What's new
USCHO Fan Forum

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

  • The USCHO Fan Forum has migrated to a new plaform, xenForo. Most of the function of the forum should work in familiar ways. Please note that you can switch between light and dark modes by clicking on the gear icon in the upper right of the main menu bar. We are hoping that this new platform will prove to be faster and more reliable. Please feel free to explore its features.

a cowboy named bud

mookie1995

there's a good buck in that racket.
ubject: A cowboy named Bud
A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3® cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany ...

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry® and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep.

Now give me back my dog.


AND THAT FOLKS IS WHAT THE PROBLEM IS ALL ABOUT
 
Re: a cowboy named bud

I have done enough work in and around state and national government to see very little humor in that 'story'.

The next version would be the person stopping to address the leak in your yard as reported by some agrieved party, doing lots of studies, determining via dubious assumptions they could pay for another major initiative by fixing your leak, flooding your house trying to stop the leak, realizing none of the benefits promised when getting funding for this fix and then learning it was just your lawn sprinkler all along.

As long as 51% ofthe public thinks the entire problem is the other 49% of the people then the government (most of which isn't negatively impacted by change in party) just keeps chuckling as it continues on its merry way of mediocrity, waste, red tape and confusion. The change in party actually sustains the stop/start mentality that reduces the likelihood anybody gets a feel for reducing the size and cost of government in the brief time they are 'in charge'.
 
Re: a cowboy named bud

fishhook.jpg


Wait for it. Waaaaaaaait for it...
 
Re: a cowboy named bud

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/0wNKdbMkijM" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>a
 
Back
Top