those leaders have been removed (i.e.,
now that we have won); there is no longer any need to continue fighting, let's rebuild together and become allies.
In the past several decades, we've had some fractious societal debates about some "hot-button" topics, and eventually one side carried the day. However, even after they won, they did not declare victory and make peace with the vanquished; instead they kept fighting anyway. This subsequent overkill in turn engendered resentment and passive-aggressive resistance, and rather than both sides together enjoying the fruits of the peace that was easily at hand, we remain stuck and divided.
One of the clearest examples of this failure to accept victory is in racial relations. Hey, guys, the war for civil rights and equal treatment under the law and acceptance of you for who you are regardless of the color of your skin has been over for a long time. We all get it, we all agree, and for just about everyone under 25, they don't even have an experiential clue what all the fuss and bother is about, really, since all these events happened before they were born and they have no first-hand experience of these problems (outside of a few isolated pockets).
The most serious racial problem today is black-on-black crime, and it has been for years. However, there is a certain group that remains embedded in the past, because the so-called "struggle" became permanently institutionalized (which is probably why they could not declare victory! else they'd be out of a job). Now look at all the bizarre contortions they have to go through to try to turn the unfortunate death of Trayvon Martin into a racially-motivated incident, while dozens of black teens are killed by other black teens every month and these deaths go totally unnoticed and unlamented except by their immediate communities.
now just imagine instead if, 15 or 20 years ago, civil rights leaders had said, "great, we've got everything in place that we need now, the only thing left to do is make sure our children all grow up insulated and free of this past racial animus,*" and they reached out across all society to focus on human rights and human dignity and community safety for everyone regardless of color (i.e., they truly valued the "dream" of MLK Jr!!). We all would be so much better off under this latter scenario than we are under the current situation. A few people would have had to reinvent themselves, which, granted, can be challenging and difficult. Yet to say "I kept behaving badly because behaving properly was just too difficult, so cut me some slack, okay?" doesn't really come off all that well.
Outside of a few isolated pockets, just about the only vestiges of racism that remain today are, as Kepler so succinctly put it, inside the heads of those who accuse others of racism. Take away the (usually bogus) finger-pointing accusing others of racism, and there is hardly any racism at all left in the news!
There's two other prominent groups that also won their battle yet refused to declare victory that I'd like to describe as well....
* there was a great story in a letter to Jon Wertheim in his weekly tennis column in si.cnn.com this week that gives us a glimpse into this putative alternate universe:
"As long as we're continuing with questions about ... the continuing role of racism in tennis, I thought I would relate this story to give you a little hope for the world. My daughter's school does a 'sports hero day' every year where the kids dress up as their favorite sports hero. This year my 6year-old daughter chose to go as Serena Williams. I was wondering exactly how we were going to take a small strawberry blond child and convey 'Serena.' Turns out she had it all worked out -- she waltzed out this morning in a sparkly skirt and shirt with a tennis racket and ball in hand and said, 'I'm Serena!' and marched off to school. The notion that her skin and hair were a different color didn't even register in her 6-year-old brain. I can only hope that never changes."
Read more:
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/tennis/news/20120509/mailbag-madrid-blue-clay/#ixzz1uZrMO5Yx