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Whatever happened to the corny jokes thread? thread

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  • Whatever happened to the corny jokes thread? thread

    Hey did you hear the one about the new telekinetic abacus?

    A friend bought one for me and though I'm not crazy about it, it's the thought that counts.

  • #2
    Re: Whatever happened to the corny jokes thread? thread

    My Human Behavior in the Social Environment professor: "Your final assignment isn't something you can get done in one night!"

    All of us in class: "Is that a challenge?"
    Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
    "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
    Patreon for exclusive writing content
    Adventures With Amber Marie

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    • #3
      Re: Whatever happened to the corny jokes thread? thread

      Originally posted by MissThundercat View Post
      My Human Behavior in the Social Environment professor: "Your final assignment isn't something you can get done in one night!"

      All of us in class: "Is that a challenge?"
      I'll try the Self Improvement path

      Comment


      • #4
        Why did the man keep wiping ketchup in his eyes?
        he was trying to improve his Heinz Sight.


        How do you care for someone injured during a peakaboo accident?
        You take them to the I See You.
        "The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command." George Orwell, 1984

        "One does not simply walk into Mordor. Its Black Gates are guarded by more than just Orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep, and the Great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire and ash and dust, the very air you breathe is a poisonous fume." Boromir

        "Good news! We have a delivery." Professor Farnsworth

        Comment


        • #5
          How many apples grow on a tree?

          All of them.

          Why did the old man fall on the farm?

          He couldn't see that well.

          I went to a concert that cost just 45 cents.

          50 Cent featuring Nickelback.

          What kind of person uses the bathroom in Brussels?

          Europe pee'in.
          Cornell University
          National Champion 1967, 1970
          ECAC Champion 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1973, 1980, 1986, 1996, 1997, 2003, 2005, 2010
          Ivy League Champion 1966, 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1977, 1978, 1983, 1984, 1985, 1996, 1997, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2012, 2014, 2018, 2019, 2020

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Kepler View Post
            What kind of person uses the bathroom in Brussels?

            Europe pee'in.
            When you're running to get to the loo, you're Russian.

            When you're done, you're Finnish.

            Comment


            • #7
              My neighbor just moved from Portland in the Pacific Northwest.

              I’ve gotten an Oregon transplant
              Uncle Mickey: July 23, 1950-July 22, 2003

              WRPI, 91.5 FM...usually color commentary.

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              • #8
                I had a girlfriend break up with me because I made too many Linkin Park references, but in the end it doesn’t even matter...
                U-A-A!!!Go!Go!GreenandGold!
                Applejack Tells You How UAA Is Doing...
                I spell Failure with UAF

                Originally posted by UAFIceAngel
                But let's be real...There are 40 some other teams and only two alaskan teams...the day one of us wins something big will be the day I transfer to UAA
                Originally posted by Doyle Woody
                Best sign by a visting Seawolf fan Friday went to a young man who held up a piece of white poster board that read: "YOU CAN'T SPELL FAILURE WITHOUT UAF."

                Comment


                • #9
                  Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last as long for fat people.
                  Cornell University
                  National Champion 1967, 1970
                  ECAC Champion 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1973, 1980, 1986, 1996, 1997, 2003, 2005, 2010
                  Ivy League Champion 1966, 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1977, 1978, 1983, 1984, 1985, 1996, 1997, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2012, 2014, 2018, 2019, 2020

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Roommate: My thesaurus is missing. I think someone stole it.

                    Me: Egads! I am simply crestfallen at the speculation of this larceny!
                    Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                    "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                    Patreon for exclusive writing content
                    Adventures With Amber Marie

                    Comment

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