First off, I've thought for some time that your state, my state and MI should secede and form our own country. The US is way too large and corrupt and a smaller country would give the people more control. The 3 states all have similar values and have a nice mix if rural and urban areas. So what do you say, as I like to put it when I want to do something, let's blow this popstand. Another reason to secede...now that I typed this I'm in the gov's data bank as a bad dude. The thing of it is I live right next to a rural airport, so when the drone is flying over head I won't even notice it. Not good.
Secondly, I didn't look at your list but from reading between the lines...your use of the word "intriguing" is code for "we have no viable option in net", though I think a 55" muskie flopping on the ice might be your best bet, though you will need more than 1 for sure.