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Gear Grinding 9: I Need a Wine!

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  • Re: Gear Grinding 9: I Need a Wine!

    Originally posted by SJHovey View Post
    I'd have to go back and look, but I didn't think our venue cost for our daughter was anywhere near that. She had the ceremony and reception at 413 on Wacouta in downtown St. Paul, and it was a spectacular location.

    https://www.413onwacouta.com/
    Thanks for the tip. Pricing looks similar to our venue. I think we might have looked at this venue online. Not sure what ended up causing us to skip it.

    Regarding my 20k number, I meant total cost of everything from venue, food, all the way down to party gifts, rehearsal, etc.

    But before tip, tax, etc., our venue and food is like $15.5k at 175 guests. But we’re trying to get that closer to 150. Includes cake and an hour of bar. It’s everything else that adds up to the bigger number. Dress, photographer, etc. That’s $3k-6k right there. We have some contacts but not as extensive as we were hoping. I’m also not big on asking for friends and family pricing. I shouldn’t be so hesitant, but those people are also running a business. I don’t want them to be in an uncomfortable situation having to say no.
    Code:
    As of 9/21/10:         As of 9/13/10:
    College Hockey 6       College Football 0
    BTHC 4                 WCHA FC:  1
    Originally posted by SanTropez
    May your paint thinner run dry and the fleas of a thousand camels infest your dead deer.
    Originally posted by bigblue_dl
    I don't even know how to classify magic vagina smoke babies..
    Originally posted by Kepler
    When the giraffes start building radio telescopes they can join too.
    He's probably going to be a superstar but that man has more baggage than North West

    Comment


    • Re: Gear Grinding 9: I Need a Wine!

      Originally posted by dxmnkd316 View Post
      I’m also not big on asking for friends and family pricing. I shouldn’t be so hesitant, but those people are also running a business. I don’t want them to be in an uncomfortable situation having to say no.
      When asking for help, you have to make sure to tell them that you are not asking them to lose money, that the price should still cover more than their costs (however you can think to say that tactfully), and that you'll handle processes X, Y, and Z if it'll make it easier, and you think that you can handle it.

      I don't like asking for help like that either, and thankfully didn't have to do it myself. I did listen to my wife as she made some of her calls, and she/we made sure that people did not lose money while helping us. We always made sure to cover the costs and a little extra.

      Another way to have some of this handled, and this is how the bouquets were handled (along with a few other things), is that a couple women went in together to buy the flowers at the farmers market, and then they made the bouquets. That was their wedding gift to us. And since we weren't doing flowers for the church or the reception tables I don't think it was an exorbitantly priced gift on their end.
      "The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command." George Orwell, 1984

      "One does not simply walk into Mordor. Its Black Gates are guarded by more than just Orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep, and the Great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire and ash and dust, the very air you breathe is a poisonous fume." Boromir

      "Good news! We have a delivery." Professor Farnsworth

      Comment


      • Re: Gear Grinding 9: I Need a Wine!

        Married 3 weeks ago. ~25K with everything. All I cared about was an open bar and live band which did bring up the price. It was a great time but man...that would go a ways for a downpayment to a house.
        In the immortal words of Jean Paul Sartre, 'Au revoir, gopher'.

        Originally posted by burd
        I look at some people and I just know they do it doggy style. No way they're getting close to my kids.

        Comment


        • Re: Gear Grinding 9: I Need a Wine!

          Originally posted by WisconsinWildcard View Post
          Married 3 weeks ago. ~25K with everything. All I cared about was an open bar and live band which did bring up the price. It was a great time but man...that would go a ways for a downpayment to a house.
          Congrats (belated )

          That last sentence was kind of how I feel. THis could be a new car. This could be giant nestegg to start a college fund. We're basically just having a big money bonfire but with tons of stress. That being said, I want to have a great party as well. Thank god I've been saving every point on my credit card and rewards accounts the last several years. We'll be able to get a two-week honeymoon in Europe for the price of meals. I'm very much looking forward to that.
          Code:
          As of 9/21/10:         As of 9/13/10:
          College Hockey 6       College Football 0
          BTHC 4                 WCHA FC:  1
          Originally posted by SanTropez
          May your paint thinner run dry and the fleas of a thousand camels infest your dead deer.
          Originally posted by bigblue_dl
          I don't even know how to classify magic vagina smoke babies..
          Originally posted by Kepler
          When the giraffes start building radio telescopes they can join too.
          He's probably going to be a superstar but that man has more baggage than North West

          Comment


          • Re: Gear Grinding 9: I Need a Wine!

