Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

[MissThundercat]

Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

Boss Lady, Your Adorable, Beloved Commissioner, etc, is just about ready with the final. She had to get liquid inspiration from one of Baltimore's shady liquor stores to do it, but the final will be up around 7 tonight.

[huskyfan]

Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

huskyfan, Frank, teams, fans, refs are off of Isle Royale. what a s***show. I managed to salvage a fifth of vodka and a few handfuls of the microdoses and drove during the night, headlights off, slept during the day in back alleys and finally made Tucson. I'll post more when (if) I sober up.

[MissThundercat]

Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

Fade knows the Boss Lady has been in a malaise the past few weeks. However, Boss Lady remembers enough of the final to give it to you tonight.

Futile Four Final: Won't Chargers vs. SLU(T)

Pregame, Brent Brekke had some of Hungry Girl's Southwestern Meatloaf, and promptly ran to the bathroom. Mike Corbett would be in the stall next to him, and they were indisposed for awhile. Corbett's repeated attempt to flush the toilet left a puddle of water on the floor and had both coaches running from the bathroom without washing their hands.

In the first, the Commish wasn't really watching the security camera; she was dancing around the room listening to "Extraordinary Machine" by Fiona Apple. She managed to catch Bo Hanson of SLU(T) violating social distancing protocol, and then him getting a game misconduct. On the ensuing power play, Liam Izyk of UAH almost scored, but was stuck in the melted plastic from the other game. The puck stayed there. Play continued while the Commish ran to the kitchen to get some more wine. She loves Riesling. You know she gets her wine from Aldi and is impressed. Where was I going with this? Either way, no one scored in the period.

In the second, the Commish sat down long enough to see Izyk finally score. He also held a message up for the Commish asking her out, but the Commish doesn't date boys. She thinks boys are gross and stupid. Keenan Suthers and Jordan Steinmetz of SLU(T) got a little too close to Jack Jeffers and Josh Latta of UAH, and so all four players were ejected. In the resulting 3 on 3, Zach Risteau tripped near the goal line and swatted the puck in with a 7 foot stick. Yes, JJM, we brought those back. Score tied at 1. The period would end with Connor Merkey trying one of Lisa Lillien's Banana Walnut Pancake Sticks. He couldn't finish it.

In the third, there was some head hunting with the 7 foot sticks, and the Commish let the ref know she'll allow it. Paying attention meant she couldn't drink her wine. With about 10 to play in the period, Bo Hanson of SLUT finally got ahead when the puck hit the rafters and bounced in. How? It's the BFB, you know we deus ex machina everything. UAH would try to tie it later, but once again, the puck got stuck in the plastic. Christian Rajic of UAH would also get stuck in the ice and had to be extracted by Mark Sinclair. While the UAH goalie was out of the net, SLUT moved in and we think they scored. But wait, it was the pancake stick that Merkley never finished earlier. Ref called the Commish, who was dancing to "My Moon My Man" by Feist now, and she allowed it. That's how the game ended.

Your "winner" and 2019-2020 Bottom Feeders Champions: UAH.

[MissThundercat]

Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

Well Fade, JJM, huskyfan, GFM, and all of you who contribute to the Bottom Feeders year after year:

Another year is in the books. After years of trying, UAH is finally on top. Special thanks to Fade and JJM, my right and left hand people.

And for all I know, UAH never made it out of Baltimore. They tried to dump the Gold Plated Garbage Can, but the Commish loaded it on the bus for them before she headed back to Holland.

[gfmorris]

Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

Going out to that song works for me.

GFM

[John J. MacInnes]

Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

Well Fade, JJM, huskyfan, GFM, and all of you who contribute to the Bottom Feeders year after year:

Another year is in the books. After years of trying, UAH is finally on top. Special thanks to Fade and JJM, my right and left hand people.

And for all I know, UAH never made it out of Baltimore. They tried to dump the Gold Plated Garbage Can, but the Commish loaded it on the bus for them before she headed back to Holland.

Speaking as the left hand, I for one am happy to see the conclusion of a tournament where reality was almost as hard to believe as our reports. I'm self-quarantining with a 12 pack from Upper Hand (my last in the fridge) and girding up for next year. Stick salute to the boss Miss Thundercat.

[MissThundercat]

Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

Going out to that song works for me.

GFM

Did you like that song? GOOD.

Speaking as the left hand, I for one am happy to see the conclusion of a tournament where reality was almost as hard to believe as our reports. I'm self-quarantining with a 12 pack from Upper Hand (my last in the fridge) and girding up for next year. Stick salute to the boss Miss Thundercat.

*Raises wine glass back to JJM*

Thank you, good sir. Everything is in its right place. UAH finally is a "winner." huskyfan finally separated from Frank. We will not request Frank's services next year. We might bring in Kevin Sneddon instead. I've grown quite fond of him. I liked having Mike Dunleavy and Malcolm Portera as guest officials; gave us something to work with this year.

I won't release a Too Early ranking this year. But you can bet UAH, SLU(T), Bueller, and Vermont will feature prominently come next year.

[Snively65]

Did you like that song? GOOD.



*Raises wine glass back to JJM*

Thank you, good sir. Everything is in its right place. UAH finally is a "winner." huskyfan finally separated from Frank. We will not request Frank's services next year. We might bring in Kevin Sneddon instead. I've grown quite fond of him. I liked having Mike Dunleavy and Malcolm Portera as guest officials; gave us something to work with this year.

I won't release a Too Early ranking this year. But you can bet UAH, SLU(T), Bueller, and Vermont will feature prominently come next year.

And, Marty the Cat sends his thanks; says the NE Regionals on the Summit have been a highlight of his life the past two years.

[MissThundercat]

Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

And, Marty the Cat sends his thanks; says the NE Regionals on the Summit have been a highlight of his life the past two years.

Tell Marty I said thank you! Tell him we'll be back next year for more hijinks!

[apple2k]

Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

Larries fan here. A horrible season, but at least we didn't win this tournament. This must be why we call sports fun and games--just sayin'.

[MissThundercat]

Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

Larries fan here. A horrible season, but at least we didn't win this tournament. This must be why we call sports fun and games--just sayin'.

You were awful, but UAH was more awful.

And the worst thing that happened to you this tournament was being stuck in Indiana. I don't even think the people who live in Indiana want to be stuck in Indiana.

[FadeToBlack&Gold]

Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

I don't even think the people who live in Indiana want to be stuck in Indiana.

Sadly, you'd be surprised.

[RPI fan 4 life]

Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

Just wanted to thank everyone for running this tournament. Despite the thread title, thanks to Fade, JJM and the Commish to getting results in without having to wait for carrier pigeons, Morse code, pony express and other slow means of communications that we have experienced in the past.
Glad I was able to help with the travel schedule and am looking forward to next year’s BFB.

[MissThundercat]

Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

And I wanted to tell you the Commish's office is moving from Holland to downtown Grand Rapids.

Nothing fancy. It's an older house she's sharing with 4 other people.

[FadeToBlack&Gold]

Re: Bottom Feeders 2019-20: Timely Results Are For That "Other" Tournament.

And I wanted to tell you the Commish's office is moving from Holland to downtown Grand Rapids.

Nothing fancy. It's an older house she's sharing with 4 other people.

Whew! I was a little worried about next season's expenses.