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Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

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  • Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

    Originally posted by Terrierbyassociation View Post
    You're not exclusive with either. You don't owe anything to those girls and they don't owe you anything and unless they ask if you are exclusive with them (and you say no) there is no reason to say anything. Just enjoy it. If a girl gets possessive when she finds out and gets upset over it, tell her you didn't betray her and you wanted to keep seeing her to decide if you wanted to be exclusive.

    Until then, enjoy it. Contrary to popular opinion not all women are crazy. Just 99.999999 percent of them. There's about 3+ billion women out there, once of us is bound to get lucky.
    I think this is the advice I need to take.
    Having a clear conscience just means you have a bad memory or you had a boring weekend.

    RIP - Kirby

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    • Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

      I think TBA exaggerates. I think it is only 99.9% of the women who are crazy. I would say one out of a thousand is sane.

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      • Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

        Originally posted by goldy_331 View Post
        I think TBA exaggerates. I think it is only 99.9% of the women who are crazy. I would say one out of a thousand is sane.
        I am thinking that I have only met one that is sane...and she was just a friend and drinking buddy at school, so I probably just never got to see her insane relationshippy side.
        Having a clear conscience just means you have a bad memory or you had a boring weekend.

        RIP - Kirby

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        • Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

          Originally posted by unh_hockey View Post
          There is an element of luck to it. At first women have the choice, but I think after a while of relationships or hooking up, the guy has more choice. This is only from my own experiences, and from watching friends in relationships who seem to have it the same way.

          The above post is why I never get hung up on any one women. The illusion of scarcity is what drives people to settle. This simply isn’t the case. My limited worldly travels, and having lived in the city have erased this concept. Its part of why I enjoy being single, as much as being in a good relationship ( maybe more sometimes).

          Last weekend. You know how your friends are like ‘ wow shes cute’. My friends did that and told me to go talk to her. I did. Had to run up, and started a conversation. Long story short, I had a better than expected conversation and ended up with her number. No luck on follow through, but hey..you miss 100% of the shots you never take. This girl was hot too. Really cute. But hey, it came down to their choice but giving it what you got is all you can do!
          I have noticed that when I go out and use my charm (hey don't laugh too much!) I get numbers from girls out of my league. It's actually her number, and I call her...get voicemail and never get a response. I mean, what's the point? they don't want to be mean...then give a fake number. Why give me your real number. Makes no sense to me.

          This woman was older too, 32-33.

          I just had this decent date with a woman with one horror moment. She was a little older and wanted to know who the oldest woman was that I had gone out with. I didn't have the heart to tell her that she was the lucky winner of that contest.
          Feed The Hungry! Click once a day!

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          • Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

            Originally posted by Terrierbyassociation View Post
            I have noticed that when I go out and use my charm (hey don't laugh too much!) I get numbers from girls out of my league. It's actually her number, and I call her...get voicemail and never get a response. I mean, what's the point? they don't want to be mean...then give a fake number. Why give me your real number. Makes no sense to me.

            This woman was older too, 32-33.

            I just had this decent date with a woman with one horror moment. She was a little older and wanted to know who the oldest woman was that I had gone out with. I didn't have the heart to tell her that she was the lucky winner of that contest.
            As I am finding, its part of the game. It’s a low percentage shot thing, but you have to give it a try if you want to have success. My last girlfriend told me that timing has a lot to do with it as well. I was harassing her over the phone at the right time when she thought it was cool…a few months earlier I wouldn’t have had luck with the same person. How does ovechkin score? A lot of shots. Look at his shots on net…he leads the league.

