A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

[Carter]

Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

Summer is the time is the time I miss my folks the most, they grew fruits and veggies like no one else and they enjoyed it beyond belief.

I don't know why, but that little nugget is one of the nicest things I've ever read on the board. Especially when I put it together with your input on the gardening thread. My dad's been gone 44 years too, and although I loved him, it saddens me that I feel like I'm losing even the memories after all these years, and I can hardly draw his face into my mind anymore.

[leswp1]

Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

I still have my parents but I lost my Godmother who at times was more of a parent than either of my parents when they were divorcing. I can hear her at times when I am trying to make a decision or when I have done something she would have been proud of. Recently I found a bunch of tapes that she had been talking on. It was so good to hear her voice saying the most mundane things and hearing her chuckle, teasing someone.

[MarkEagleUSA]

Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

My dad's been gone 44 years too, and although I loved him, it saddens me that I feel like I'm losing even the memories after all these years, and I can hardly draw his face into my mind anymore.

I was only 7 when I lost dad. Unfortunately (or maybe it's fortunately) I have very few memories because I hardly got to know him.

I do know he's been with me for every important decision I've ever made. Mom always told me "don't shame your father's name" and that factored into each and every one.

Happy Father's Day, dad!

[Proud2baLaker]

Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

Some of you may remember my friends Andrew and Jenica who I mentioned earlier in the thread. They lost their son Kollin when we was stillborn earlier this year. He had died to to complications from Trisomy 18.

Well, I am happy to announce that Jenica is pregnant again. She just had a check-up and so far everything looks to be normal and the child is in good health. I ask for your throughts, prayers, good karma etc for the two of them. Hopefully this pregnancy ends with the good news of a healty baby born later this year (or actually maybe early next year...im not sure).

[leswp1]

Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

Some of you may remember my friends Andrew and Jenica who I mentioned earlier in the thread. They lost their son Kollin when we was stillborn earlier this year. He had died to to complications from Trisomy 18.

Well, I am happy to announce that Jenica is pregnant again. She just had a check-up and so far everything looks to be normal and the child is in good health. I ask for your throughts, prayers, good karma etc for the two of them. Hopefully this pregnancy ends with the good news of a healty baby born later this year (or actually maybe early next year...im not sure).

A pregnancy this soon after always comes with mixed feelings. Prayers their way. Glad to hear the pregnancy looks healthy.

[Lady wore Black]

Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

Please keep your thoughts with my co-workers and their families. One of my co-workers was killed this morning in a car accident. He leave behind a wife and a son.

[leswp1]

Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

sorry to hear. Prayers for you and all involved.

[CLS]

Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

Condolences to the Kraft family on the death of Myra Kraft, the wife of Bob Kraft, owner of the Patriots. She was a good owner’s wife, kind of the conscience of the organization. The Patriots organization, the Kraft family, and the Patriots players do a lot of philanthropic activity, and she was the driving force in most of it. When the Pats drafted a player in 1996 who had a history of violence against women, she made enough noise that they relinquished draft rights.

[leswp1]

Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

Prayers of thanksgiving. Been a rough few days with a lot going on. On top of that got a letter last night saying a test I had was not good. So blessed. In one day I got the next test I needed and cleared. Not usual to be able to get things booked so fast. Phew. So grateful!

[brookyone]

Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

Prayers of thanksgiving. Been a rough few days with a lot going on. On top of that got a letter last night saying a test I had was not good. So blessed. In one day I got the next test I needed and cleared. Not usual to be able to get things booked so fast. Phew. So grateful!

Congrats on good news!

[MountieBoyOz]

Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

Kind of need someone to vent to.

My new wife has been dealing with issues with her father for years. The backstory is that her mom and father broke up the night she was born. My wife was raised by her grandparents while her dad lived down the road less than a mile away and hardly made an effort to see her.

He continues to break her heart. He showed up late for his own daughter's (my wife) wedding because he was offended that she asked her grandfather to walk her down the aisle. Her granddad raised her and not her father. He then told my wife during the father-daughter dance that he and his wife (who is only 10 months older than me) are expecting a child. He then left because it was "too hot." The next week, he's hanging out for his son's anniversary party for the duration of the party.

I know we live an hour away, but it breaks my heart. My step-daughter wanted to see my wife's father and she filled her in on the history. The little one starts crying because her mommy is sad. It makes me mad. I just want to drive up there and yell at him, but it's still her dad. I really don't know what to do. It says to honor thy father, but he hasn't honored my wife.

Thanks for listening.

[leswp1]

Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

Kind of need someone to vent to.

My new wife has been dealing with issues with her father for years. The backstory is that her mom and father broke up the night she was born. My wife was raised by her grandparents while her dad lived down the road less than a mile away and hardly made an effort to see her.

