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Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

MissThundercat

MissThundercat

Are the cis okay?
Hi, it's Amber Marie, and out of a dingy office in Holland, MI, we're bringing back what you want to see: Teams that are the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked. We added a midseason tournament in the NoWINS Classic. We brought on a few more people to help write results... even though these results will never be delivered in a timely manner... we're still relying on carrier pigeons!

But the commish does have a heart, and we're laying off the Alaska schools. Hard to mock teams that Thanos can snap and erase. We genuinely don't want Thanos to snap and erase them.
 
Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

What are the rules for this year's regional and Futile Four site bids, Madam Commish?
 
Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

FadeToBlack&Gold said:
What are the rules for this year's regional and Futile Four site bids, Madam Commish?
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Same as they ever were. Hard to reach, dilapidated, no possible tourist destinations, and we are adding weight to mice/rat/cockroach infestations and carbon monoxide. Definitely no in-house wifi. For a place like Mt. Washington, for the last couple years, teams have been complaining about the weather AND location, so we'll keep them in mind for the East again.
 
MissThundercat said:
Same as they ever were. Hard to reach, dilapidated, no possible tourist destinations, and we are adding weight to mice/rat/cockroach infestations and carbon monoxide. Definitely no in-house wifi. For a place like Mt. Washington, for the last couple years, teams have been complaining about the weather AND location, so we'll keep them in mind for the East again.
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Mount Washington is amazing, I don’t understand the complaints. I hear Baltimore is a suitable site though?

r
 
Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

cetihcra said:
Mount Washington is amazing, I don’t understand the complaints. I hear Baltimore is a suitable site though?

r
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People don't like playing in winds that can blow you off the mountain. I don't know, as Commish, all complaints go in that little slot in the office wall over there, where a shredder awaits.
 
Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

MissThundercat said:
Same as they ever were. Hard to reach, dilapidated, no possible tourist destinations, and we are adding weight to mice/rat/cockroach infestations and carbon monoxide. Definitely no in-house wifi. For a place like Mt. Washington, for the last couple years, teams have been complaining about the weather AND location, so we'll keep them in mind for the East again.
Click to expand...

Well, it's a bit too early for the Assistant Commish to come out of his summer hibernation. I have been thinking about seeing if Baltika will sponsor us if we make #9 the official beverage of the entire BFB this year. Then we could really push the Russian collusion theme. However, I'm too tired and lazy to get off my arse and make the call to St. Petersburg for at least another month.
 
Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

FadeToBlack&Gold said:
Well, it's a bit too early for the Assistant Commish to come out of his summer hibernation. I have been thinking about seeing if Baltika will sponsor us if we make #9 the official beverage of the entire BFB this year. Then we could really push the Russian collusion theme. However, I'm too tired and lazy to get off my arse and make the call to St. Petersburg for at least another month.
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Okay. You know we don't really do anything in a timely manner around here, so take your time. You worked so hard last year that you I'll buy you a large brewed coffee at Simpatico when you come back!
 
Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

We'd need to render the fireplace inoperable. Or maybe we could weave it into the event somehow...
 
Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

Snively65 said:
Marty upping his fee to two cans of tuna per day this year.
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Does Marty want to be guest ref this year? I'm leaning toward the East regional being in Mt Washington again, if someone can loan us a Weather Machine.
 
Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

You could use the community ice here in Topsham, Maine for the East regional. We have no boards, no stands for fans, almost no parking and if the temperature is above freezing (almost certainly a given at that time of year) the ice will be more of a puddle than a sheet since it's outside. Another bonus is that the surface isn't even close to regulation and there are no markings on the ice. Come to think of it, there are no goals, so teams will have to bring their own.
 
Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

ticapnews said:
You could use the community ice here in Topsham, Maine for the East regional. We have no boards, no stands for fans, almost no parking and if the temperature is above freezing (almost certainly a given at that time of year) the ice will be more of a puddle than a sheet since it's outside. Another bonus is that the surface isn't even close to regulation and there are no markings on the ice. Come to think of it, there are no goals, so teams will have to bring their own.
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Maybe not for the East regional, but this would be a sterling location for our midseason tournament. Problem is, we don't want any spectators, so we would have to get creative to keep people away. In 2018, we had 2 people show up at a regional, which resulted in a massive scandal.
 
Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

Also, players approved of Guy Fieri's cooking last year during the Futile Four. But those players are in college and have no taste.

I called Lisa Lillien, the "Hungry Girl," and asked if she'd be willing to cook. She's basically a low calorie Sandra Lee, minus the table scapes and cocktail time. She said just give her a time, date, and location, and she'd be willing to do it.
 
Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

Aunt Sandy and her cocktail time are definitely too haute couture for this tournament. If I can pull off this Baltika sponsorship, whooo boy.
 
Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

FadeToBlack&Gold said:
Aunt Sandy and her cocktail time are definitely too haute couture for this tournament. If I can pull off this Baltika sponsorship, whooo boy.
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And you should see Hungry Girl's recipes. Lots of fat free, low calorie, tasteless garbage.

If you can't get the Baltika sponsorship, at least see if you can get the Russians to prevent tournament officials from broadcasting results on their phone.
 
MissThundercat said:
Does Marty want to be guest ref this year? I'm leaning toward the East regional being in Mt Washington again, if someone can loan us a Weather Machine.
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My sources tell me that Marty has loved reffing the past two years, and he has had some teeth removed recently, so picking up the puck (and running with it) will be much easier for him now. Just don't call him late for dinner.
 
Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

Snively65 said:
My sources tell me that Marty has loved reffing the past two years, and he has had some teeth removed recently, so picking up the puck (and running with it) will be much easier for him now. Just don't call him late for dinner.
Click to expand...

Just pay him in tuna and head scratches, right?
 
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