John J. MacInnes
Coach Emeritus
Happy to be assigned with Nimbus. Especially when it could have been Dunleavy or Anzalone.
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Bottom Feeders 23-24: There's the Basement, and Then There's These Guys.
- Thread starter MissThundercat
- Start date
BUPhD
Active member
John J. MacInnes
Coach Emeritus
Rumors abound that some results are imminent from the Northeast cemetery.
Waiting to hear how Nimbus did on his first Bottom Feeders officiating away from his home rink on the summit of Mount Washington.
John J. MacInnes
Coach Emeritus
Northeast Regional - Woodlawn Cemetery, Grand Rapids MI
Anchorage vs Miami
The RedHawks pulled in a little early to look for the tombstone of their former nickname, which had coincidentally been ceremonially buried there in 1994. Anchorage took that opportunity to start the game before their opponents showed up, which Nimbus did not mind as he was presented with a large salmon that the Seawolves had brought with them. Nimbus happily ate while UAA racked up goal after goal before disgraced and dismissed coach Chris Bergeron came in wildly gesticulating that the game should be restarted. Miss Thundercat had sent rules and instructions to Woodlawn, and placed them inside the perch designated for Nimbus to observe from during games. Bergeron tried to pull out the document - but inadvertently disturbed Nimbus as he finished off the salmon, and the startled cat delivered a mighty swipe to the cheek of the Miami ex-coach. The rest of the RedHawks decided to "No m?s" the remainder of the game and conceded to Anchorage with the score too far gone to recover.
UAA 27 Miami 0 - Miami "advances"
Brown vs BGSU
With their own ex-coach in tow, BG arrived at Woodlawn early and did not see anyone from Brown. They immediately tried the same tactic as Anchorage, and had accumulated a sizable lead before their former radio play-by-play voice Ryan Vallon happened to drive by on his way back to Muskegon and informed them that they were in the East portion of the cemetery. Nimbus was stationed in the West portion and that's where the games were being played. The Falcons high-tailed it and rushed across Kalamazoo Street SE and barged through the gates out of breath, smack dab in the middle of a burial ceremony. They caught their collective breath and stood quietly for the duration of the ceremony, and were then told that they were not in Woodlawn Cemetery but in the adjacent Oakgrove Cemetery. Gathering their gear again and running up the road, they encountered the Bears leaving on a dilapidated GRATA bus with a side picture of Nimbus on it. The banner read "Falcons Forfeit - Bears Benefit". Sticks and skates rained down on the bus, but Brown escaped and left BG in a huff. When Ty Eigner eventually found Nimbus, his complaints were met with a loud salmon-smelling hiss.
Brown 1 BGSU 0 - BGSU "advances"
Anchorage vs Miami
The RedHawks pulled in a little early to look for the tombstone of their former nickname, which had coincidentally been ceremonially buried there in 1994. Anchorage took that opportunity to start the game before their opponents showed up, which Nimbus did not mind as he was presented with a large salmon that the Seawolves had brought with them. Nimbus happily ate while UAA racked up goal after goal before disgraced and dismissed coach Chris Bergeron came in wildly gesticulating that the game should be restarted. Miss Thundercat had sent rules and instructions to Woodlawn, and placed them inside the perch designated for Nimbus to observe from during games. Bergeron tried to pull out the document - but inadvertently disturbed Nimbus as he finished off the salmon, and the startled cat delivered a mighty swipe to the cheek of the Miami ex-coach. The rest of the RedHawks decided to "No m?s" the remainder of the game and conceded to Anchorage with the score too far gone to recover.
UAA 27 Miami 0 - Miami "advances"
Brown vs BGSU
With their own ex-coach in tow, BG arrived at Woodlawn early and did not see anyone from Brown. They immediately tried the same tactic as Anchorage, and had accumulated a sizable lead before their former radio play-by-play voice Ryan Vallon happened to drive by on his way back to Muskegon and informed them that they were in the East portion of the cemetery. Nimbus was stationed in the West portion and that's where the games were being played. The Falcons high-tailed it and rushed across Kalamazoo Street SE and barged through the gates out of breath, smack dab in the middle of a burial ceremony. They caught their collective breath and stood quietly for the duration of the ceremony, and were then told that they were not in Woodlawn Cemetery but in the adjacent Oakgrove Cemetery. Gathering their gear again and running up the road, they encountered the Bears leaving on a dilapidated GRATA bus with a side picture of Nimbus on it. The banner read "Falcons Forfeit - Bears Benefit". Sticks and skates rained down on the bus, but Brown escaped and left BG in a huff. When Ty Eigner eventually found Nimbus, his complaints were met with a loud salmon-smelling hiss.
Brown 1 BGSU 0 - BGSU "advances"
John J. MacInnes
Coach Emeritus
Northeast Regional Final - Woodlawn Cemetery, Grand Rapids MI
BGSU vs Miami
Two teams that truly hate each other made for a great matchup that had the assistant Commish rubbing his hands in antici...
