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Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

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  • Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

    Wait. Frank Anzalone is our ref for Isle Royale. huskyfan can watch the benches.
    Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
    "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
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    • Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

      According to the automated channel monitor, the Belasitza has berthed in Quebec City. The teams are assumed to have met the school buses for transport to the NoWinS for the beginning of the tournament tomorrow, right in time for the winter solstice.

      Game recaps here tomorrow.

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      • Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

        Update:

        The NoWinS trophy (as described by Miss Thundercat, "really just a plastic trash can with crossed sticks and a puck on top") was assumed destroyed by UNH's Mike Souza, who attempted to burn it after 'winning' last year's event in Cloudcroft, NM. Unbeknownst to the rest of the tournament officials, the charred remains have been found in a bus station bathroom in Frenchmans Bayou, Arkansas. It is now in transit to Topsham to be presented to this year's 'winners'.

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        • Originally posted by John J. MacInnes View Post
          Update:

          The NoWinS trophy (as described by Miss Thundercat, "really just a plastic trash can with crossed sticks and a puck on top") was assumed destroyed by UNH's Mike Souza, who attempted to burn it after 'winning' last year's event in Cloudcroft, NM. Unbeknownst to the rest of the tournament officials, the charred remains have been found in a bus station bathroom in Frenchmans Bayou, Arkansas. It is now in transit to Topsham to be presented to this year's 'winners'.
          Would be most appropriate if MS7 were on hand to bestow the charred trophy to this year's winnah. That is, if he is not off on the recruiting trail this weekend.

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          • Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

            Originally posted by MissThundercat View Post
            I think we'll keep it here.

            Rusty's convenience store already said we can have stale decaf coffee and expired bean burritos. We're not eating that; there's enough money in our budget to take us to a nearby IHOP.
            FYI: The nearest IHOP is quite a drive. Denny's closed years ago. Don't mention Red Lobster here if you value your life. We do have a 99, Ruby Tuesday, Five Guys and Applebee's all within 10 miles though.

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            • Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

              Applebee's for half-off apps to stretch the budget as far as it will go.

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              • Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

                Originally posted by FadeToBlack&Gold View Post
                Applebee's for half-off apps to stretch the budget as far as it will go.
                Blazin' buffalo wings and shrimp poppers!
                Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                Patreon for exclusive writing content
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                • Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

                  As a refresher, the teams traveled to the tournament together. St. Cloud was required to hop a freighter in Thunder Bay. The Algoma Spirit passed through the Detroit River where UAH boarded en route to Hamilton, where they transferred to the Malta flagged bulk carrier Belasitza. Canisius also boarded here. The Belasitza then picked up Vermont while in progress passing Cornwall Island in the St. Lawrence Seaway. They were dropped off in Quebec City to be taken by school bus the 244 miles to Topsham. UAH officials commented that it was a more difficult transit than last year’s NoWinS, prompting a satisfied smile from Miss Thundercat.

                  The community rink at Topsham had just enough cold weather this week to get an ice surface down, but only at a thickness of 3/8”. Consequently, the ice cracked and broke when more than two players occupied the same space. This meant that almost no defense or checking was possible. NoWinS officials also reminded the teams of the two tournament house rules:

                  1) No player can play the position he is listed as playing on the school website
                  2) Players must play with the opposite handed stick blade

                  Semifinal #1

                  Vermont complained that they could have just driven the 283 miles to Topsham. They were immediately assessed a pair of double minors for unsportsmanlike conduct. Per the local rules, the Catamounts were given the option of having players eat a serving of tomalley for each minute assessed to avoid the penalties. They declined. With extra room and not as much chance of crowding, UAH scored twice in the ensuing 5x3 and led 2-0. The referees were confused by taconite pellets from the freighter which were falling out of player equipment. After determining that only UAH had been on the Algoma Spirit with taconite aboard, the Chargers were assessed a penalty. They also declined the tomalley, but didn’t surrender a goal and led 2-0 after 1.

