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Manhunt Begins as Local Man Goes Missing for 100 Days

Chuck Murray

WIS & Effingwoods Hockey Almanac
WAKEFIELD (WIS) - A local man with a prominent pseudo-leadership role in a regional college hockey alliance has recently been reported to local officials as "missing" after failing to report for work at his job for 100 days in a row.

Reporters from the Effingwoods Hockey Almanac learned overnight from anonymous, incredible sources in law enforcement that a man by the name of Steve Metcalf has not been seen or heard from since late July. His organization - the seen-better-days Hockey East Association, which maintains its World Headquarters locally near Lake Quannapowitt - has officially gone silent since their last communication dated 29 July 2020, at which time they proclaimed their plans to stage a 2020-2021 college hockey season. But with less than 60 days left in calendar year 2020 - and no sign of their recently-appointed but now painfully absent commissioner-elect - what remains of the Hockey East membership fan base are starting to ask questions, and there have literally been no responses.

Attempts to reach the HEA staff by phone and e-mail for comments have gone unanswered, with some calls forwarded to an unlisted North Andover MA phone number, and e-mails curiously forwarded to the Merrimack College Athletics website. An intrepid EHA reporter attempted to visit the HEA World HQ this morning, and was only able to encounter a masked janitor answering to the nickname "Buttons", who suggested that our reporter should "just fuggedaboudit, I'd hate to see you have an accident or sumptin'." At around the same time, State Police had ominously begun to trawl the waters of nearby Lake Q.

Metcalf reportedly speaks with a clipped British/American accent, and sometimes answers to the name "Nigel" for some unknown reason. A rare video clip dating back to 2013 when Metcalf was an associate assistant alternate AD at UNH has begun to be circulated in hopes that "Nigel" (or less-known nicknames like "Speed Bump" or "Tosser") will be recognized and located, since literally no one knows what he looks or sounds like.

Watch this space for updates to this developing story ...
 
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You Inner Passion in Your Heart. Everyone -every person in this world has a Dream: a passion, a vision in their life that pulls them and urges them to move forward in life. You, my friend have this vision within you, it "whispers" to you occasionally, but in some cases it cries out. It cries out to be listened to and acted upon because this vision comes from your soul. Find your inner fire, your sense of purpose; this fire will help you harness strengths you're not even aware you have.montreal home improvement near me Be connected with your inner passions - your Life's Dreams, and live that passion every day.

DAY 104 - No Sign of "Nigel"

Folks at the EHA have begun to pore over this very curious (and likely secretly coded) message which just surfaced overnight for potential clues on the current whereabouts of HEA president-in-absentia Steve "Tosser" Metcalf. We've dispatched a couple of operatives for the Great White North given the invocation of "Montreal" in the coded message. Border passage will have to be unconventional, since the US-Canada border restrictions remain in place, but WIS agents have worked around this issue in the past, and we expect our men on the ground to have a report for us in the next few days.

In the meantime, "Buttons" the masked janitor has been taken into protective custody by the MA State Police whose nautical division continues to trawl Lake Quannapowitt for reasons that haven't quite been explained yet. Anyone with information that might assist in locating the missing HEA pseudo-executive is encouraged to share the info on this thread OR to go through the super-secure WIS/ETA thread currently located on Page 2.

As they say in the biz, this is a developing story, so do stay tuned ...
 
DAY 118 - Games On and Games Off, But "Tosser" Still MIA

After a couple of weeks of potential leads and raised hopes for the re-emergence of Steve "Tosser" Metcalf in the aftermath of his organization scheduling (and then mostly postponing or cancelling) games in a false start to the college hockey season, hopes have again receded for both the resumption of D-1 hockey AND for the discovery of the long-missing commish, who was last seen on retired UNH Head Coach Dick Umile's yacht on Bow Lake sometime around the July 4th holiday weekend.

"Speed Bump" was last accounted for in a 29 July 2020 press release, in which he promised that his organization would indeed be conducting a hockey season this year. EHA reporters have been monitoring the ongoing efforts by the MA State Police to trawl Lake Quannapowitt near HEA HQ for signs of the commish-elect, and have since determined similar efforts are underway by NH Fish & Game at Bow Lake more recently, following up a not-so-anonymous tip by the mysterious "Buttons" character often seen mumbling to himself on the mean streets of Wakefield. Calls to the Merrimack Asst. AD's offices have also gone unanswered. With the matter now seen as crossing state lines, the FBI is expected to join the manhunt soon.

Stay tuned for further updates ...
 
Day 120 - A Bad Omen for the Safe Return of "Speed Bump"??

An alert reader wrote to the EHA staff earlier today, after stumbling upon this little nugget:

Dear WIS,

Did you notice the listing for HEA commissioner on the USCHO Hockey East home page?


https://www.uscho.com/conference/hockey-east

Hockey East | Men's Hockey Conference Page | College Hockey | USCHO.com

This can't be good news for that poor "Tosser" fellow's safe return. So sad.

Might explain the presence of that shady "Buttons" character though?

Thoughts and prayers. Godspeed, we hardly knew ye.

A. Nony Muss
 
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