He continues to break her heart. He showed up late for his own daughter's (my wife) wedding because he was offended that she asked her grandfather to walk her down the aisle. Her granddad raised her and not her father. He then told my wife during the father-daughter dance that he and his wife (who is only 10 months older than me) are expecting a child. He then left because it was "too hot." The next week, he's hanging out for his son's anniversary party for the duration of the party.

I know we live an hour away, but it breaks my heart. My step-daughter wanted to see my wife's father and she filled her in on the history. The little one starts crying because her mommy is sad. It makes me mad. I just want to drive up there and yell at him, but it's still her dad. I really don't know what to do. It says to honor thy father, but he hasn't honored my wife.

Thanks for listening.

Yikes that sounds painful!

Unsolicited advice- Honoring your father does not mean that you have to embrace bad behaviour. Honoring your father and mother just means that you treat them with the same respect you would treat someone if they were your customer at McDonalds. Poor behaviour on their part does not mean you need to like it but you can be polite and not rude. This guy sounds like he is self posessed and it sounds like it is a very good thing he didn't have the raising of her. I would STRONGLY advise counseling to help figure out a strategy for how to deal with this guy- when his baby is born my bet is that Gallileo (sp) will be proven wrong and the sun will revolve around his kid and him. Bets are he will suddenly increase contact so he can garner more attention for him and his child.

The biggest thing is to try to realize this guy is not a parent to your wife. He is never going to be a nurturer, he is a narcissist. Trying to give him multiple chances to redeem himself and behave as a parent isn't going to change anything. He may show himself capable of parenting this next child, esp if his wife is a good influence, but he does not view himself as your wife's parent in a way that any responsibility is required. Trying to do anything that involves making him happy is a mistake as is doing things to spite him. Try and think of him as someone that may show up or not, may participate or not and do not predicate any of your plans on what he may or may not do. If he decides to go along with the plan OK but otherwise he is free not to participate.

Is the grandfather her Mum's dad or the jerkwad's dad? If he is a good guy you may want to discuss things with him to see if he has any helpful input. If he had the raising of her he obviously would have gone thru this with her before. He may have worked out something he said/did when she felt bad that helped.

It may also be more painful for her now because she has a nice, supportive person in her life. I know that sounds crazy but your behaviour toward her makes his behaviour so much more out of line with what she knows can happen. The way you have handled the whole thing with your 'daughter' just shows her that it is perfectly reasonable to expect participation and support. Makes his lack more glaring.

A suggestion for the little one. It is always more helpful to present adult bad behaviour as 'confusing'. I have no idea why your grandfather acts this way. It confuses me. It makes Mum sad and it is confusing that he would do stuff that makes her sad. Labeling anyone bad can lead to a boatload of trouble if the person suddenly finds God and straightens out. Also label the behaviour as bad, not the person.

Good Luck!!

[MountieBoyOz]

Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

Thanks, my friend.

The grandfather is the mom's parent. He is really upset that my wife's father is having kids because he couldn't take care of my wife. My wife thinks of her mom's hubby and grandpa as her real father figures. She also points out that its sad that my dad has done more in nearly 6 years than her dad has in nearly 28.

It's kind of rough to me because my mom had personal demons to overcome when I was 5 and disappeared for 3 years. She eventually came back and made things right, but any abandonment hurts me because it brings me back to what happened to me.

Thanks a bunch for being a good friend.

[leswp1]

Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

One thing I have learned over the yrs is that parenting/nurturing is not always instinctual. Very sad but true. Our culture makes it hard for us to come to grips with parents that do not do the role well. I am glad your Mum straightened things out but I am sure it brings up doodoo.

Best you can do is acknowledge the feeling. It is legitimate to mourn he isn't a real father. No matter how much other people step in it is sad that he can't step up.

My Grammy used to always tell me not to waste my time resenting things/people because she said when they went to their maker the wheels of justice grind slow but fine. I try but sometimes I would like to see the grinding process and not just know it will come

[MissThundercat]

Re: A Thread for prayers, good vibes and what have you

Just found out today that my boss has lung cancer. No one seems to know what stage it's at, how she's feeling, etc. All we know is that she's taking a leave of absence. So * cancer.

Also, my dad's behavior has gone from gear-grinding to worrisome. One night, as I'm on FB, my aunt pops up and says "I'm no longer your dad's sister." And I ask why. Turns out, because she doesn't feel like debating the finer points of Scripture, my dad doesn't want anything to do with her, telling her "you no longer have a brother." I'm stunned because although he's been a jerk before about his beliefs, he's never done anything like this. And I'm worried because he just cut us off from the ONE family member who's been there for us over the past couple years.