                  In the second period, UAH decided to use the ice conditions to their advantage and try to check as many Vermont players as possible. This resulted in numerous ice fractures and the game slowed to a halt. UVM’s Dallas Comeau found one square foot of unbroken ice in the neutral zone and shot from there, and UAH temporary goalie Levi Wunder got his skate caught in a crack so he couldn’t move to stop it. 2-1 UAH after 2.

                  In the third, Vermont figured out that by diving face first across the “ice”, they could move around the surface. The Chargers were stuck in huge ice crevasses and couldn’t get to the bench to change. Vermont’s Thomas Beretta did a swan dive across the blue line and slid to the slot, where he dug the puck out from under some shards of ice. He picked it up and tossed it in the air, swinging his stick like a baseball bat and sending a bouncing ground ball past Wunder to tie the game. UAH immediately protested, and were assessed a bench minor. Instead of taking the penalty, Mike Corbett opted to eat two servings of tomalley himself. He soon was projectile vomiting over the backs of his own players on the bench, and they in turn did so too. This led to the local theater troupe providing interpretative replays to try and recreate the incident, creating a massive amount of human sick. Topsham officials attempted to clean up the mess by pouring orange sawdust on it, spilling a large amount onto the “ice”. 2-2 and overtime was needed.

                  In the OT, the sawdust area in front of the benches became the only area with decent footing, so all ten skaters congregated there. After a scrum, UAH’s Mark Sinclair (playing forward) emerged from the pile and swan dived into the Charger end. He got to his feet and took a shot that beat temporary goalie Nic Hamre, prompting a wild celebration on the UAH bench. But upon inspection, the referees determined that he had not shot an actual puck but a clump of sawdust held together with vomit. No goal.

                  In the subsequent argument, UVM’s Stefanos Lekkas asked the linesman to drop the puck anyway while the protests were happening. He fired it backhanded into an open goal where Wunder had vacated and Vermont won 3-2, sending UAH to the championship game.

                  Semifinal #2 recap to follow.
                  Last edited by John J. MacInnes; 12-21-2019, 03:48 PM.

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                  • Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

                    Please. UAH never scores 5x3. BUT Corbett would eat that.

                    GFM
                    Geof F. Morris
                    UAH BSE MAE 2002
                    UAHHockey.com

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                    • Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

                      Semifinal #2

                      After the ice conditions worsened during the first game, Topsham officials sent representatives to all area hotels with ice machines. They came back with enough ice cubes in varying forms to cover the rink, and the game was declared on.

                      Due to the differing sizes and condition of the cubes and chunks, the ice surface resembled a city street in lower Michigan. Peaks and valleys formed along with massive potholes, and pucks that were passed to anyone further than 5 feet away sprayed wildly in all directions.

                      Canisius tried to use the old “hidden puck” trick, claiming it was in a different part of the arena while Matt Hoover snuck into the Huskies end of the ice. He got right to the edge of the net, but caught his skate on a warp in the ice and tumbled ***-over-teakettle. SCSU temporary goalie Spencer Meier fell over laughing, and in the process lost his stick. The puck popped in the air, and on its way down deflected off the stickhandle and bounced into the unguarded cage. 1-0 Golden Griffs after 1.

                      In the second, SCSU’s Nick Perbix was called for hooking and opted to take the tomalley instead of the penalty. He somehow managed to keep it down until his next shift, when he blew chunks on David Baskerville of Canisius. Incensed, Baskerville tried to chase down Perbix who had escaped by using an improvised ramp of ice cubes to jump over the onrushing attack. Once airborne, Perbix horked again and this time hit the Griffs David Meyer. The re-creation by the local theater troupe was so fascinating to the Canisius bench that they didn’t even notice that St Cloud had scored in the meantime. 1-1 after 2.

