MissThundercat
Are the cis okay?
I accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles, now I'm experiencing consistent vowel movements. My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster!
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Dad jokes and Bad jokes. One in the same
- Thread starter jericho
- Start date
MissThundercat
Are the cis okay?
"When I put it in my mouth, do you want me to look you in the eyes?"
Cop: Would you please just blow into the breathalyzer?
Cop: Would you please just blow into the breathalyzer?
MissThundercat
Are the cis okay?
So the person who invented the Merry Go Round and the person who invented the Ferris Wheel never met in real life.
Guess they traveled in different circles.
Guess they traveled in different circles.
MissThundercat
Are the cis okay?
Guy fell off the roof of a nightclub and passed away.
Guess he wasn't a bouncer.
Guess he wasn't a bouncer.
wolverineTrumpet
not particularly bad
What takes longer, to run from first to second base or second to third base?
Second to third, there's a shortstop in between
Second to third, there's a shortstop in between
MissThundercat
Are the cis okay?
Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their grandson.
Grandpa was looking through the medicine cabinet and noticed their son was on Viagra.
Grandpa says "I want to take one!"
Grandson says "they're expensive, like $10 a pill."
Grandpa says "I don't care! I want to take one!"
The next morning, Grandson wakes up to find $110 on the table.
"Grandpa, what are you doing? They were only $10 each."
Grandpa smiles and says "$10 is from me. $100 is from Grandma!"
Grandpa was looking through the medicine cabinet and noticed their son was on Viagra.
Grandpa says "I want to take one!"
Grandson says "they're expensive, like $10 a pill."
Grandpa says "I don't care! I want to take one!"
The next morning, Grandson wakes up to find $110 on the table.
"Grandpa, what are you doing? They were only $10 each."
Grandpa smiles and says "$10 is from me. $100 is from Grandma!"
ticapnews
Never graduate.
Back in 1994 a movie was planned starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone and Bruce Willis as classical composers who teamed up to fight crime.
"I'll be Beethoven," said Stallone.
"I'll be Mozart," said Willis.
"I'm not saying it," said Schwarzenegger.
"I'll be Beethoven," said Stallone.
"I'll be Mozart," said Willis.
"I'm not saying it," said Schwarzenegger.
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MissThundercat
Are the cis okay?
People keep asking me if I know any Motown puns.
I know three, maybe four tops.
I know three, maybe four tops.
state of hockey
He fixes the cable?
Good, because Bach wasn’t a classical composer.
I actually am pretty fun at parties. Hard to believe, I know.
When it comes to partying, you go for Baroque?
MissThundercat
Are the cis okay?
So many people think Microsoft Excel is a flawed program.
Meanwhile, I rate it October the 10th.
Meanwhile, I rate it October the 10th.
state of hockey
He fixes the cable?
Pretty much. Too lazy for romance.
Kepler
Si certus es dubita
It was right there, man.
state of hockey
He fixes the cable?
That’s the joke I thought I was making, but it either autocorrected or I simply messed it up.
MissThundercat
Are the cis okay?
Dude asked me if I wanted to buy a coffin.
I told him that's the last thing I need.
I told him that's the last thing I need.
wolverineTrumpet
not particularly bad
ughh.....so annoying. Incel and Excel. Mostly for me Excel because my company has part numbers like 03-6712 and that Excel is programmed to think anyone in 2026 is planning for March of 6712 and will still be using a computer 4,000 years from now.....arggh. super fun when exporting data from erp system and excel changes every 4th part number to a date thousands of years in the future.
wolverineTrumpet
not particularly bad
Happy world day of safety and health.
Did you know that if you hold a hard hat up to your ear you can almost hear the OSHA?
Did you know that if you hold a hard hat up to your ear you can almost hear the OSHA?