...pation.
Nimbus was treated to Yesterdogs and some windmill cookies from nearby Holland, and stoically munched away as the teams arrived. The Falcons and RedHawks were already jaw-jacking from the hop, and the BG staff taunted ousted coach Chris Bergeron who immediately retorted with a "pot calling the kettle black" barb to Ty Eigner. Those two dropped everything and started throwing haymakers at each other in a furious exchange, prompting all the other to join in a knock-down brawl. Grand Rapids police arrived but were dismissed by Nimbus who expressed that he would take full responsibility for the scene. As the combat slowed down, Nimbus paused between bites and instructed the assistant Commish to gather the teams for a description of how the contest would be decided. Six empty Founders kegs were produced, and the combatants were directed to a pair of open graves. Each team assigned one player to descend into each of the holes, each with an empty keg. Opposing players were stationed above on ground level by each. The winning team would be the first to get two players to escape a grave. The players above would alternate rounds of Rochambeau with the loser allowing the other to attack the opponent in the grave for 5 seconds, then the next round of Rochambeau would start.
Grave #1 (First Period) Seth Fyten vs Matt Barbolini
Fyten started the battle with an attack that smashed the hand of Barbolini between the two kegs, eliciting a loud yelp from the RedHawk. He was then not able to pick up the keg to defend himself, and Fyten rammed his keg down Barbolini's shin and broke his foot on the landing. On the rim above, Dalton Norris won his Rochambeau with Tom Daskas and kicked him in the groin. Norris used his five seconds to throw his stick into the back of Barbolini, incapacitating him. Fyten quickly stacked the two kegs and scrambled out of the grave, putting BG ahead 1-0.
Grave #2 (Second Period) Owen Ozar vs Dylan Moulton
Ozar tried the same move to start, but Moulton was wise to it and sidestepped the keg which hit the dirt and briefly stuck there. Ozar also left himself open and Moulton brained him from behind, knocking the Falcon unconscious. But above the hole, Brett Pfoh won the first Rochambeau with PJ Fletcher and hit a swift kick to the nether regions. Pfoh used his five seconds of attack to aim a kick at Moulton from above, knocking him off the keg he had tried to use to climb out. Moulton's landing got his ankle stuck between the kegs and a sickening crunch was audible to the crowd. The still unconscious Ozar was a non-factor, so Pfoh and Fletcher ran their second Rochambeau which Fletcher prevailed in. His groin shot to Pfoh doubled the Falcon over and in his five seconds Fletcher was able to reach a stick down to Moulton and help him part way out. The third Rochambeau was going to decide it, and Pfoh was late in the show which Nimbus called a foul. Fletcher took the win, hit Pfoh with a kill shot to the groin, and helped Moulton the rest of the way out to tie it at 1-1.
Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion.
BGSU vs Miami
Two teams that truly hate each other made for a great matchup that had the assistant Commish rubbing his hands in antici...
...pation.
Nimbus was treated to Yesterdogs and some windmill cookies from nearby Holland, and stoically munched away as the teams arrived. The Falcons and RedHawks were already jaw-jacking from the hop, and the BG staff taunted ousted coach Chris Bergeron who immediately retorted with a "pot calling the kettle black" barb to Ty Eigner. Those two dropped everything and started throwing haymakers at each other in a furious exchange, prompting all the other to join in a knock-down brawl. Grand Rapids police arrived but were dismissed by Nimbus who expressed that he would take full responsibility for the scene. As the combat slowed down, Nimbus paused between bites and instructed the assistant Commish to gather the teams for a description of how the contest would be decided. Six empty Founders kegs were produced, and the combatants were directed to a pair of open graves. Each team assigned one player to descend into each of the holes, each with an empty keg. Opposing players were stationed above on ground level by each. The winning team would be the first to get two players to escape a grave. The players above would alternate rounds of Rochambeau with the loser allowing the other to attack the opponent in the grave for 5 seconds, then the next round of Rochambeau would start.
Grave #1 (First Period) Seth Fyten vs Matt Barbolini
Fyten started the battle with an attack that smashed the hand of Barbolini between the two kegs, eliciting a loud yelp from the RedHawk. He was then not able to pick up the keg to defend himself, and Fyten rammed his keg down Barbolini's shin and broke his foot on the landing. On the rim above, Dalton Norris won his Rochambeau with Tom Daskas and kicked him in the groin. Norris used his five seconds to throw his stick into the back of Barbolini, incapacitating him. Fyten quickly stacked the two kegs and scrambled out of the grave, putting BG ahead 1-0.