            Originally posted by mookie1995 View Post
            Crazy money for something you’ll probably do another 2x in your life
            Keep it - Simple.....
            ....and ask yourselves, “how many times will we look at those pictures?”
            We got married 5 years ago and I still look at my pictures every few months. Plus, my grandmother died a few months after our wedding and, while she was suffering from severe dementia, she was able to attend our wedding and those are the last happy memories I have with her (okay...literally tearing up, so moving on).

            dx - I don't have to much to offer for money saving that hasn't already been offered. We did fake flowers (real ones can cause me to get super watery eyed and sniffly), which helped cut on cost. And our table decorations were also our favors - we did rectangle vases with battery operated Christmas lights mixed in with colored stones and topped with bags of flour (the bags were the gift) with recipes on them - almond flour, coconut flour, and potato flour. Matt and I had watched "Stranger than Fiction" and Will Farrell brings Maggie Gyllenhaal's character flours (instead of flowers). On long tables, we included toys from Doctor Who and Harry Potter that we got on Amazon. So our flower and flour budget was small. (link to photos from our wedding if you're interested - there are pictures of our centerpieces, our invites/programs. the PW is Sarah)

            We also had a small wedding - only 69 guests actually game (we had 75 RSVP yes, but Matt's cousin was killed 10 days before our wedding and a friend of our's wife and kid were a no show).
            I didn't do bridesmaids' gifts (Matt bought each of the 4 groomsman a bottle of Laphroaig) and our respective stag/hen parties were low key (I had a pedicure with my 3 bridesmaids and we went out for a nice dinner and overnighted at one of their places; Matt had a 6 course Bourbon/Bacon/Steak themed dinner at a local restaurant). We were married at our rehearsal in the morning (legally in NH you have to be married by a JP or clergy and JPs are elected positions ) and Matt's sister read the ceremony we wrote - which was actually nice because regardless of anything that might happen at the ceremony, we were already married legally.

            We didn't do a cake - I don't know if that's something to consider. The cost of the cake, plus a "cutting fee per piece" was a deterrent. And wedding cakes are rarely so good that it justifies the expense. We had an ice cream sundae bar.
            We went with a local printer for our invites, which we designed ourselves and did Vistaprint for our STDs, programs, and thank you notes.

            Our guest book was a framed photo from our engagement photos (which was all included in our photo package for the wedding) - people signed the mat. We also DIY-ed our cardbox (it was a cube from Portal).

            As a bridesmaid for another wedding, we had bottles of wine and assembled boutonnieres, bouquets, and centerpieces the night before while watching silly movies. It was actually kind of fun.

            Honestly, it's a pain and expensive, but it's worth it. We had so much fun and I look back at the photos and think about it often.

            Comment


            • Re: Gear Grinding 9: I Need a Wine!

              Appreciate the advice. We’ll figure it out. We plan on using my mom to help with centerpieces and flowers. I’m sure my dad will pick up at least the rehearsal. But there’s no way I’m asking. I’ve never asked for a penny in my life.

              I’m really looking forward to it.
              Code:
              As of 9/21/10:         As of 9/13/10:
              College Hockey 6       College Football 0
              BTHC 4                 WCHA FC:  1
              Originally posted by SanTropez
              May your paint thinner run dry and the fleas of a thousand camels infest your dead deer.
              Originally posted by bigblue_dl
              I don't even know how to classify magic vagina smoke babies..
              Originally posted by Kepler
              When the giraffes start building radio telescopes they can join too.
              He's probably going to be a superstar but that man has more baggage than North West

              Comment


              • Re: Gear Grinding 9: I Need a Wine!

                Originally posted by bostonewe View Post
                We got married 5 years ago and I still look at my pictures every few months. Plus, my grandmother died a few months after our wedding and, while she was suffering from severe dementia, she was able to attend our wedding and those are the last happy memories I have with her (okay...literally tearing up, so moving on).
                we have one hanging with girl's grandma. so mookie sees that every day. coulda got away with 3 pictures and been done

                Originally posted by bostonewe View Post
                We also had a small wedding - only 69 guests .
                bow-chicka-wowwow
                a legend and an out of work bum look a lot alike, daddy.

