Re: Gear Grinding 7: Really? This crap again?
I kind of want to put this on LinkedIn and watch my world burn. But self preservation dictates that I just say it here and be a little vague to be on the safe side. Might make this rant even more unreadable, but whatever, I just need to vent.
I wish I had the last five years of my career back.
Five years ago, I was a happy, developing, mid-20s engineer working for a company that makes things. It wasn't exciting, but I liked the people I worked with and the work well enough.
Then I took a new job after moving.
This place sells software that other people made and don't sell themselves. I'm a user of said software dating back to college. I liked my interactions implementing some software solutions with a competing vendor. Maybe I could work with their competitor and eventually do that? I won't start in projects, but until then I'll still provide engineering services. For two years, I do technical tasks (training, support, etc.) it goes well.
But I also had to do it alongside the biggest SOB I've ever met. This kid was the owner's youngest/most spoiled. He was unpolished and had a narrow worldview. Put it this way, he said some stuff to a LGBT employee that would've gotten him fired from any other company. To this day I'm shocked there wasn't a lawsuit.
He loved to gripe, especially when it meant complaining about other people (to mommy, daddy, big brother...). Over the four years, I must've heard him talk **** about 90% of the employees that went through that company. Of course... I know he's doing the same with me. More on this later.
I start doing more big time presentations for major accounts. I get noticed, and finally get transferred to the "consulting" group.
This means a new boss. He's different. Wouldn't work well with others, and also complains about everyone. It got PETTY. Our company put on a huge conference, which was to include some hands-on training sessions. The IT guy was deemed "incompetent" by him, so I and others had to drive in a day early (whilst my wife was 8+ months pregnant, mind you) just to unload files from a jump drive.
But what really got me with this guy was the lies. No bigger of a lie than that "all of my team are busy with consulting projects"and thus we can't contribute to other company efforts. That big conference? I was somehow "too busy" (I only had one project at the time: again, more on this in a bit), and so just had one training session and a lot of standing around despite being told months prior I'd have "a big part to play". Don't ask me about the performance review I never got.
But this boss did have one thing: a project management philosophy centered around good process auditing (can't improve what you don't understand) and solid Statement of Work documentation of deliverables, plans, etc.
For a while, I was successful. Not too many hits, but even my misses got GREAT feedback on our SOW documents and the auditing process. I felt like I was one big break away from something special. It wasn't much, really, but I doubled the subscription base on the product in a year. And we had a good pipeline of interested customers, more than at any point recorded in our CRM system.
But then... the owner's son and that one project and that "everyone is busy" lie all come to roost at the same time. Owner's son is trying to woo a big client with a project. Am I brought into the project right away, before the owner's son over-promises the impact? No. Was there any effort to actually define anything in a SOW before a quote is issued? No. Are they dreaming too big to see these as mistakes? Yup.
I'm told to write a SOW that's in hindsight a detail-free blank check. Of course, it doesn't go well. Every meeting, something new comes up. A simple "1st phase" project becomes a behemoth pursuit of "perfection".Deadlines come and go. People get annoyed. They aren't singing off until it meets what they want, not what they agreed to.
When we don't win any future business from the client, who do you think got the blame?
Now ownership wonders: How many billable hours am I bringing in? Only that much? Wasn't he "100% on projects"? This can't possibly be worth the investment in EoDS and his colleague. We should outsource this to consultants and cut them loose.
EoDS on the unemployment line. Because of some of my own failings? I'm not blameless. But also for lies and the lying liars who told them? Oh yeah.
But it's not so bad. Goodwill, well wishes and professional references are offered.
One salesman even helped me get in contact with a consultant who sees a future for my niche. He's already sold a project to customer, but doesn't have the personnel and needs my expertise NOW. I take this as a red flag and turn him down. He brings the Brinks truck. I can't refuse. My first day for this company is at an airport going to their client. Of course, by the time I show up, this client already has their eye on a new solution (my red flags well placed). But we agree on a scoped down, short term version of the proposal. They're happy enough, and give us a second project. Yay. No budget for #3 this year, and then they're moving on to a different solution. Boo.
