Here's an analogy:
In 1978 your friendly local cable owner sends you a $100 check as a deposit for some cabinetry work you promise to do in the office next month, but before you can begin the work, your local cable company is the subject of a hostile takeover by Comcast. Subsequently your home cable goes wonky, continually cutting in "Hot 'n' Horny Housewives VI" in front of Grandma and the kids during the post Thanksgiving meal break. It's a bit disconcerting so you call and complain.
While taking a smoke break, the cable guy they sent out starts your shed on fire. In a panic he peels out of the driveway running over your dog and clipping the side of your new Chevy conversion van. You subsequently decide that maybe you don't want to work for these guys and try to send back the $100. But it turns out Comcast has "disappeared" the old office staff and you can't get past the recording to a real person on the customer service line at all. What can a guy do? Besides you're out a shed, a dog, and substantial body work on the ol' "shaggin' wagon". You decide maybe Dish Network isn't so bad after all, so after many long calls you switch over and forget about it.
Sometime later Comcast sues you for the $100 the previous owner gave you plus all the monthly bills since 1978 because they have no record of you canceling, despite you having recorded the 14 conversations in which you did. Shortly thereafter, you notice random cable guys stopping late at night to throw rocks at your windows. It's unclear whether this is directed by Comcast or it's simply because they just personally hate the Dish on your roof, (or both) although you do subsequently receive a letter in which the president of Comcast describes their new "Friends and Family" plan as one where they will commence fire bombing your friends and family if you don't comply. They actually get your little cousin with a RPG, but you kind of shrug it off because he was pretty annoying and did actually pee on your couch one time when he was six.
Finally, as the court date approaches, the cable guy kidnaps your wife.
Not really that big of a deal, but problematic since, despite your mother-in-law thinking you're some kind of weird pervert ever since Thanksgiving 1978, she still comes to visit occasionally and you can't stomach the thought of being stuck in a room alone with her. So you suck it up and dial 666 for Comcast and tell them you want your wife back. They tell you they would like to help but your account is showing a negative $73,000 balance... ...Good news, however! As a one time special favor, if you send them $292 and switch back on a two year contract with free HBO, they'll get the tech to bring your wife back and hook you up at the same time!
"Oh ok, fine, whatever. As long as it's clear I'm not paying a ransom for her. She'll never let me hear the end of it!"
"Of course not! And thank you for doing business with Comcast! Have a Great Day and remember, Death to all non-subscribers!"
The cable guy brings your wife back and hooks you up. While on a smoke break, he sets your shed on fire....
You also don't get HBO.
