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Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

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  • Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

    Ok, stop distracting Miss Thundercat. We're in the middle of our stupid and futile holiday tournament, and if she's not paying attention someone might actually see it.

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    • Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

      NoWinS final: UAH vs. Canisius.

      Miss Thundercat is drunk with a fuzzy memory. Let's see if she can piece together what happened.

      Period 1
      With no real ice left over from the first two games, Miss Thundercat declared PLAY ON! Matt Pogue of Canisius decided to try and slide over what was left of the ice, swinging the puck to the far left corner. Max Coyle of UAH found Miss Thundercat's beer. He popped one open, and the puck came to him. He exclaimed "oh sh-t," and threw the beer bottle at Pogue. He missed, and hit Miss Thundercat instead. Miss Thundercat was upset, and instructed the refs (a Rusty's store employee) to call a major). Coyle was offered the chance to eat the tomalley in lieu of a penalty, and he took it. He managed to get it down, and play continued. Matt Long of UAH grabbed the puck, but as he got it down the "ice," Coyle also threw up the tomalley, leaving vomit everywhere. No clean up crews, so we played on. Long got it to his teammate Liam Izyk, and Corbett distracted the ref long enough for Izyk to pick up the puck with his hands and *place* it in the net. The local theater troupe re-enacted it, and another Rusty's employee saw it, so no goal. Period ends at 0-0.

      Intermission:
      Trevor Large of Canisius declares his love of Red Lobster to Miss Thundercat. Miss Thundercat yawned and announced there would be a tomalley eating contest between Large and Corbett. Both protested vigorously, which led to bench minors for both UAH and Canisius. Both coaches participated, with Large finishing the tomalley while Corbett turned green and vomited halfway through. No medical attention was given to Corbett.

      Period 2.
      Jack Jeffers of UAH is nowhere to be found. 7 minutes after the period started, he's missing one of his socks and there is a faint odor emanating from his rear. As for the bench minors assessed to both Large and Corbett, both teams agreed to a lukewarm coffee drinking contest without cream and sugar. No one could finish, so Matt Hoover of Canisius stayed off the "ice" for a minute, while Jeffers was pulled back off the ice. Both teams struggled to move, wishing they could have the correct sticks for their hand, and Miss Thundercat kept drinking while teams were staring at her. Jeffers got back on the "ice" and moved toward Matt Ladd of Canisius. Connor Wood of UAH saw Jeffers, managed to get the puck to him, and Jeffers poked it through for a goal. Local theater troupe confirms it, so it's 1-0 UAH. As the period is winding down, Connor Merkley pushes another puck past Ladd to make it 2-0 UAH.

      Intermission:
      Miss Thundercat came down to her last bottle of Labatt. ****, she screams. She brings JJM over to chat about what they've seen, and this is way better than last year's NoWinS. Way better.

      Period 3:
      There was no real action. Players kept getting stuck, pucks didn't go anywhere. Canisius managed to cut the score in half when Matt Stief bounced a puck off the commish's Nikes and it managed to flop past Mark Sinclair. Rusty's employees weren't paying attention, and the local theater troupe re-enacted the lucky bounce. Even after replay, Rusty's employees didn't care, so the score remained 2-1 UAH. But on the UAH side, Tanner Hickey WANTED to try the tomalley, and the commish set the boy up. When he started to vomit, Miss Thundercat directed him away from her $100 Nikes. But as Hickey clutched his stomach in agony, Miss Thundercat pushed him out of the way so she could see. But the clock ran out, and the score at 0:00 was UAH 2, Canisius 1.

      Trevor Large didn't want the NoWinS trophy either, and the last I heard, Matt Hoover and JD Pogue of Canisius were seen trying to destroy it with their sticks. We'll find it for next year.

      With that in mind, the Commish and JJM are headed back to Michigan, ready to plan next year's NoWinS.
      Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
      "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
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      • Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

        How are the teams getting home?

        Committee hitch-hiking back to Michigan?

        Safe travels to all, and happy holidays!

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        • Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

          Originally posted by Snively65 View Post
          How are the teams getting home?

          Committee hitch-hiking back to Michigan?

          Safe travels to all, and happy holidays!
          1. It's up to the teams to figure that out. We arranged to get them TO Topsham, but it's up to them to get home.

          2. JJM and Miss Thundercat took the Commish's car. It's a white 2012 Chrysler Town & Country that needs to be washed, but she runs fine.
          Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
          "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
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          • Originally posted by MissThundercat View Post
            1. It's up to the teams to figure that out. We arranged to get them TO Topsham, but it's up to them to get home.