I know from contacts made at other software vendors: they don't have the time for these projects, especially since I wasn't alone in seeing increased interest. They all express interest in partnership, but also lots of "let me talk to such and such a manager and get back to you". Meanwhile, several of my old customers come calling for me BY NAME. They want to work with me. GREAT! When do they want to start? Crickets. In a situation where THEY sought ME out, they can't even talk about scope for 5 MONTHS. If there isn't a market for my services, I've just been lied to by no fewer than 6 companies. At the end of one year, there are two customers, one of whom decided mid-project to ignore the SIGNED SOW and demand out-of-scope stuff. Choice: walk from one of my only clients or eat up a lot of extra time to complete what should've been a simple project.
So I've had three customers: one moving towards another solution before we even met and one complaining me into scope creep hell. Meager returns and the silent "interested" clients mean my consulting venture isn't sustainable. EoDS back on the market.
I get squared away with a new job quickly, but they need to wait until this week for me to start. Two weeks to kill.
Lo and behold, an old customer comes calling, asking for help. We have a good past, I'll see what I can do. It's a quickie, they say. We have a call to hash out details.
Call on a Monday. It's a problem with X. I ask some questions to verify that it's not Y or Z. We agree X is something I can do in a day, but I'll bill hourly at a cheap rate. We formalize some details over e-mail, but forgo a formal SOW that would've detailed the differences between X/Y/Z.
On Tuesday, I resolve their issue and test the solution by noon. I write a good detailed summary loaded with pointers for next steps. Only 3 hours billable, but whatever.
On Wendesday, I get the e-mail. "I'm disappointed..." I ask why, I get a BS answer about stuff related to Y and Z (ugh). It ends with some hyperbole about software capabilities (isn't true AND for ****s sake we've established this as out-of-scope). I ask a question to make sure we're on the same page and I don't hear from him again. This is is the straw that broke my back.
Call me crazy, but I'm guessing that this guy just knew that I wasn't going to contact a lawyer or hire some ruffian named Knuckles to force him to pay me a $400 bill, which I'm certain I've now officially been stiffed on.
So, I tried to be a consultant. I liked it. It had a glamour to it. I had the technical skills to be sure.
But I failed. I lost one job to lies. I lost another one twiddling my thumbs while others took their time. My brief solo career was... ugh. At every step in the way, my clients would try to weasel out of any level of documented agreement.
Everyone's word is useless. Even a signature on a document means nothing.
... of course, obviously being so bitter towards so many people likely means I'm more to blame than I let on. Maybe I'm not really that good at what I (tried to) do. Maybe I was too reliant on a planning process
that's prone to the need for greater flexibility (not sure how that'd have helped my "3 hour" debacle, though). Maybe my services don't pay off like I think?
But still... **** all those people. **** people who complain about everyone under the sun. **** the liars. **** the lack of professional respect or even decency. **** everyone weaseling out of agreements at the first chance. **** everyone looking for the easy scapegoat. **** everyone who led me on and their false hopes. **** everyone's assumptions. **** you, JK. **** you, AK. **** you, DK. **** you twice, BR. **** you, BS. **** you, CB. **** you, JR. **** you, AI. **** you, FU and TM. **** you, NG. **** you, JC. **** you most of all, MM (you weren't the first, you weren't the worst, but you were the last straw).
And **** me for thinking that I could make it in a field that I'm clearly not made to deal with, even with my technical skills. **** me for failing so spectacularly. I'm back in industry making things. I'm pretty sure I know what I'm doing, that I'm in a good company, and that I've learned more than I realize in these last years. Yet I'm still wrecked with self-doubt from my failures, terrified that I'm Charlie Brown and Lucy's pulling the football. So **** me.
TL;DR I tried to be a consultant and failed. I'm pretty sure I've spent the last five years of my life getting lied to for a living, and I'm not sure it was worth it.
