In the spirit of breaking the summer doldrum's previously done by a tri-color hatted poster, here is my attempt to lighten the fray.
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Saw that a new college called Western Univ of Horticulture And Nature (WUHAN) will go D1 in hockey. I know that there was quite a bit of chattering about this topic last year and a decent amount of posters were fearful that this Novel program was going to affect EVERYONE in college hockey (listen to the Science), not just .05% of the teams in the end. The WU thread was eventually moved to the Division 5 Forum - easier and less scary to post there unchallenged I guess, with only minor interruptions from Mom yelling down time for dinner. I see this one-sided debate continues on there, but has now morphed into being petrified about some new fraternity on campus - Delta Delta Delta.
Speaking of the college "name", there were some on here who always wanted to call it WUHAN, but others said that if you did, then you were biased against Eastern hockey. A rather vocal contingent of fans from last place teams (basement dwellers) were even attempting to say that the "name" blame rests with a certain Leader with uniquely colored hair (said the color is called Im Peach?). Now that fans are finally looking at game replays from last year and listening to new information coming to light, pretty safe to say that the name surely originated as WUHAN, but probably not from where we first believed. Please read the following and let me know if we should have used the name all along.
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"How can you tell with such certainty" you ask?. Well allow me to relay a story from a chinese cousin concerning a court case he was handling (he just passed the bar). Seems he was defending a family member and his friend originally from of all places New York (both grads of Univ of Utah) who had a run-in at a local market. The prosecution team, led by Zir Ly Nah, Ze Yus My Handman and Rhu Phus (she/her), alleged these New Yorkers were the ones who created a name problem at the local market. They rejected the theory put forth by the defense that the market, or a closely guarded store nearby (some type of jewelry store), could have created the name incident by themselves and then kept this info a closely guarded secret. How these locals were describing the alleged criminal act didn’t add up to My Cousin (could it be his funny accent), there again he was more street smart than their ivy league (or wannabee) smart. Most of the self-professed "highly intelligent" locals dismissed him and his whole lot as just racist, dumb in-breds who could be easily stomped if we even acknowledged their existence (maybe they are from Taiwan?). I guess the case came down to some picture that needed to be interpreted.
Well, let me get to his rendition of the case and then I can let you be the judge if he was successful. As the defense took the ice, My Cousin, XiNnie, was skating thru the witnesses starting with Mr WHO, poking holes in each of their stories but the fact deaf prosecution team kept telling him he was wrong, and really stupid. And, his credentialed "name" experts with hundreds of peer reviewed game films were not credible, just shills for the new B10 conference. They also said My Cousin didn’t dress well. His shabby dress excuse, and I am not making this up, was because all the local stores and dry cleaners were closed due to a really bad Flu. Outside the arena, My Cousin kept getting pummeled as incompetent and dangerous by the town gossippers (their term, but maybe similar to our news reporters???) and they said the rest of the town folk needed to revoke his law license because he was very un-lawyerly.
Then, while waiting for his local, gritty textured breakfast at the open air store in Wuhan named the Wehtt Supermarket, he remembered a picture taken a few months earlier at the same store showing some metallicy, uneven piles of droppings. The piles were right under what were marketed as "free range gourmet bats" for sale. Boom, siren goes off, he might have a new angle to explore that could exonerate the two Utes , but the only person who may be able to assist was his fiance, Ms XiTo. Previously, everyone thought that she was smoke-show hot but Bat Sh!t CR@Z%. In reality, she was a self-taught bat expert and maybe she could help the defense and interpret the picture?
Ms XiTo took the stand that day in Wuhan Federal Court and the prosecutors screamed that she didn’t know what she was talking about, twisted facts, made up stuff and dare I say, "doesn't answer the questions!" (she said bu!!$h1t questions). My Cousin XiNnie, then showed her the picture and her eyes lit up. The conversation then went something like this from what I was told;
MC XiNnie: "Does the defense case hold water?"
Ms XiTo: "No, it does not!
MC XiNnie: "How can you be so sure by simply looking at a picture?"
Ms XiTo: "There is no way that this guano pile came from the ass of a local bat. If it was a Wehttmarket brand bat, these dropping would surely be in a flat pile because of their solid buttocks. Just ask anyone who has walked over a Wuhan guano pile in the middle of a pandemic and they know how flat it is. The Guano in this picture rides up on the right side and is uneven. Has to come from a Horseshoe Bat that has an independent rear sphincter."
MC XiNnie:" Are Horseshoe bats sold here in Wuhan?"
Ms XiTo: "No, the horseshoe bat isn't sold within 500 miles of here. The only local store that may have any horseshoe bats is the Wuhan KaRat Jewelry store, but that place is like really locked up and nothing is for sale. Heard they don’t pay well, even though some small, old man from overseas sends them piles of cash in boxes deceptively marked as office supplies, then tells them to use a single post it note one day, zero the next and then two or more a month later (??), whateva. So to make extra Yuan, the KaRat technicians sometimes barter some of their bats to the Wehttmarket."
MC XiNnie: "Do both bats cr@p in metallic mint green?"
Ms ViTo: "They DO!
MC XiNnie: "With dat, I would like to recall Constable Fahr Li to the stand".
Con Fahr Li: "On a hunch, …………………….