                      The third period began after Topsham officials had flooded the rink with seawater in an attempt to level the surface. They instead created hidden ponds with some small lobsters also ending up in play. Canisius players had figured out that the old “sit on your stick like a broom” trick worked well to get momentum, but each time they went over a larger bump they ended up soaked in the standing water on the other side. Finally John Stampohar got loose on a breakaway as the Huskies spilled all over in pursuit, but as he approached the goal Stampohar realized what he thought was the puck was a lobster body. Taking the shot anyway, the shellfish disintegrated and sprayed fresh tomalley onto his stick. Stampohar started waving it at the SCSU defenders, who immediately tried to escape without retching. Inspired by their teammate, all the Canisius players tried to locate lobster parts and do the same. But while they hunted for tomalley, St. Cloud’s Sam Hentges found the puck and tried to fire it across the ice. It hit two large ice chunks, caromed in different directions, and eventually ricocheted into the net with 17 seconds to play. SCSU wins 2-1 and advances Canisius to the championship game.

                      Miss Thundercat will recap the final after it finishes.

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                      • Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

                        Interlude. While the players are trying to gag down expired bean burritos and stale decaf coffee from Rusty's, I have $50 (our budget for dining out) and JJM and I drove to a nearby Applebee's, stretching the budget with half-off appetizers and dollar-ritas.
                        Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                        "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                        Patreon for exclusive writing content
                        Adventures With Amber Marie

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                        • Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

                          Originally posted by MissThundercat View Post
                          Wait. Frank Anzalone is our ref for Isle Royale. huskyfan can watch the benches.
                          This is going to be a slow coming in. The players are being towed to the island in rubber zodiacs by the guy who last summer attempted to ride his jet ski to the island. He ended up being rescued by the Coast Guard. There is no extra room for gear, so the players have to travel fully dressed for play. Skates and rubber rafts don't make a good combination. As the jet ski departed Two Harbors, pulling several rafts, the players were seen laying on their back with their skates in the air, to avoid punctures. Small ice flows will slow early travel, but as the jet ski gets further off shore the water will open up and he should be able to pick up speed. Like 2 mph speed. Surely this will go down in the history of Bottom Feeders as one of the hardest places to get to. Frank Anzalone has refused to ride in a raft, claiming it might bias his reffing. He was last seen practicing parachuting with snowshoes on. Frankly (no pun intended) I will be not be surprised if he is a no show. huskyfan has made arrangements for a float plane to land as close to the island as possible and drop her and a snowmobile off. she is using her own money, so don't be calling foul on this one. or on the case of vodka she is brining along. strictly medicinal.
                          Originally posted by mtu_huskies
                          "We are not too far away from a national championship," said (John) Scott.
                          Boosh Factor 4

                          Originally posted by Brent Hoven
                          Yeah, but you're my favorite hag.

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                          • Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

                            I'm so mixed up. What a surprised! What teams are playing on Isle Royale? Oh please let it be southern teams. Just to give them an idea what we live through.
                            Originally posted by mtu_huskies
                            "We are not too far away from a national championship," said (John) Scott.
                            Boosh Factor 4

                            Originally posted by Brent Hoven
                            Yeah, but you're my favorite hag.

                            Comment


                            • Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

                              Originally posted by huskyfan View Post
                              I'm so mixed up. What a surprised! What teams are playing on Isle Royale? Oh please let it be southern teams. Just to give them an idea what we live through.
                              Well, we know UAH isn't staying in the South or West (Bama is WAY too close to Oklahoma). UAH will either go Midwest to Isle Royale, or East to Mt. Washington and they can deal with Marty.
                              Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                              "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                              Patreon for exclusive writing content
                              Adventures With Amber Marie

                              Comment


                              • Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

                                The commish ran to Rusty's for a sixer of Labatt Blue. Can't find Bell's here. After she finishes drinking it, she'll write the final.
                                Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                                "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                                Patreon for exclusive writing content
                                Adventures With Amber Marie

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