            And yes, one number last weekend was fake. The other just didn’t respond. It makes it easy for me. No additional work needed. Why give a fake number? To make the guy go away. Why give a real number? Maybe they are interested but don’t know. There are so many reasons, I stopped trying and just go for it.
            "Look to the end, no matter what it is you are considering. Often enough, God gives man a glimpse of happiness, and then utterly ruins him"

            -Herodotus

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            • Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

              Originally posted by Terrierbyassociation View Post
              I just had this decent date with a woman with one horror moment. She was a little older and wanted to know who the oldest woman was that I had gone out with. I didn't have the heart to tell her that she was the lucky winner of that contest.
              Sometimes you just have to lie.
              Cornell University Men's Hockey
              NCAA Champions: 1967, 1970
              ECAC Champions: 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1973, 1980, 1986, 1996, 1997, 2003, 2005, 2010
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              • Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

                Originally posted by bigblue_dl View Post
                I think this is the advice I need to take.
                I'd just be clear with them upfront that you are not looking to be exclusive with anyone right now. Otherwise, they are going to assume that you do and it's going to cause a whole world of drama that you just don't want.

                I don't think that you have to tell them that you are dating other people, but to not tell that that you'd consider it would be a lie by omission. It isn't as important that you don't feel that you betrayed her, but that she doesn't feel that you betrayed her.

                Guy thinks: Didn't talk about being exclusive; therefore we are not exclusive.
                Girl thinks: Didn't talk about not being exclusive; therefore we are exclusive.

                Experence has taught me that with women you need to make sure that everyone is clear on the ground rules from day one to keep the crazy drama away.

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                • Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

                  Originally posted by Almington View Post
                  I'd just be clear with them upfront that you are not looking to be exclusive with anyone right now. Otherwise, they are going to assume that you do and it's going to cause a whole world of drama that you just don't want.

                  I don't think that you have to tell them that you are dating other people, but to not tell that that you'd consider it would be a lie by omission. It isn't as important that you don't feel that you betrayed her, but that she doesn't feel that you betrayed her.

                  Guy thinks: Didn't talk about being exclusive; therefore we are not exclusive.
                  Girl thinks: Didn't talk about not being exclusive; therefore we are exclusive.

                  Experence has taught me that with women you need to make sure that everyone is clear on the ground rules from day one to keep the crazy drama away.
                  Yeah, this makes sense. Really, I'm hoping that this doesn't last long. I just want to get to know them to figure out if I want anything more with either of them.
                  Having a clear conscience just means you have a bad memory or you had a boring weekend.

                  RIP - Kirby

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by goldy_331 View Post
                    I think TBA exaggerates. I think it is only 99.9% of the women who are crazy. I would say one out of a thousand is sane.
                    Well, duh. I mean....I am a girl.
                    Loose and St Cloud go together. Like milk and cookies. Or bacon and porn. -Brenthoven
                    Originally posted by bigblue_dl
                    i heart ctf. sdhe is awsdome!!! best ooster ever
                    Originally posted by Brenthoven
                    Fooperese.
                    Saying that ctf is awesome.
                    Saying that ctf is the best poster.
                    bb_dl chasing after a raccoon: "I'm going to make this *ing skunk my b**ch!"

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                    • Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

                      Originally posted by crazytechfan View Post
                      Well, duh. I mean....I am a girl.
                      You are clearly not the one...

                      Your screen name is very appropriate.

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                      • Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

                        I've got another scenario for the brain trust. I've been seeing this girl for about a month now. Its in the that stage where it maybe heading for a relationship, but I still wouldn't use the g-word to describe her and I'm (as Almington mentioned above) assuming we aren't exclusive yet.

                        Now there are two buddies of mine who are part of a general social circle. One of them, S, decides to throw a party and invites people from other social groups he sort of hangs out with. I got there late, but by that time my other friend, D, had gotten a girls number. Over the course of the next two weeks he goes out with this girl twice and they have sex. I never meet this girl and don't even remember her name if it ever comes up.

                        Flashforward six months, and me, my current interest, and a number of other people are supposed to meet up for a bar concert. My Interest in I arrive separately and my friend, D, is already there with a few others (see where this is going). We're fairly far from the door when I see The Interest walk in and point her out. D turns to me and says "Remember 6 months ago, that girl I had sex with once, thats her".