                Comment


                • Re: Gear Grinding 9: I Need a Wine!

                  Wedding cakes seem to be a place people get creative. In the last yr at weddings I have seen cupcakes (fancy and not fancy- the not fancy were much more yummy), a pie table- family aunties made multiple pies and the couple cut their favorite type of pie instead of cake, wedding cake that was a sculpture and wedding cake that was a sheet cake (yummier than the sculpture). One of the couples bought a photo set up for their version of a photo booth- it cost less than renting one. Then they loaned it to another couple getting married after them as a their wedding gift.

                  Kind of interesting to see what is normal in different places. We went to 2 in VT- one over the top- so many little touches it overwhelmed the ceremony and one the opposite-way low key. One in Michigan- totally different and way more relaxed- they had to adjust things and they didn't flinch- a buffet of favorite foods instead of plated food. Fun stuff. WHen I listen to stories of how they did it when the older generation got married the last one seemed what happened. Kind of like a barn raising.

                  Neatest one I ever heard was a patient- they rented a tent and a dance floor- had people bring their favorite song (this was in the days of cassettes), and a batch of their favorite food= they ran power strips/extention cords from the neighbors and put all the crock pots and hot plates on long tables. It sounded like it was a blast.

                  Comment


                  • Re: Gear Grinding 9: I Need a Wine!

                    Hypothetical wedding, since I'm not dating anyone at the moment:

                    Wedding at Grace Episcopal (I'm a member- it's free)
                    5-6 people a side. Everyone wears their "best" outfit. I might wear polka dots.
                    Reception at local country club or hall. More casual dress code for the reception.
                    DJ. Lots of fun, dance worthy music. Knowing me, it'll be P!nk, Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, Lady Gaga, Ingrid Michaelson, Brian Setzer, Cherry Poppin Daddies, 90s one hit wonders,
                    Food: local BBQ from Hog Wild with a vegan option
                    Dessert: cookies, muffins, scones, filled croissants, brownies from Saunders Family Bakery. See if someone can provide a vegan/GF option.
                    If no open bar, plenty of beer, wine, cider, plus Coke, Pepsi, and LaCroix/Bubly. Plan is to provide plenty of beer from New Holland or Big Lake Brewing, and plenty of cider from Virtue Cider.
                    Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                    "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                    Patreon for exclusive writing content
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                    Comment


                    • Re: Gear Grinding 9: I Need a Wine!

                      Best wedding I ever went to was a small wedding at a park in the bride's hometown.

                      Everyone gathered, the immediate families went off to a private area away from the guests to do the actual wedding, then they all came back and held the reception at the pavilion.

                      They handed out small trees in cups as wedding favors. I re-planted the tree at my home in Michigan, and 13 years later it's over 10 feet tall.
                      Michigan Tech Huskies Pep Band: There's No Use Trying To Talk. No Human Sound Can Stand Up To This. Loud Enough To Knock You Down.

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                      • Re: Gear Grinding 9: I Need a Wine!

                        I've been doing a lot of thinking about open bar. It's a really bad idea for two reasons:
                        1. You don't get what you pay for. The costs for hosting were basically the equivalent to every single person drinking one whole bottle of wine AFTER dinner.
                        2. It's asking for trouble. You're generally responsible for all damages your guests cause plus there's the liability of drinking and driving.

                        We plan to host an hour as they flip the room. Otherwise, cash. Prices were reasonable at $5 for beer, $6-8 for top shelf. IIRC.
                        Code:
                        As of 9/21/10:         As of 9/13/10:
                        College Hockey 6       College Football 0
                        BTHC 4                 WCHA FC:  1
                        Originally posted by SanTropez
                        May your paint thinner run dry and the fleas of a thousand camels infest your dead deer.
                        Originally posted by bigblue_dl
                        I don't even know how to classify magic vagina smoke babies..
                        Originally posted by Kepler
                        When the giraffes start building radio telescopes they can join too.
                        He's probably going to be a superstar but that man has more baggage than North West

                        Comment


                        • Re: Gear Grinding 9: I Need a Wine!

