A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

[leswp1]

Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

Keep it up Bob! We are here for you.

^^this^^

[Lady wore Black]

Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

Keep it up Bob! We are here for you.

[MissThundercat]

Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

Bob, suicide and the songs that deal with it are brutal; they really are. Personally, I am a big fan of the seemingly obvious "Like Suicide" by Soundgarden (however it's not quite what you may think - I feel you will especially connect and come to terms with with the final 2 minutes of the song). It may not entirely hit home, since Chris Cornell purportedly wrote it with a random bird in mind, but it's still quite close.

I posted my "grief" playlist in the music thread. Bixby Canyon Bridge sticks out to me because of the last four lines:

"Then it started getting dark
I trudged back to where the car was parked
No closer to any kind of truth
As I must assume was the case with you."

Also: it seems like my prayer has been answered: Next Monday, I go in for a test with Muskegon County for a Youth Specialist job. It would be 24 hours a week, but it would be something in my field. And this is good too: Gerber Life Insurance got my application to be a telephone sales representative, and they want me to come in for a phone screening (assuming this is a test to see if I can work a telephone).

Between potentially working, being a Priority Health Champion (inspiring others to be healthy), fundraising for Team in Training, racing this year, volunteering at Faithful to Felines, and the daily grind, I will not lack things to do this summer. And it finally seems like my life has meaning and purpose again.

[FadeToBlack&Gold]

Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

Bob, suicide and the songs that deal with it are brutal; they really are. Personally, I am a big fan of the seemingly obvious "Like Suicide" by Soundgarden (however it's not quite what you may think - I feel you will especially connect and come to terms with with the final 2 minutes of the song). It may not entirely hit home, since Chris Cornell purportedly wrote it with a random bird in mind, but it's still quite close.

[MissThundercat]

Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

The worst part is feeling like there should have been a conversation about why this shouldn't have happened and they aren't here to have it.

I've never really experienced that. Closest would be an aunt by former marriage who was bulimic and an active alcoholic - we haven't spoken in the 17 years since my uncle divorced her, even though I know (via my uncle) that she's still alive. I can't even imagine what it would be like, I just hope you can come to terms with it, Bob.

The past few days, I've had a few things running through my head: "Suicide is Painless" (the theme from MASH), "Everybody Hurts" by R.E.M, and "Bixby Canyon Bridge" by Death Cab For Cutie.

And right now, I'm reading "Prospice" by Robert Browning... it fits.

Fear death?- to feel the fog in my throat
The mist in my face
When the snows begin, and the blasts denote
I am nearing the place,
The power of the night, the press of the storm
The post of the foe;
Where he stands, the Arch Fear in a visible form,
Yet the strong man must go:
For the journey is done and the summit attained,
And the barriers fall
Though a battle's to fight ere the guerdon be gained,
The reward of it all.
I was ever a fighter, so- one fight more,
The best and the last!
I would hate that death bandaged my eyes, and forbore,
And bade me creep past.
No! Let me taste the whole of it, fare like my peers,
The heroes of old
Bear the brunt, in a minute pay glad life's arrears
Of pain, darkness and cold.
For sudden the worst turns the best to the brave,
The black minute's at end,
And the elements' rage, the fiend-voices that rave,
Shall dwindle, shall blend,
Shall change, shall become first a peace out of pain,
Then a light, then thy breast
O thou soul of my soul! I shall clasp thee again,
And with God be the rest!

[FadeToBlack&Gold]

Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

Today, I've been learning how to cope with suicide. I was linked to the American Federation for Suicide Prevention, and seeing what resources there are for those left behind.

I've never really experienced that. Closest would be an aunt by former marriage who was bulimic and an active alcoholic - we haven't spoken in the 17 years since my uncle divorced her, even though I know (via my uncle) that she's still alive. I can't even imagine what it would be like, I just hope you can come to terms with it, Bob.

[leswp1]

Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

Today, I've been learning how to cope with suicide. I was linked to the American Federation for Suicide Prevention, and seeing what resources there are for those left behind.

