KEVIN ROY TO LEAVE NORTHEASTERN, TRANSFER TO CANISIUS
Budding hockey star Kevin Roy has decided to leave Northeastern. He will be playing for the Canisius Griffs next season. The move will be announced by the Canisius Athletic Department tomorrow, but you heard it here first.
Northeastern Assistant Coach Jerry Keefe pulled no punches. “We’re deeply disappointed in Kevin, who as late as last week was telling us how much he loved Northeastern. We firmly believe that once a player makes a commitment to us, he should honor it. We’re especially upset by Canisius coach Dave Smith’s unethical behavior. There’s no room for poaching in college hockey. But Canisius knew what they were doing. They kept an admission slot open and saved a scholarship for Kevin. Once everybody else had made their offers for the year, Canisius pounced on Kevin.”
Reached by phone at his home in Lac Beauport, Quebec, M. Roy, Père was his usual blunt self: “Kevin became disillusioned while playing for an awful Northeastern team that finished last in the league with no prospect of moving up. Besides, Matthews Arena is a dump. The last straw was when a rat attacked Kevin as he was getting out the shower after the last practice of the season.”
But why Canisius? M. Roy, Père continued: “Buffalo is a great town and Canisius is a renowned Catholic school, known for instilling solid moral and ethical values in its students. Mme. Roy, Mère, and I believe that such values are paramount to our boy’s development. Besides, all Canisius needs to do to play in the national tournament is to beat a couple of Mickey-Mouse Atlantic Hockey teams. Kevin will shine. And Coach Smith promised Kevin his favorite number 15. That was the clincher.” But how about Derick? “Who’s Derick?”
Montreal-based journalist Pierre La Rondelle specializes in stories about hockey personalites and other hockey people who think they have a personality.