THIS USER ACCOUNT HAS BEEN TEMPORARILY SUSPENDED FOR SPREADING FALSE CLAIMS
___________________________
Saw that a new college called Western Univ of Horticulture And Nature (WUHAN) will go D1 in hockey. I know that there was quite a bit of chattering about this topic last year and a decent amount of posters were fearful that this Novel program was going to affect EVERYONE in college hockey (listen to the Science), not just .05% of the teams in the end. The WU thread was eventually moved to the Division 5 Forum - easier and less scary to post there unchallenged I guess, with only minor interruptions from Mom yelling down time for dinner. I see this one-sided debate continues on there, but has now morphed into being petrified about some new fraternity on campus - Delta Delta Delta.
Speaking of the college "name", there were some on here who always wanted to call it WUHAN, but others said that if you did, then you were biased against Eastern hockey. A rather vocal contingent of fans from last place teams (basement dwellers) were even attempting to say that the "name" blame rests with a certain Leader with uniquely colored hair (said the color is called Im Peach?). Now that fans are finally looking at game replays from last year and listening to new information coming to light, pretty safe to say that the name surely originated as WUHAN, but probably not from where we first believed. Please read the following and let me know if we should have used the name all along.
__________________________
"How can you tell with such certainty" you ask?. Well allow me to relay a story from a chinese cousin concerning a court case he was handling (he just passed the bar). Seems he was defending a family member and his friend originally from of all places New York (both grads of Univ of Utah) who had a run-in at a local market. The prosecution team, led by Zir Ly Nah, Ze Yus My Handman and Rhu Phus (she/her), alleged these New Yorkers were the ones who created a name problem at the local market. They rejected the theory put forth by the defense that the market, or a closely guarded store nearby (some type of jewelry store), could have created the name incident by themselves and then kept this info a closely guarded secret. How these locals were describing the alleged criminal act didn’t add up to My Cousin (could it be his funny accent), there again he was more street smart than their ivy league (or wannabee) smart. Most of the self-professed "highly intelligent" locals dismissed him and his whole lot as just racist, dumb in-breds who could be easily stomped if we even acknowledged their existence (maybe they are from Taiwan?). I guess the case came down to some picture that needed to be interpreted.
Well, let me get to his rendition of the case and then I can let you be the judge if he was successful. As the defense took the ice, My Cousin, XiNnie, was skating thru the witnesses starting with Mr WHO, poking holes in each of their stories but the fact deaf prosecution team kept telling him he was wrong, and really stupid. And, his credentialed "name" experts with hundreds of peer reviewed game films were not credible, just shills for the new B10 conference. They also said My Cousin didn’t dress well. His shabby dress excuse, and I am not making this up, was because all the local stores and dry cleaners were closed due to a really bad Flu. Outside the arena, My Cousin kept getting pummeled as incompetent and dangerous by the town gossippers (their term, but maybe similar to our news reporters???) and they said the rest of the town folk needed to revoke his law license because he was very un-lawyerly.
Then, while waiting for his local, gritty textured breakfast at the open air store in Wuhan named the Wehtt Supermarket, he remembered a picture taken a few months earlier at the same store showing some metallicy, uneven piles of droppings. The piles were right under what were marketed as "free range gourmet bats" for sale. Boom, siren goes off, he might have a new angle to explore that could exonerate the two Utes , but the only person who may be able to assist was his fiance, Ms XiTo. Previously, everyone thought that she was smoke-show hot but Bat Sh!t CR@Z%. In reality, she was a self-taught bat expert and maybe she could help the defense and interpret the picture?
Ms XiTo took the stand that day in Wuhan Federal Court and the prosecutors screamed that she didn’t know what she was talking about, twisted facts, made up stuff and dare I say, "doesn't answer the questions!" (she said bu!!$h1t questions). My Cousin XiNnie, then showed her the picture and her eyes lit up. The conversation then went something like this from what I was told;
MC XiNnie: "Does the defense case hold water?"
Ms XiTo: "No, it does not!
MC XiNnie: "How can you be so sure by simply looking at a picture?"
Ms XiTo: "There is no way that this guano pile came from the ass of a local bat. If it was a Wehttmarket brand bat, these dropping would surely be in a flat pile because of their solid buttocks. Just ask anyone who has walked over a Wuhan guano pile in the middle of a pandemic and they know how flat it is. The Guano in this picture rides up on the right side and is uneven. Has to come from a Horseshoe Bat that has an independent rear sphincter."
MC XiNnie:" Are Horseshoe bats sold here in Wuhan?"
Ms XiTo: "No, the horseshoe bat isn't sold within 500 miles of here. The only local store that may have any horseshoe bats is the Wuhan KaRat Jewelry store, but that place is like really locked up and nothing is for sale. Heard they don’t pay well, even though some small, old man from overseas sends them piles of cash in boxes deceptively marked as office supplies, then tells them to use a single post it note one day, zero the next and then two or more a month later (??), whateva. So to make extra Yuan, the KaRat technicians sometimes barter some of their bats to the Wehttmarket."
MC XiNnie: "Do both bats cr@p in metallic mint green?"
Ms ViTo: "They DO!
MC XiNnie: "With dat, I would like to recall Constable Fahr Li to the stand".
Con Fahr Li: "On a hunch, …………………….
THIS USER ACCOUNT HAS BEEN TEMPORARILY SUSPENDED FOR SPREADING FALSE CLAIMS