The worst part is feeling like there should have been a conversation about why this shouldn't have happened and they aren't here to have it.

[MissThundercat]

Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

Sometimes people give no indication. If you are feeling like you should have picked up some indication try to let that go. I have had people look me in the eye, tell me they are safe, doing better and contract not to harm themselves and then go home and do what they just promised not to. It is an awful feeling but if they don't give a sign you can't tell. In the end only they can make the decision and they sometimes decide not to tell anyone. My heart hurts for you. Praying for you.

Hang tough Bob. Thoughts and prayers your way.

Prayers heading your way Bob. That's a tough one. I had something similar happen a year ago where a gal I knew committed suicide, leaving behind three kids.

Today, I've been learning how to cope with suicide. I was linked to the American Federation for Suicide Prevention, and seeing what resources there are for those left behind.

[Bob Gray]

Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

Prayers heading your way Bob. That's a tough one. I had something similar happen a year ago where a gal I knew committed suicide, leaving behind three kids.

[MarkEagleUSA]

Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

Hang tough Bob. Thoughts and prayers your way.

[leswp1]

Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

Just found a good friend of mine committed suicide by pills. When I last talked to her, she gave no indication that she was in trouble or needed help. And I know the past year hadn't been kind to her, but she sounded like her faith was strong and she was going to get through whatever she was going through.

My heart hurts.

Sometimes people give no indication. If you are feeling like you should have picked up some indication try to let that go. I have had people look me in the eye, tell me they are safe, doing better and contract not to harm themselves and then go home and do what they just promised not to. It is an awful feeling but if they don't give a sign you can't tell. In the end only they can make the decision and they sometimes decide not to tell anyone. My heart hurts for you. Praying for you.

[MissThundercat]

Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

Just found a good friend of mine committed suicide by pills. When I last talked to her, she gave no indication that she was in trouble or needed help. And I know the past year hadn't been kind to her, but she sounded like her faith was strong and she was going to get through whatever she was going through.

My heart hurts.

[leswp1]

Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

After being let go from Wal-Mart last year, finding a job has been hard. I've had interviews, but nothing's come of them.

With that in mind, I broke down and decided to seek help. I applied for help with Michigan Rehabilitation Services, and they will help me find and keep a job, knowing I have depression, bipolar, generalized anxiety disorder, and poor concentration. I'm tired of hearing the same speech: "you're too slow, you can't keep up, you get distracted easily..." And I've heard this speech multiple times. Heard it when I failed my hot foods final, heard it when I failed my baking final, heard it when I got let go from Wal-Mart...

And to be honest, I'm at the point where I'm regretting going to college (both times), and especially regretting my major (psychology).

Bob, don't think of it as breaking down. Think of it as taking a step in the right direction. It takes a strong person to acknowledge there's a problem... it takes and even stronger one to do something about it. You're doing what's best for you. YOU have to want it, YOU have to make it happen, and YOU can make it happen. Hang in there and stay strong!

What Mark said. Help is always a tool. Utilizing help is smart and resourceful, not breaking down. Why not utilize help if it is available?

[MarkEagleUSA]

Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

With that in mind, I broke down and decided to seek help.

Bob, don't think of it as breaking down. Think of it as taking a step in the right direction. It takes a strong person to acknowledge there's a problem... it takes and even stronger one to do something about it. You're doing what's best for you. YOU have to want it, YOU have to make it happen, and YOU can make it happen. Hang in there and stay strong!

[MissThundercat]

Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

After being let go from Wal-Mart last year, finding a job has been hard. I've had interviews, but nothing's come of them.

With that in mind, I broke down and decided to seek help. I applied for help with Michigan Rehabilitation Services, and they will help me find and keep a job, knowing I have depression, bipolar, generalized anxiety disorder, and poor concentration. I'm tired of hearing the same speech: "you're too slow, you can't keep up, you get distracted easily..." And I've heard this speech multiple times. Heard it when I failed my hot foods final, heard it when I failed my baking final, heard it when I got let go from Wal-Mart...

And to be honest, I'm at the point where I'm regretting going to college (both times), and especially regretting my major (psychology).