                          Originally posted by dxmnkd316 View Post
                          I've been doing a lot of thinking about open bar. It's a really bad idea for two reasons:
                          2. It's asking for trouble. You're generally responsible for all damages your guests cause plus there's the liability of drinking and driving.
                          I don't think this is entirely true. All an open bar means is that it's you paying the bill for everyone's drinks, not your guests. Whatever liability exists for serving minors or obviously intoxicated individuals (the two types of illegal sales in Minnesota) still rests with the person or company selling you and your guests the alcohol.
                          That community is already in the process of dissolution where each man begins to eye his neighbor as a possible enemy, where non-conformity with the accepted creed, political as well as religious, is a mark of disaffection; where denunciation, without specification or backing, takes the place of evidence; where orthodoxy chokes freedom of dissent; where faith in the eventual supremacy of reason has become so timid that we dare not enter our convictions in the open lists, to win or lose.

                          Comment


                          • Re: Gear Grinding 9: I Need a Wine!

                            Originally posted by MissThundercat View Post
                            Hypothetical wedding, since I'm not dating anyone at the moment:

                            Wedding at Grace Episcopal (I'm a member- it's free)
                            5-6 people a side. Everyone wears their "best" outfit. I might wear polka dots.
                            Reception at local country club or hall. More casual dress code for the reception.
                            DJ. Lots of fun, dance worthy music. Knowing me, it'll be P!nk, Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, Lady Gaga, Ingrid Michaelson, Brian Setzer, Cherry Poppin Daddies, 90s one hit wonders,
                            Food: local BBQ from Hog Wild with a vegan option
                            Dessert: cookies, muffins, scones, filled croissants, brownies from Saunders Family Bakery. See if someone can provide a vegan/GF option.
                            If no open bar, plenty of beer, wine, cider, plus Coke, Pepsi, and LaCroix/Bubly. Plan is to provide plenty of beer from New Holland or Big Lake Brewing, and plenty of cider from Virtue Cider.
                            This is perfect.

                            I would recommend an open bar. Don't invite people you don't know. Since you and the spouse know your guests well enough you avoid the as-sholes who will abuse it (just don't invite Republicans or other deadbeats).

                            Most importantly, your morally casual blessed event will be responsible for at least one unplanned pregnancy, triggering yet another wedding.

                            Pay it forward.
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                            Comment


                            • Re: Gear Grinding 9: I Need a Wine!

                              Originally posted by Kepler View Post
                              This is perfect.

                              I would recommend an open bar. Don't invite people you don't know. Since you and the spouse know your guests well enough you avoid the as-sholes who will abuse it (just don't invite Republicans or other deadbeats).

                              Most importantly, your morally casual blessed event will be responsible for at least one unplanned pregnancy, triggering yet another wedding.

                              Pay it forward.
                              Basically, I plan on inviting Grace folks, Mama Bears from Free Mom Hugs, Gender SAFE, PFLAG, endurance friends, and the board at Out On The Lakeshore. I also want Mama Wendy walking me down the aisle. A fair chunk of this board is invited as well.
                              Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                              "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                              Patreon for exclusive writing content
                              Adventures With Amber Marie

                              Comment


                              • Re: Gear Grinding 9: I Need a Wine!

                                Originally posted by MinnesotaNorthStar View Post
                                Started a new job this week. HR still hasn't officially cleared 9 of 25 of us for hire. So, we have no employee numbers, no badges, etc...Couldn't attend their mandatory "Welcome to the Company" thing since we couldn't register for it. Now we have to have our class schedules rearranged to accommodate the next one, and "lose" a day off (technically we don't lose it since we just had that day off instead...but it turns one of my four day weeks into a 5 day week).
                                Still 3 of us that have yet to clear. Open enrollment ends Friday at midnight (well, 11:59) and we can't access the system to do it, can't access any study materials outside of the classroom, can't set up any accounts for any of the tools that we'll use, can't set up direct deposit so paycheck will get mailed to my address in freaking Indiana...because I can't update my address with them.

                                Now back to your regularly scheduled "Holy ****, weddings are expensive!" gear grindings...
                                Jordan Kawaguchi for Hobey!!
                                Originally posted by Quizmire
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                                Originally posted by Markt
                                MNS - forking genius.

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                                MNS - sometimes you gotta answer your true calling. I think yours is being a pimp.

                                Originally posted by hockeybando
                                I am a fan of MNS.

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