Grave #2 (Second Period) Owen Ozar vs Dylan Moulton
Ozar tried the same move to start, but Moulton was wise to it and sidestepped the keg which hit the dirt and briefly stuck there. Ozar also left himself open and Moulton brained him from behind, knocking the Falcon unconscious. But above the hole, Brett Pfoh won the first Rochambeau with PJ Fletcher and hit a swift kick to the nether regions. Pfoh used his five seconds of attack to aim a kick at Moulton from above, knocking him off the keg he had tried to use to climb out. Moulton's landing got his ankle stuck between the kegs and a sickening crunch was audible to the crowd. The still unconscious Ozar was a non-factor, so Pfoh and Fletcher ran their second Rochambeau which Fletcher prevailed in. His groin shot to Pfoh doubled the Falcon over and in his five seconds Fletcher was able to reach a stick down to Moulton and help him part way out. The third Rochambeau was going to decide it, and Pfoh was late in the show which Nimbus called a foul. Fletcher took the win, hit Pfoh with a kill shot to the groin, and helped Moulton the rest of the way out to tie it at 1-1.
Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion.
John J. MacInnes
Coach Emeritus
BGSU vs Miami
Grave #3 (Third Period) Adam Schankula vs Rihards Simanovics
As Schankula jumped into the empty grave to start the decisive 3rd he glanced off one of the kegs and landed on his ankle, snapping it instantly. Simanovics was already in the grave waiting and picked up a keg to finish him off...only for Nimbus to let loose with a loud caterwaul and hiss that stopped everyone in their tracks. The assistant Commish translated that Nimbus had declared that BG could have a substitute but only of his choosing. Bergeron loudly protested but was met with a swipe across the other cheek from the enraged cat and dropped to his knees incapacitated. Then with an almost imperceptible nod to the distance, the replacement Falcon emerged from behind the trees.
Austen Swankler.
The one-time BG star eagerly vaulted into the fray, and a surprised Simanovics hesitated in reacting. But as Swankler was rearing up to deliver a hammer blow, his shoe ripped and threw him off balance. It was later revealed that this shoe had gone missing from the Bowling Green equipment room. Swankler then gesticulated with wild claims that he had no idea where the shoe came from, and from his pocket produced a form that revealed his intent to transfer to Miami. At ground level, Miami's Logan Neaton won the first Rochambeau with Brody Waters and lifted the Falcon off the ground with a groin shot. Swankler and Simanovics both climbed out of the grave, and Nimbus accepted the transfer portal application while declaring Miami the winner of the contest (but under his salmon-laced breath muttered that the RedHawks were about to lose the war if the transfer stuck).
Miami 2 BGSU 1 - BG "advances" to the Futile Four.
Grave #3 (Third Period) Adam Schankula vs Rihards Simanovics
As Schankula jumped into the empty grave to start the decisive 3rd he glanced off one of the kegs and landed on his ankle, snapping it instantly. Simanovics was already in the grave waiting and picked up a keg to finish him off...only for Nimbus to let loose with a loud caterwaul and hiss that stopped everyone in their tracks. The assistant Commish translated that Nimbus had declared that BG could have a substitute but only of his choosing. Bergeron loudly protested but was met with a swipe across the other cheek from the enraged cat and dropped to his knees incapacitated. Then with an almost imperceptible nod to the distance, the replacement Falcon emerged from behind the trees.
Austen Swankler.
The one-time BG star eagerly vaulted into the fray, and a surprised Simanovics hesitated in reacting. But as Swankler was rearing up to deliver a hammer blow, his shoe ripped and threw him off balance. It was later revealed that this shoe had gone missing from the Bowling Green equipment room. Swankler then gesticulated with wild claims that he had no idea where the shoe came from, and from his pocket produced a form that revealed his intent to transfer to Miami. At ground level, Miami's Logan Neaton won the first Rochambeau with Brody Waters and lifted the Falcon off the ground with a groin shot. Swankler and Simanovics both climbed out of the grave, and Nimbus accepted the transfer portal application while declaring Miami the winner of the contest (but under his salmon-laced breath muttered that the RedHawks were about to lose the war if the transfer stuck).
Miami 2 BGSU 1 - BG "advances" to the Futile Four.
I am simply amazed that Nimbus has become such a creative and demonstrative force as a ref in this year’s Bottom Feeders tournament now that he is away from his home rink on the summit of Mount Washington where in past years he would simply run off with the puck when he was not happy with the play on the ice.
MissThundercat
Are the cis okay?
The Midwest Regional will most likely be up by Thursday evening.
MissThundercat
Are the cis okay?
Arizona State vs. Fairbanks.
Turned into a street fight from the jump. While detais are fuzzy, all members of both teams are cooling at the jail on Fulton St.
Fairbanks "advances" on the Commissioner's decision.
Turned into a street fight from the jump. While detais are fuzzy, all members of both teams are cooling at the jail on Fulton St.
Fairbanks "advances" on the Commissioner's decision.