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Really Terrible Puns, v 10

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  • Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    Wow, you're gluten-free? You're really going against the grain, there. Pasta la vista, baby!
    Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
    "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
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    • What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
      Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
      "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
      Patreon for exclusive writing content
      Adventures With Amber Marie

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      • Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

        What do you call a dinosaur that takes risks?

        A Daredactyl
        Originally posted by West Texas Wolverine
        wT, your wisdom is as boundless as the volume of your cheering.



        Arenas visited:
        7 B1G
        7 CCHA (all except St Thomas)
        6 NCH (UNO, NoDak, DU, Miami, SCSU, WMU)
        5 Hockey East (BU, BC, UNH, Lowell, Vermont)
        5 ECAC (RPI, Union, Dartmouth, St. Lawrence, Clarkson)
        2 AHA (Mercyhurst, RIT)
        2 Alaskan

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        • Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

          Teacher Arrested

          A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator.

          At a morning press conference, Attorney General Jeff Sessions said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement.

          He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

          ...Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Attorney General said. 'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.' They use secret code names like "X" and "Y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns" but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

          As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle."

          When asked to comment on the arrest, President Trump said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes."

          White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President.
          CCT '77 & '78
          4 kids
          5 grandsons (BCA 7/09, CJA 5/14, JDL 8/14, JFL 6/16, PJL 7/18)
          1 granddaughter (EML 4/18)

          ”Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both.”
          - Benjamin Franklin

          Banned from the St. Lawrence University Facebook page - March 2016 (But I got better).

          I want to live forever. So far, so good.

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          • On my tombstone, please write "not appreciating my puns was a grave mistake."
            Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
            "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
            Patreon for exclusive writing content
            Adventures With Amber Marie

            Comment


            • Do conspiracy theorists go to sleep counting sheeple? Or do they stay woke as ****?
              Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
              "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
              Patreon for exclusive writing content
              Adventures With Amber Marie

              Comment


              • If I illegally download a movie in the Bahamas, does that make me a Pirate of the Caribbean?
                Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                Patreon for exclusive writing content
                Adventures With Amber Marie

                Comment


                • Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

                  The Itsy Bitsy spider washed out as a web developer.
                  CCT '77 & '78
                  4 kids
                  5 grandsons (BCA 7/09, CJA 5/14, JDL 8/14, JFL 6/16, PJL 7/18)
                  1 granddaughter (EML 4/18)

                  ”Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both.”
                  - Benjamin Franklin

                  Banned from the St. Lawrence University Facebook page - March 2016 (But I got better).

                  I want to live forever. So far, so good.

                  Comment


                  • Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

                    Why did Adele cross the road?
                    To say hello from the other side.
                    Uncle Mickey: July 23, 1950-July 22, 2003

                    WRPI, 91.5 FM...usually color commentary.

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                    • The surgical nurse was demoted for being absent without gauze.
                      Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                      "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                      Patreon for exclusive writing content
                      Adventures With Amber Marie

                      Comment


                      • "Orion's Belt is a big waist of space."

                        Terrible joke. Only 3 stars.
                        Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                        "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                        Patreon for exclusive writing content
                        Adventures With Amber Marie

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by ShirtlessBob View Post
                          "Orion's Belt is a big waist of space."

                          Terrible joke. Only 3 stars.
                          Vulcan orbits one of those stars
                          CCT '77 & '78
                          4 kids
                          5 grandsons (BCA 7/09, CJA 5/14, JDL 8/14, JFL 6/16, PJL 7/18)
                          1 granddaughter (EML 4/18)

                          ”Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both.”
                          - Benjamin Franklin

                          Banned from the St. Lawrence University Facebook page - March 2016 (But I got better).

                          I want to live forever. So far, so good.

                          Comment


                          • If we assigned gender pronouns to chocolate bars, they would be her/she.
                            Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                            "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                            Patreon for exclusive writing content
                            Adventures With Amber Marie

                            Comment


                            • Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

                              Bobby Flay's next wife will be Sue.
                              CCT '77 & '78
                              4 kids
                              5 grandsons (BCA 7/09, CJA 5/14, JDL 8/14, JFL 6/16, PJL 7/18)
                              1 granddaughter (EML 4/18)

                              ”Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both.”
                              - Benjamin Franklin

                              Banned from the St. Lawrence University Facebook page - March 2016 (But I got better).

                              I want to live forever. So far, so good.

                              Comment


                              • Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

                                Me: Orion's belt is a terrible waist of space.

                                Shirtless: Terrible joke. Only three stars.
                                CCT '77 & '78
                                4 kids
                                5 grandsons (BCA 7/09, CJA 5/14, JDL 8/14, JFL 6/16, PJL 7/18)
                                1 granddaughter (EML 4/18)

                                ”Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both.”
                                - Benjamin Franklin

                                Banned from the St. Lawrence University Facebook page - March 2016 (But I got better).

                                I want to live forever. So far, so good.

                                Comment

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