Worthless Offseason Poll #5: Who Pays?

[The Rube]

No, this isn't about Ilya Kovalchuk.

Dating/relationships. Men(dot)com had their survey and this stat kinda stuck out to me. No, I am not a regular reader, I picked it up via Yahoo headlines.

Despite all this (my insert, paraphrased: "women are more comfortable than men in a relationship where their partner is making more money"), 4 out of 5 men still believe that they should pay for all dates, for the duration of the relationship or at least until it’s established. On the other hand, less than 25% of women said that their partner should always pick up the bill.

What say you?

 

[bostonewe]

Re: Worthless Offseason Poll #5: Who Pays?

Interesting to see if we get more than 3 responses. I've always been of the belief that things should be shared. If one person has more money at one point and wants to pay more, that's fine. But overall, expenses should be shared.

 

[MinnesotaNorthStar]

Re: Worthless Offseason Poll #5: Who Pays?

The "John"...I thought that was obvious.

 

[Kepler]

Re: Worthless Offseason Poll #5: Who Pays?

Women always pay. The currency varies.

 

[jmh]

Re: Worthless Offseason Poll #5: Who Pays?

I'd go for a hybrid of a few of these answers. I think a guy should generally pick up the check for the first couple of dates (especially bearing in mind that first dates these days, at least where I live, tend to be a couple of drinks or a coffee rather than something more elaborate), but a woman should start chipping in before it gets to the "long-term" point. It's not 1950, the vast majority of single women work and I think dating practices should and do generally tend to reflect that. Speaking in maybe an over-generalization, women who refuse to pay for anything are either old-fashioned ("this is the way gender roles work") or arrogant ("you're lucky that I even agreed to go out with you, it's your responsibility to make this worth my while") or dinner whores ("I'm not interested, I'm just here for the free meal"). Obviously, as bostonewe points out, exceptions can be made where there's a significant disparity in income; if a Goldman Sachs I-banker is dating a graduate student, the banker should be picking up the majority of the checks (regardless of which person is which gender).

Going a little further, in that kind of situation I think it's appropriate for the person with less money not to push for expensive activities that the person with more money will wind up paying for; that starts to edge back into dinner whore/sugar baby territory. (Until the LTR phase, anyway.)

 

[bigblue_dl]

Re: Worthless Offseason Poll #5: Who Pays?

Women always pay. The currency varies.

exactly

 

[legal_hit]

Re: Worthless Offseason Poll #5: Who Pays?

I'd go for a hybrid of a few of these answers. I think a guy should generally pick up the check for the first couple of dates (especially bearing in mind that first dates these days, at least where I live, tend to be a couple of drinks or a coffee rather than something more elaborate), but a woman should start chipping in before it gets to the "long-term" point. It's not 1950, the vast majority of single women work and I think dating practices should and do generally tend to reflect that. Speaking in maybe an over-generalization, women who refuse to pay for anything are either old-fashioned ("this is the way gender roles work") or arrogant ("you're lucky that I even agreed to go out with you, it's your responsibility to make this worth my while") or dinner whores ("I'm not interested, I'm just here for the free meal"). Obviously, as bostonewe points out, exceptions can be made where there's a significant disparity in income; if a Goldman Sachs I-banker is dating a graduate student, the banker should be picking up the majority of the checks (regardless of which person is which gender).

Going a little further, in that kind of situation I think it's appropriate for the person with less money not to push for expensive activities that the person with more money will wind up paying for; that starts to edge back into dinner whore/sugar baby territory. (Until the LTR phase, anyway.)

This.

I will add that if the girl asks the guy out, she should expect to pay for the date.