                        Needless to say I'm not pleased, but at the same time really have no justifiable reason to be angry with two consenting adults acting on their own free will. By the time you're closing in on 30, everybody has a past, I just don't want to know about it. My buddy assures me the situation is over, they didn't really click, and haven't talked in months. The Interest has no idea I currently know and didn't spend much time if any talking to my buddy. Would a clear the air moment be the thing to attempt? I sort of feel like I would have to before this goes exclusive, but at the same time is it best to simply let things alone?
                        Last edited by BoomGoestheDynamite; 05-05-2011, 09:53 PM.

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                        • Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

                          Originally posted by BoomGoestheDynamite View Post
                          I've got another scenario for the brain trust. I've been seeing this girl for about a month now. Its in the that stage where it maybe heading for a relationship, but I still wouldn't use the g-word to describe her and I'm (as Almington mentioned above) assuming we aren't exclusive yet.

                          Now there are two buddies of mine who are part of a general social circle. One of them, S, decides to throw a party and invites people from other social groups he sort of hangs out with. I got there late, but by that time my other friend, D, had gotten a girls number. Over the course of the next two weeks he goes out with this girl twice and they have sex. I never meet this girl and don't even remember her name if it ever comes up.

                          Flashforward six months, and me, my current interest, and a number of other people are supposed to meet up for a bar concert. My Interest in I arrive separately and my friend, D, is already there with a few others (see where this is going). We're fairly far from the door when I see The Interest walk in and point her out. D turns to me and says "Remember 6 months ago, that girl I had sex with once, thats her".

                          Needless to say I'm not pleased, but at the same time really have no justifiable reason to be angry with two consenting adults acting on their own free will. My buddy assures me the situation is over, they didn't really click, and haven't talked in months. The Interest has no idea I currently know and didn't spend much time if any talking to my buddy. Would a clear the air moment be the thing to attempt? I sort of feel like I would have to before this goes exclusive, but at the same time is it best to simply let things alone?
                          What would be gained by talking about it? That's the big question you have to ask yourself.
                          Never really developed a taste for tequila. Kind of hard to understand how you make a drink out of something that sharp, inhospitable. Now, bourbon is easy to understand.
                          Tastes like a warm summer day. -Raylan Givens

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                          • Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

                            Say nothing, do nothing. What she did before you were exclusive doesn't concern you. Obviously you're peeved because you're human and we'd all like to pretend we'll never know and see the men who have had sex with our current beau before she was exclusive with us. But that's not healthy either.

                            You don't need to let her know that you know. Your friend knows and was polite enough to tell you so you didn't find out in the future from the girl you were seeing or from a third party.

                            It's best to leave things alone and what is gained by talking to her about having sex with someone before she even knew you? I don't get it. Say nothing. Move forward. If you can't move past your own ego (which is what this is) then I suggest purchasing a virgin bride off the internet.
                            Feed The Hungry! Click once a day!

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                            • Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

                              Originally posted by bigblue_dl View Post
                              Yeah, this makes sense. Really, I'm hoping that this doesn't last long. I just want to get to know them to figure out if I want anything more with either of them.
                              I totally disagree with Almington because your situation didn't seem like the casual dating scenario and it didn't sound like you weren't just looking for fun, it did sound like you wanted to pursue both women simultaneously and see how the chips fell. If that's the case saying you're not looking for exclusivity is false, you're just not looking for exclusivity in a week. Like Brent said to Boom, what's gained by it. If you're not exclusive and haven't had the talk, then expect women to be dating other guys and expect them to understand the same unless they're stupid.

                              If you were just looking for fun, then take Almington's advice 100% of the time to avoid crazy mcCrazytime.
                              Feed The Hungry! Click once a day!

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                              • Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

                                Clearly you have to have sex with your friend and then wait for the girl to mention something about her and him. And then afterwards you can say "Me too! We have so much in common!"

                                It'll only make the relationship that much stronger.
                                Old Monster Records

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