What's new
By:
USCHO Fan Forum

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

  • The USCHO Fan Forum has migrated to a new plaform, xenForo. Most of the function of the forum should work in familiar ways. Please note that you can switch between light and dark modes by clicking on the gear icon in the upper right of the main menu bar. We are hoping that this new platform will prove to be faster and more reliable. Please feel free to explore its features.

Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Status
Not open for further replies.
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

I heard a rumor that Nintendo, The Heritage Foundation, and the creator of The Sims were in talks about joint development of an interactive video game about the US Constitution.

The working title? Wii the People
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Our town's elected leader has been in charge for awhile now, and has promised that his current term in office is his last one. However, he's been using the town's good credit rating to go on a bonding spree, taking on tens of millions of dollars in new debt to build a new firehouse, a new public works facility, a new senior center, ....

His political opponents are starting to complain about how he is acting out his edifice complex.
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Actual story:

Back when the swine flu was going around, I kept myself from getting too worked up about it by telling myself if I caught it I would buy myself a Nintendo Wii as soon as I healed, no questions asked.

The rationale was that I could go Wii, Wii, Wii all the way home.
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

When Larry LaPrise, the author of "Hokey Pokey" died, funeral arrangements went swimmingly until it came time to put him in the coffin. They put the left leg in....
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Maybe someone more adroit than I can make an off-color pun out of a person who gets a sex change operation for a male named Mike Hunt.....
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only one, as long as the light bulb is really motivated to change.
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

a horrific wildfire hit a town up in the mountains. the entire town was burned out except for the shoe store. the proprietor was the sole survivor.
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

The police report showed today that a guy was arrested for streaking, but they had to release him because of insufficient evidence.
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

A man noted for telling puns was locked into a dark closet, and told he would not be released until he made up a pun about the situation. He immediately shouted, "Oh, pun the door!"

I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way.
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

image%20(4330).jpg
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Did you hear about the optometrist who fell into a lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself?
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Why did the nitwit have "urine is yellow" tattooed on the back of his hand?

"So he could tell whether he was coming or going."
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

Frank Zamboni invented the famous machine we all know. Frank died in 1988 so he has been gone quite a while but still resurfaces periodically.
 
Re: Really Terrible Puns Vol 1

The therapist told the contortionist that his stress was nothing to get bent out of shape over.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top