            2. JJM and Miss Thundercat took the Commish's car. It's a white 2012 Chrysler Town & Country that needs to be washed, but she runs fine.
            We're hours into the trip in the T&C, and neither one of us was in any shape to be behind the wheel so we hired a driver. Little did we realize that it was Frank Anzalone, who had to sit on a box and use golf clubs to work the pedals. He has already been talking our ears off about how he's going to be the best Bottom Feeder referee ever, and I feel like I ate the tomalley just from listening.

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            • Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

              Originally posted by John J. MacInnes View Post
              We're hours into the trip in the T&C, and neither one of us was in any shape to be behind the wheel so we hired a driver. Little did we realize that it was Frank Anzalone, who had to sit on a box and use golf clubs to work the pedals. He has already been talking our ears off about how he's going to be the best Bottom Feeder referee ever, and I feel like I ate the tomalley just from listening.
              He took my Ingrid Michaelson CD out and put in Free Bird.
              Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
              "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
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              • Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

                Frank, JJM, and I are at a Friendly's in Ohio. Frank Anzalone is still talking about how he's going to be the best Bottom Feeders referee EVER, all while JJM and I are trying to eat our meals. We're not that far from the Ohio-Michigan border, and JJM and I have contemplated smacking Frank in the back of the head to shut him up 3,746 times.

                JJM's best friend is meeting us in Holland to get him home.
                Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
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                • Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

                  Originally posted by MissThundercat View Post
                  Frank, JJM, and I are at a Friendly's in Ohio. Frank Anzalone is still talking about how he's going to be the best Bottom Feeders referee EVER, all while JJM and I are trying to eat our meals. We're not that far from the Ohio-Michigan border, and JJM and I have contemplated smacking Frank in the back of the head to shut him up 3,746 times.

                  JJM's best friend is meeting us in Holland to get him home.
                  Yeah, there's no way I'm staying in the van that long. I'll dive out at speed on I-96 when you get near Lansing. The road rash will be a welcome exchange for FA's constant droning.

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                  • Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

                    Originally posted by John J. MacInnes View Post
                    Yeah, there's no way I'm staying in the van that long. I'll dive out at speed on I-96 when you get near Lansing. The road rash will be a welcome exchange for FA's constant droning.
                    Your best friend is now picking you up at the Breslin. Can you wait that long?
                    Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                    "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
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                    • Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

                      Someone came and picked JJM at Lansing near the Breslin Center. Using the opportunity, I felt alright enough to wait for Frank to get out of the car, then locked him out and left FA in East Lansing. At last check, Frank spent all his money on peanut butter pretzels and sour gummy worms at the last gas station. Pity. Made it back to Holland WITHOUT Frank around 4 PM.
                      Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                      "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
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                      • Originally posted by MissThundercat View Post
                        Someone came and picked JJM at Lansing near the Breslin Center. Using the opportunity, I felt alright enough to wait for Frank to get out of the car, then locked him out and left FA in East Lansing. At last check, Frank spent all his money on peanut butter pretzels and sour gummy worms at the last gas station. Pity. Made it back to Holland WITHOUT Frank around 4 PM.
                        Such dedication! You two (not Frank) are the real deal. :-)

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                        • Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

                          Coming out of the NoWinS, wonder what's on tap for the second half?

                          -Canisius is a clear #1 coming out of the NoWinS, while UAH and Vermont round out the top 3. St. Cloud will be put at #6.

                          -Frank Anzalone is still our ref for Isle Royale, if he made it home from East Lansing.

                          -Your team of Two Huskies and a Wildcat/Pioneer in the Bottom Feeders Front Office has the wheels turning for the Futile Four. What can we do on Isle Royale? Will Malcolm Portera cut a team mid-regional? Will Mike Dunleavy try to consolidate two programs in Oklahoma?

                          -What surprise team will enter the ranking late in the season? Michigan Tech was that team last season.

                          -For the first time in January, there will be 3 from the Big Integer, with Minnesota joining the BFB. Remember when they were "arrogant?"

                          -And I believe we could have an Big 7/Nacho final, especially if Michigan and Miami/St. Cloud advance to the final.
                          Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                          "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
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                          • Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

                            Originally posted by Snively65 View Post
                            Such dedication! You two (not Frank) are the real deal. :-)
                            And all I have to do is pay Fade in coffee and JJM in the beverage of his choice.
                            Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                            "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
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                            • Originally posted by MissThundercat View Post
                              And all I have to do is pay Fade in coffee and JJM in the beverage of his choice.
                              Make it Upper Hand Light from Escanaba and I'll re-up.

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                              • Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

                                Originally posted by John J. MacInnes View Post
                                Make it Upper Hand Light from Escanaba and I'll re-up.
                                I have a 6 of it in the office just for you!
                                Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                                "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
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